Geidlbots:Tales of German Robots Living in America

'Tis the Season NOT for Blogging!

2011-12-05T14:24:00.002-06:00

I wish I had time to blog. I haven't even had time to read blogs. How life changes when you have lots of kids!!!

Our Christmas tree is up and decorated. This means that the twins are getting a lot more pack and play time. :) We are using our Way of Light Advent Wreath from the Voskamp family along with the Advent Calendar I made last year. I love anticipating Christmas Day with my family.

What do you do for gifts for your kids? Dollar limit? Gift limit? No gifts? Stocking stuffers? We generally give our kids three gifts each and stocking stuffers. I am curious if anyone has given less to their kids and given more to the poor? We would love to head in this direction, but we are not sure our kids would get it or appreciate the altruism especially since they have not placed their faith in Christ yet.

Would love your kind feedback.

Merry Christmas!

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Blogging? Oh...yeah, I used to do that...

2011-11-04T17:08:00.000-05:00

I have thought about blogging. But not for more than a nanosecond.

The truth, the sad, sad, truth is that I have finally come to a time in my life where I sincerely do not have the time for it! It was easier when my big kids were little and there were only three of them. Now that there are five of them and two of them are homeschooling, I have found that I have very little time for anything but life.

I have a house helper, Gemma, who comes to help me a couple of days a week, and she helps with the house and the kids and really whatever I need her to do. But I am STILL BUSY all day long. It's weird. But hey, at least my house looks better than it did, and I am thankful for being able to focus on the kids more than the housework.

I know a lot of people do it alone, and I applaud them. I suppose I could do it, but I wouldn't be very nice. I'm pretty certain of that. That's where we were headed about a month ago. People who have twins will understand me when I say that it really is harder with twins. Pulling the "twin card" is my new normal. But honestly, there is no other explanation (except that I may just be crazy???). So, if I pull the "twin card" with you, just smile and nod and pray for me!

Sam is doing well in school. I know, not a big surprise! He's super smart and very inquisitive and thoughtful. Maryn is also excelling in school and enjoying it so much. She really loves to be doing her schoolwork. Sam and Maryn have been spending their free time building a "circus" out in the yard with old firewood. It's so cute.

I decided to start trying to pottytrain Lucy again. She will be three in 12 days, and my other two kids did well at 3. She is no exception. She had success for two days in a row with a couple of accidents, and then today, she has peed in the potty three times, pooped once, and so far, has had no accidents today! She is gaining confidence and excitement, and I'm so proud of her. It really is best to wait until they're ready.

Felix is jabbering a lot. He also likes to carry toys around in his mouth while he crawls around. He looks like a puppy. He is so cute. I swear he can say "dog." He is doing well with baby food and some table food.

Milo is starting to screech a lot. He is also trying to walk. He's taken many steps, but he usually has to be coaxed. He is gaining a lot of weight too and looking so cute and chubby. He LOVES to eat. I think it is his favorite thing to do.

Both babies are sleeping in their own room. They aren't sleeping through the night, but at least they're in their own room and Dave and I don't have to tiptoe anymore.

We took a vacation to Oklahoma City and Tulsa and then Northwest Arkansas. It was exhausting but fun. Maybe someday, I will think about uploading some pictures. Well, Milo sounds sad, so I better go, but that is what is going on in our lives. Hopefully, I can find more time for this, but right now, it isn't looking like it!

Recommendations for Twins

2011-09-26T14:18:00.000-05:00

I currently know four people in my circle of friends who are having twins! In thinking about what it was like to be pregnant with twins, I thought it might be a blessing for them to know how I did it. Of course, they may not care, and that's okay too, but just in case they want advice from someone who is a few steps ahead, here are some recommendations based on my experience.

1. If you're breastfeeding, get this nursing pillow. It is great. Once I had them latched on, I was hands-free! It's awesome. It is generous in size, and I have used it from the time I got home with the boys. Now, my boys were term and Felix weighed 6 lbs 12 oz, and Milo weighed 7 lbs 5 oz, so they were not teeny tiny preemies. This may not work for you until they get bigger if yours end up coming early. But I love it, and STILL use it and my boys are 9 months old.

Double Blessings Twin Nursing Pillow (stock photo from doubleblessings.com)

2. I wanted a lightweight, inexpensive double stroller. Another twin parent recommended a side by side as one twin may not like being behind the other and want to be able to see out. This sounded reasonable. You can spend as much as you want on a stroller. Evaluate what you'll use it for. I knew I would use mine either for a walk on a track, the mall, the zoo, or running errands. I would not be jogging with it, so I knew I could buy something cheaper and not as awesome. Plus, I live on a gravel road off of a state highway, so I knew I wouldn't be strolling regularly. I went with the Jeep double umbrella stroller, got it at stroller.com for $70 in May with free shipping. The sunshades are a joke, but I have been pleased with the stroller for the price.

Jeep Wrangler Twin Sport Umbrella Stroller (photo courtesy of stroller.com)

3. Nutrition is the MOST important component of managing a twin pregnancy. This book was amazing, and I attribute my healthy outcomes both to God and to following the high protein diet in this book.

When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy

4. Schedule help. Dave was able to be home with us for two weeks. 50% of twins are born by c-section, so having help is even more imperative. Regardless of how you birth your twins, you MUST rest for a month afterwards if at all possible. My midwife, who provided me with nutrition and breastfeeding advice, said I needed to sleep as much as possible for the first month--no housework--just sleep, eat, and nurse the babies. I have three older children under the age of 6. I did not know how this was going to work, especially after Dave went back to work. So, I made a calendar and divided the days he wouldn't be here into two sections: 8am-12pm and 1pm-5pm. People would mention in passing, "I'd love to help you when the babies come" or "Just let me know how I can help." So, I made sure that I got all their names written down along with their phone numbers, emails, and times they were available to help. Then, each week, I would contact people to fill in those time slots. Making them 4 hr time slots seemed more doable and less overwhelming for people, and praise God, I only ever had to be alone with all 5 children TWICE in that first month. I didn't have a full day alone with all of them until the beginning of February. I got plenty of rest. They watched the older children, made them lunch, fed them snacks, helped pick up around the house, made me lunch, helped me change and burp the twins. It was amazing. I would not have made it without my team of helpers that first month! Don't be afraid to ask for help. You cannot and should not try to do this alone. It will keep you from getting depressed and overwhelmed.

5. Freeze meals. I had two weeks of meals that were brought to my home by friends and church members. But, I knew that eventually, the meals would stop. So, about a month before the babies were due, my friend, Tina, came over and helped me put a bunch of meals in the freezer. For two weeks, I bought two of everything and made double of every meal and froze half. By the time the twins came, I had 17 meals in my freezer. I have a LARGE freezer, but I also have a small deep freeze. You can get a small deep freeze for about $150. It's worth it.

6. If you can afford it, hire a housekeeper. I hired Miss Emelyn about a month before the twins came. She and her sister or her niece come every other week. She does anything I need her to do--dishes, laundry, all cleaning, help with the kids or the babies. They are amazing. I would not make it without them. I recently had to clean my house (all the way) by myself while they were on vacation. I survived it, but I was super overwhelmed by all that I had to do. I knew that hiring her was cheaper than therapy! I also love having her around; she is a blessing to our family.

7. And, if you can do this, it will make everything better--keep your twins on the same feeding and napping schedule. Ours is not hard core or strict, by any means, but they ALWAYS eat at the same time, and I lay them down for naps at the same time. This has given me the time I need to rest and recharge and to homeschool my older two children. This was by far one of the best decisions I have made.

I hope you find all of this helpful, and if you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to ask. Your twins will bless you more than you even know!!!

Remembering Him

2011-09-16T09:28:00.001-05:00

When someone dies, we try to remember everything we can about them--the good memories, their laugh, the way their hands looked at rest, the way their eyes would light up.

But what do you do when you lose someone you never got to meet?

I think, in my case, I have been remembering who Jesus was to me in my grief.

He was my strong tower. I ran to Him, and I was safe.

He was my light in a very dark time.

He was there, steadfast and true, never leaving my side.

He was the one who helped me run like I had never run before--He was my coach, my endurance. I ran a race and ran it well, thanks to Him.

He was the friend who didn't try to fix me. He just listened to me and held me when I cried.

He was my mirror, showing me some things in my life that He wanted to change and heal.

He was the Giver. And He blessed me two-fold. With Felix and Milo. Two instead of one. He laughed, I am sure!, when I learned I was carrying two!

He was my everything. And He still is.

So, on this day, the day my precious one would have been having the first birthday, I remember. I remember the excitement for the little one. I remember how quickly I loved. I remember the crushing reality of loss.

And I remember, how deeply He loved me through it all. And I thank Him.

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God's Classroom

2011-09-15T15:02:00.000-05:00

: Read
The Color Green Lyrics
here.

I highly recommend listening to this song by Rich Mullins, The Color Green, while you read this post. :)

The high today is supposed to be 74. I knew the kids had to be outside most of today, if possible. So, we took our lessons outside along with our nature box and socks and jackets. The children played between subjects. The babies joined us for a little while.

It was wonderful.

The breeze was cool. The air was fresh. And we are all plumb tuckered out.

Our Classroom

Hard at work

Getting fresh air and looking so cute in pants and long-sleeved shirts!

What is this?

Our pup dog, Woodrow

So sweet.

Sam, 1st Grade

Maryn, Kindergarten

Lucy, footloose and fancy-free (almost 3!)

And me, the teacher, once again.

A-Rambling We Go

2011-09-15T14:27:00.001-05:00

I haven't had the time or motivation to blog lately. I also think that laundry, dishes, and schooling doesn't sound super interesting. But just in case it does, here ya go.

I have found that adding school back into my schedule has really made a difference in my amount of free time. I have struggled to find moments of rest or time to do something fun. That is something I would like to figure out. I've noticed it is important for me to have some time for myself so I can breathe and think in quiet. Dave has been helping me in this department, and I am so thankful he serves me like this.

I am actually really enjoying homeschooling this year. I am much more relaxed, and the kids are not rushed or pressured. We take our time, and I attend to Lucy and the babies as needed.

Sam is learning a lot of great mental math methods. He is reading a few grades ahead, and his penmanship is impressive. He seems to enjoy school more this year, and I think my attitude change is a big part of that. He is constantly making something out of paper. He loves origami.

Maryn loves school. She is actually ahead of her math book, but I am not rushing her to complete extra. She is doing awesome with her reading and is learning to figure out words she doesn't know on her own. Her penmanship improves all the time. Her grip is a little strange, so I try to gently correct it. She loves making kitty-cat masks with paper and pipe cleaners (her design!).

I have been reading aloud a book my Great-Great Uncle David Unsell wrote, _Roxy the Raccoon_, about his pet raccoon. It has been a fun story and the kids love hearing about Roxy's adventures. I think it is super cool to have a story like this from our family. I met my Great-Great Uncle David when I was eight. He came to my Great Grandpa's funeral. He was hard of hearing and had one of those ear trumpets that we had to speak into. I am glad I met him and now have this bit of history from his life. The kids are narrating the story back to me in pictures. They are getting quite good at drawing raccoons.

Lucy's speech is improving all the time. She often surprises me with some of the things she says. She is a funny girl. The cutest thing is how she says "grand-daddy longlegs." I have got to get it on video. She loves to color. She loves watching Curious George. She calls him, "Georgie."

Felix is pulling up on the furniture now. He is getting two more teeth--this will make six for him. He says, "dug-a-dug-a-dug-a" and it is so funny. He grins a lot. He seems to like baby food alright. He also has learned to point, to wave, and to clap.

Milo is starting to cruise around the furniture. He has zero teeth, but his gums are swollen, so we are expecting some to come in soon. He wants food, but has a pretty strong gag reflex and is figuring out how to manipulate it. He has also learned to point. He doesn't say "ma-ma" much anymore :(, but he is saying "da-da" now.

Stay tuned shortly for a post full of pictures of our day in school OUTSIDE!

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Loved.

2011-08-15T20:01:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here listening to Kathryn Scott's "I Belong" on my friend Shanda's blog.

I don't have much to say today. I just feel loved.

Because I am.

And so are you.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Have a listen.

Receive from Him.

Geidlbot-schooling

2011-08-06T21:24:00.001-05:00

My friend, Shana, asked me to talk about what we're doing this year for homeschooling--specifically about the Charlotte Mason approach we are taking.

Let me back up a bit.

I said, "I will never homeschool unless I live in the jungle."

Well, this little town isn't a jungle, but here I am, homeschooling and eating a heaping plate of crow.

Last year, I homeschooled Sam. I took a very traditional approach because frankly, it is what I am most comfortable with after having taught in a traditional school setting for a couple of years and being raised in that same kind of school. What I found was that Sam learned a lot--all he was "supposed" to learn and more. What I also found was that I HATED his math curriculum with a passion because there were SO MANY stinkin' activities for each lesson and tons of prep for me--FOR KINDERGARTEN!!! Also, I found that Sam and I were not getting along (just as I knew it would be) because I couldn't seem to find my role as parent AND as teacher. My authority and his submission were at war, and it began to affect his perception of education. He didn't like it or get excited about anything we were learning. I was tired of threatening him and having to make it so rigid so I could be "in control."

It was exhausting at times, and I wasn't enjoying it.

Yet, I knew I was supposed to continue this year with Sam AND Maryn. I began hearing and reading bits about Charlotte Mason. I have a friend who is a missionary to Asia who homeschools her six children and uses the Charlotte Mason approach. I was unaware of this when I approached her about advice regarding schooling more than one child. She said, "I want you to read this book, For the Children's Sake, by Susan Schaeffer Macauley. Read it, and then call me."

I got the book. I read it. I tried to get in touch with her, but she's a busy lady, and I haven't gotten a chance to chat with her. However, the Lord blessed me with an opportunity to chat with another mama who uses this approach, Michelle. She homeschools her four oldest children. I was so encouraged to talk with her and get some ideas for how to practically bring the Charlotte Mason approach into our home.

Who was Charlotte Mason?

She was an educator at the end of the 19th century in England. She viewed children as people (imagine that!). Children were not vessels to be filled with facts and figures but people, made in God's image, to be nurtured and exposed to all the truths of God (because ALL truth is GOD's truth). In her opinion, children should be exposed to the truth of God's Word, living books (firsthand accounts, books written by single authors instead of textbooks written by a plethora of people), nature as a hands-on study, art and music. She felt that the bulk of structured learning should take place before lunchtime so that the children would have the afternoon free for playing outside, exploring and imagining (still learning!), for crafts, baking, cooking, and all other active endeavors. Doing math first thing in the morning makes sense because children are sharpest early in the morning. There would be plenty of time for the mother to read aloud to the children. The focus of education was not to earn a grade but to better oneself--to learn for the sake of learning. I cannot possibly continue to describe all of Mason's approach--get the book and read it! This is just the nutshell version.

As I read Macauley's book, I found myself, "Aha!"-ing and, "Yes!"-ing. Her approach resonated in me and helped me to see where I had gone wrong. I was trying to cram a bunch of information into my child as if he were a vat to fill rather than a person who needed to be exposed to God's world and truth. Education is but a means to know more of God.

So, this is what we are doing:

We begin our day with Bible reading of some sort (it usually involves art or story or both). Then, we pray for a missionary we support (and we will soon be adding prayer for unreached people groups using Window on the World--Michelle gave me this idea). We ask God for something and thank Him for something. Simple. Short. And definitely sweet.

We do math next while they're still fresh and sharp. I am using Singapore math this year, and so far I love it. Love, love, love it. The books are GREAT. The concepts are amazing. I love seeing this math process. It makes so much sense to me, and I wish I had used it as a child. I do not think this curriculum will include things like the seasons and the calendar, but that is easy to do without a curriculum. :)

Next, we do our phonics and reading. I prefer A Beka for this subject--I was raised on it, and I taught it. I think it is a really well-developed program. I was very impressed with how well it prepared Sam for reading. We review some phonics rules, they do use workbooks, and then they read to me in their readers (and Maryn also reads Bob Books to me or the Nora Gaydos' Now I'm Reading! books).

This year, I added Spelling and Language for Sam (also A Beka). He has a little more work than Maryn, but I love how both subjects are coordinated with what he is learning in phonics. It is very thorough and consistent across the board. If I had to guess based on reading assessments, Sam is reading at a 2nd or 3rd grade level. I don't know if I should attribute that to him being a firstborn or the curriculum. :)

We finish with handwriting. We use Handwriting Without Tears. I LOVE this program. It was developed by an occupational therapist for children with developmental delays like dysgraphia and dyslexia. The approach is very logical, and I love how easy it is to teach and to learn.

I give the children a break between each subject. Sometimes we listen to a Laurie Berkner song or do a silly dance or just play. Sometimes we will have a snack together if it is around that time of day. After we have finished all our work, we settle in together and I read aloud to them. We're currently reading the first Boxcar Children book. We also picked up a lot of books at the library about different kinds of dogs (inspired by Sam's question, "What kind of dog is Woodrow?"). We have been looking through those and learning some neat things about dogs--did you know that Dalmatians are typically the only breed of dog that horses will tolerate? We have loved reading James Herriot's stories of his life as a veterinarian in the English countryside.

And we are usually done with all of this in 90 minutes to 2 hrs. We spend time outside as much as we can (which hasn't been a whole lot in this heat). We've tried to identify some nuts from trees in our yard as well as feathers, spiders, and other insects. I am looking forward to Fall and Springtime for our nature studies! I also plan to incorporate a bit of art and music study here and there, though not daily. None of this is hard-core--just exposure-oriented.

I am also learning to alter MY attitude towards education. I am enthusiastic and draw the children TO me in times of disagreeableness rather than threatening them when they refuse to do their work. I try to bring everything back to God and His work in the world, and I have been floored by the questions my children are asking me. I am so thankful I learned about this approach!!!

So, that's what we're doing! I appreciate the interest and hope I didn't bore you!

If you are interested in more resources concerning Charlotte Mason curriculum ideas, check out these sites! I hope to spend more time on them soon and incorporate more new-to-me ideas. :)

Ambleside Online

Simply Charlotte Mason

Simple Homeschool

An Old-Fashioned Education

So Much to Say

2011-08-06T11:15:00.001-05:00

I have not blogged in weeks. I keep thinking about it, but the time and opportunity just hasn't come up. I've spent much of my free time reading The Hunger Games trilogy, which was fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed the series.

I planned out the first six weeks of school for my kiddos. That was hard, but I'm glad I got it taken care of. We started school last Monday, and the kids are doing so great. I will blog about what we're doing homeschool-wise later.

Dave and I have been using one car since May. We didn't intend for that to happen, but it has, and we're doing fine with it. We went out one day and looked at trucks, thinking we might get one for Dave and just trade in our old Acura. But, I didn't have peace about it, and it all felt very rushed, so we stepped back. We are getting VERY close to paying off the last 1/5 of our student loan debt. We just didn't want to lose any momentum by adding car debt to the pile. We decided to fix the Acura. So, since May, we have been waiting for a good, used engine to present itself so the mechanic can use parts from it to fix the car. Evidently, they're not getting many leads. And we wait.

I don't really have anywhere to go anyway, so it hasn't been a big deal. But, people think we're crazy. And that's okay. We're getting closer and closer to our goal.

My twins are 7 months old and getting more and more mobile. Milo is crawling, sitting up occasionally, and pulling up on things. He is my earliest mobile child. Felix is army-crawling and rocking on his hands and knees. He has FOUR teeth and two more trying to break through.

Sam and Maryn are so stinking smart. They're crazy good readers and constantly wowing me. They've been pretty busy making things and playing pretty hard.

Lucy is less destructive these days. She still occasionally puts things in the toilet, but not nearly as much. She hasn't colored on the walls in a couple of months. Progress!!! I see pottytraining in our future, and I am already ready for it to be over! :) She's getting closer to being really ready. Her speech is improving all the time, and we're starting to communicate better. She still has melt-downs when I don't understand her, but they are fewer.

Lucy has also taken a liking to grand-daddy longlegs. Here's one of her buddies:

There is another beautiful garden spider at our house this year. This one is out by the deck so I don't get to see her as much as I did the one by the window last year. I think she is amazing. I don't want to touch her, but I enjoy watching her.

My dear househelp is on vacation in the Philippines. She will be back at the end of the month. Thankfully, my friend, Nicole, was able to come help this week. Last week, I cleaned everything except the hardwoods (I swept but didn't mop). It was nice to know I could do it, but made me thankful that I don't have to try to do it all regularly.

I am exhausted these days. I am ready to figure out a way to get more breaks so I can breathe and be refreshed. Feel free to pray for this in my life. God knows what I need, and I think He will provide even this.

So, this is my update. I wish I could keep up better, but I haven't been able to. I hope to be able to blog about homeschooling very soon. I am LOVING what we are doing this year, and I look forward to sharing that with you.

Projects Are Contagious

2011-07-16T20:43:00.001-05:00

Beware the project bug. It is highly infectious, and if you aren't careful, it will not only bite you, but it will also bite your children.

Maryn wanted to make a blanket. She picked out her own fabric. Then, she decided she wanted to HAND SEW it! This mama was thrilled!

She worked on it for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. She almost finished it, but we had to wait until the next day.

Her stitches were so cute. I wish they were on the outside so I could still see them.

We top stitched it as a team.

And voila!!! Her first sewing project!!!! COMPLETE.

Sam also got bitten. His aspiration was a pillow. He pinned it up after he chose the fabric.

Don't worry; he was supervised. :)

Time to stuff it!

Ready for a nap? Sam's first project--FINISHED. WOW.

Kids are capable of a lot more than many of us tend to think. Give your kid some freedom to create; you may be surprised at how awesome they are!!! I sure was!

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The Books Are Back

2011-07-10T18:57:00.000-05:00

Since having the twins, I haven't been able to read nearly like I normally do. I have always loved to read, and when I am sleep-deprived and going non-stop, I just don't have the time.

And when I'm nursing twins (mostly early on), I had a hard time concentrating on much...and the Facebook app on my phone kept me entertained, and I didn't have to think.

That has all recently changed. Thank the Lord. I have missed reading. I have completed two books this week and started another.

1. I started reading this back in March. It took me awhile since I have still been in "baby fog" land. I just finished it, and I LOVED IT. I can't even put into words how fantastic this book is.

Buy one. Buy some more for your friends. Read her blog. Be blessed, and be a blessing.

One Thousand Gifts

by Ann Voskamp

This book has helped me to really SEE. To SEARCH. To BE THANKFUL. To BE A BLESSING.

To realize HE IS GOOD.

2. I am in a discipleship group in our church. Our pastor leads the group, and he asked us to read this next book. It's pretty popular right now, though I don't know why--its topic is not a popular one. I'm just going to trust the Holy Spirit is moving and using this little book.

Radical

by David Platt

The ideas and concepts in this book (discipleship, multiplication, wartime lifestyle, Great Commission) were not new to me. In fact, I had three years of training in these ideas back in college. I've lived as a mobilizer in the past, we regularly give to missionaries and have committed to long-term service overseas, we support a child with Compassion (that's her in the photo--Umutesi). But, for the million things I'm NOT doing, this book was a GREAT reminder. I didn't feel guilty when reading it, instead, my zeal for giving my life to the Great Commission was renewed. I feel recharged and encouraged to press on. There are companion materials online as well.

3. The book I am now reading is to help prepare me for homeschooling. I homeschooled Samuel last year, and we were successful. He learned what he needed to, he blew me away with his brilliance, and unfortunately, we fought a lot. This year, I will be homeschooling TWO kids. Maryn will be in kindergarten, and Sam will move on to first grade. And then there is busy 2-year-old Lucy and the baby twins. I turned to my friend, Annette (who is a missionary is East Asia with 6 children that she homeschools), and said, "I want your advice." THIS is the book she told me to read first.

For the Children's Sake

by Susan Schaeffer Macauley

I had been curious about Charlotte Mason, the woman whose ideas this book is patterned after. She was a teacher/philosopher in the late 19th century. I had read bits about her and how she viewed children as persons, not merely as containers to be filled with information. I am excited to see what I learn from this book. So far, I am enjoying it, and it is helping me to look at my children differently--each as unique creations by God with their own ideas and personalities. I think when it comes to school, it is easy to lump them all together and do the same thing for each. The beauty of homeschooling is being able to play to your child's strengths and to meet them on their level--to listen to them and learn from them as well.

I've been informed about a couple of online communities that espouse the Charlotte Mason philosophies:

Simple Homeschool

Ambleside Online

Thank you, Melissa and Laurel, for your suggestions. I can't wait to spend more time on these sites.

Finally, I have another Charlotte Mason book (the Companion, actually) that I am going to read/peruse (cuz it's so big!!!). And for fun, I am going to start with the first of the popular, new trilogy, The Hunger Games.

Happy Summer Reading!

The Baby Weight

2011-06-30T14:04:00.001-05:00

I have a new theory. Before I share, let me clarify a few of my beliefs.

1. I think childbirth is a picture of Christ on the cross--the agony, the pain, the laboring, and then the new birth--I bring forth a baby; He brought forth the Church.

2. I think women stress too much about losing baby weight (self included).

3. I don't believe there is a certain time frame in which you must lose it (Ignore that "9 months to gain, 9 months to lose" lie.).

So, my theory?

I think a pregnant body and a postpartum body is beautiful. Even though I sometimes struggle with the way I look now (usually a result of comparing myself to others), I do truly think it is a beautiful thing. Why?

In the same way that Jesus' body was battered, bruised, torn, tattered, bleeding, gushing water, heart exploding, so does mine.

Now, I know you may be thinking that I'm crazy to compare the pains of pregnancy and childbirth to a crucifixion, and I get that--just hear me out--I, in no way, think I have EVER physically suffered even close to what my Savior endured on that cross. But look at the similarities:

1. He had stripes on his back from being whipped (cannot fathom that kind of pain).
   I have stretch marks.

2. His body was torn by the cat of nine tails.
   Mine was torn by babies.

3. He had blood pouring out of his body.
   I did too.

4. When he died, they stabbed him with a spear, and blood and water gushed out.
   When my bags of water broke, the water gushed out.

5. He labored to breathe.
   I labored with measured, meted breaths.

6. His heart finally exploded.
   Mine exploded in JOY.

Now, I realize I may be reaching with this one, but I thought of it the other day after I'd been asked if I was pregnant with #6 (and I'm SO NOT)...which doesn't HURT my feelings, really, because I know my abs LOOK pregnant. And this has happened to me many times because twins just destroy the abdominal muscles. But, I was mourning my pre-baby body, my pre-TWINS body, and then this thought occurred to me:

After Jesus arose, even His glorified body still had scars. Why?

As proof? For Thomas? For me?

So, when I stand in front of the mirror and see my twin-skin, the stretch marks, and the separated ab muscles that could only EVER be repaired with surgery, I am going to remind myself of what I accomplished--

I brought forth NEW LIFE.

And so did He. And for that, I am ever grateful.

Naming His Gifts

2011-06-26T15:26:00.000-05:00

I love that as I thank God for the gifts He's given, I worship Him. I'm telling Him that He is a good Father, a good Savior, a good Creator, and the list will never end.

"To name a thing is to manifest the meaning and value God gave it, to know it as coming from God and to know its place and function within the cosmos created by God. To name a thing, in other words, is to bless God for it and in it." Alexander Schmemann (For the Life of the World: Sacraments and Orthodoxy)

And so, today, I take some time here, in this bit of cyberspace, to name some gifts and bless Him for them and in them.

I bless Him...

for blue skies with white clouds,

for wild roses by my front door,

for prequilted cotton for little girls' skirts,

for a baby learning to crawl,

for a baby getting two teeth and still smiling,

for sharing the playmat,

for an eldest who daily surprises me with his brain,

for my vivacious sing-songy girl,

for those curls,

for sweaty, red-faced "Bright Light,"

for popsicles on a hot summer day,

for boxes just her size,

for wiggly guys...

who climb on each other,

and think it's normal.

My Own Personal Bob Ross

2011-06-19T22:54:00.003-05:00

Dave is creative. He can draw, paint, write poetry, play the guitar...he's talented. We've recently been watching a lot of Bob Ross with the kids on Saturday mornings. We're fascinated with how easy he makes it look. As I began thinking about what I wanted to get Dave for Father's Day, I first thought that a Bob Ross art kit would be perfect. They're really expensive when you buy them at Hobby Lobby, but I got one for HALF online.

He was so excited when I let him open his gift a day early (I have such a hard time waiting!!!). He has painted with acrylics and watercolors plenty of times before, but this was his first venture into oil painting. I am so proud of him. I think he did a great job.

Here he is in action!

Smoothing out the bottom of the mountain to make it all misty.

Impressive, eh??

Rockin' it Bob Ross style!

Adding the land and happy trees...

Time for some bushes and reflection in the water

The finished masterpiece!

Happy Father's Day to my most talented husband! The kids are gonna flip when they wake up in the morning and see this!!!

Pretty Things

2011-06-17T11:28:00.000-05:00

Reading One Thousand Gifts is one of the best things I've ever done in my life. I am not exaggerating. It has truly been a huge blessing. One of the things Ann Voskamp encourages is taking photos and using the camera as a way to document your thankfulness. I took her advice this morning and went around my house and outdoors looking for beauty--looking for the blessings He so abundantly supplies.

My $5 vase

My anniversary gift this year: a Hakuro Nashiki Willow

My homemade kitchen curtains

Work in progress

Potential

Sunlight in the Trees

The Diaper Rainbow

A Gift

New Things

2011-06-16T09:36:00.004-05:00

1. Felix is getting his first tooth. It broke through the other day. Milo is still toothless.

2. Milo started pushing up on his hands and knees.

And does some push-ups that I will never be able to do.

Felix still won't roll from back to belly, but he loves his feet.

3. Felix jabbers all the time. Milo just started trying out his voice.

Not the same, folks! It's neat to see how their personalities assist them in their development.

1. Lucy had a 103+ fever for four days. I am glad it went away.

2. Sam has poison ivy (or something). It's EVERYWHERE.

3. Maryn and I are getting our hair cut on Saturday. I'm going back to my pixie ways. These locks are driving me crazy.

In other news:

1. I really, really like The Vespers.

2. I also really like Ray LaMontagne (I realize I'm a bit slow to hop on this boat...but I had twins, so give me a break.)

3. Dave and I are still working on our movie project blog. We are getting more accomplished since it is summer and our shows aren't on. I will be posting about Dr. Zhivago soon. Next up is In the Heat of the Night.

4. I finally got some important things mailed. It makes me feel better to get them out of the house.

5. Working on a sweater for my friend, Manda. It's actually for her baby girl, Charlie, who needs to hurry up and get here so we can see how cute she is.

6. I found some new cotton yarn colors to add to my granny square afghan that I'm patterning after this lovely one.

That is all. Sorry to be brief and shallow. :) My thoughts are quite unorganized these days, and my opportunities to blog are few--so this is what you get today!!! Thanks to those who read--I am shocked you still do--I hope to someday be interesting again!

Our Memorial Day

2011-06-09T12:58:00.000-05:00

Dave was on call Memorial Weekend, so we stuck around town. We had thought up a few plans, but when all was said and done, we ended up picking up dinner and heading to the park.

After we ate, the kids ran straight for the swings. Lucy LOVES to swing. She would do it forever, I'm pretty sure.

Maryn likes swinging, and can pump her legs really well, but she also loves to swing on her belly.

I gave Sam a few underdogs (remember those?).

By the way, his hair is not long anymore. We got it cut short for the summer last weekend. He looks so mature! I will have to get some pics to put on here.

After the swings, they headed to the merry-go-round. I liked this picture the best.

While the kids were playing, the babies just chilled in the stroller. They were pretty good for awhile.

Felix

Milo

Our playground has equipment either as old as I am or older. Kids don't seem to mind.

The babies started to fuss, so we headed off on a walk. Our park connects to a walking track by ball fields. We headed that direction and ran into some acquaintances and stopped to talk. Lucy began running everywhere and making me nervous. It's hard to keep an eye on that girl! I like this action shot--definitive Lucy!!!

Maryn picked some ~~weeds~~ flowers for me. I let her carry them. :)

It was a nice, relaxing evening. I so love my family.

Thank you, veterans, for your sacrifices that make our peaceful lives here possible.

Reply to Comments on Blogger

2011-06-06T11:45:00.000-05:00

I just discovered this. Blogger doesn't have this kind of option, and it annoys me. I found this tutorial that helped me figure out how to do this. I will warn you, you have to scroll about 3/4 of the way down on your Edit Html page to find the code you need to insert your NEW code after.

AND you have to make sure under your settings that you have embedded your comments at the end of your posts instead of on a separate page.

Here's the LINK. Now you can reply to comments!!! Isn't that great?

Strawberry Shortcake Cookies

2011-06-03T14:37:00.002-05:00

We wanted cookies today, but our baking stores were limited. So, I got creative!!!! I can't take full credit for these because I've borrowed from several recipes to concoct them. But they are a little taste of the full blown Strawberry Shortcake.

First, I start with Amy Karol's shortbread recipe (you can print off a clean copy!). This is so fast and easy!!!

Mix together in a bowl:

1/2 cup butter (one stick)
1 cup flour
1/3 cup powdered sugar

On wax paper, I used my hands to make the dough into a ball and then I rolled it out into a cyllinder (kind of like rolled dough you buy at the store--slice and bake but a little smaller). I sliced the roll into 1/2 pieces and put them on a cookie sheet. Then, I took the jam thumbprint route and used my thumb to make an indention in the middle of each one. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.

Then, I used my homemade strawberry freezer jam! I used a baby spoon to push the indentions deeper on the hot cookies, then I filled each indention with the jam. I put them back in the oven for 5 minutes. Remove to wire rack.

Then, I piped some Cool Whip (in a plastic bag with the corner cut off) on the tops. Voila! Strawberry Shortcake Cookies!!! Delicious! And SOOOO easy--about 20 minutes start to finish. Makes about 15 cookies (just enough so you don't overdo it!). Enjoy!

The Labor of Love

2011-06-02T14:59:00.001-05:00

We don't feel like we did those first weeks we dating. Once in awhile, we catch each other's eye, and there are butterflies. But by and large, the love is deeper...stronger...quieter.

It has roots. It has withstood the wind, the rain, and the bitter cold.

And it hasn't withstood because we are strong or wonderful.

It is only GRACE--the Grace of Jesus living in us, soaking us.

We have learned to forgive. Over and over. For the same things.

We have learned to be honest.

We have learned to listen.

And we are not perfect. We have not arrived. We are still learning.

We're still little in this marriage thing.

After medical school, two babies, residency, another baby, new practice, a lost baby, and then twins!, we are still figuring it out. But, we're committed to Him, to each other, and to keeping those promises we vowed to each other nine years ago.

We don't know what the future holds--more foreign lands, more exhaustion, more work, more children?

Dave, I'm looking forward to the "more."

*Photo courtesy of MyMeanderings

Hope

2011-05-26T13:54:00.000-05:00

Hope is a word thrown around nonchalantly and with great ease these days. People use it in reference to the mundane, the political, and the spiritual. Something in us longs for HOPE. If we have not hope, we will surely despair and fall into the deep abyss of depression.

Hope is only as good as its object. We can hope that the weather will be nice on Saturday, but if our hope is placed in the weather, then we may find ourselves severely disappointed when it showers non-stop during our child's baseball game. We can hope that the next President will make all of our wildest dreams come true, but find ourselves disillusioned and disgusted when he turns out to be just another politician. We can hope that the Savior of mankind is going to return, even on a specific date, only to find ourselves empty and victimized because our hope wasn't in Jesus but in a flawed human who happened to be obsessed with numerology.

Hope is only as good as its object.

If you're placing your hope in a method, a weatherman, a formula, a doctor, a lawyer, a president, a government office, a salesman, a spouse, a child, a predicted date, you, my friend, will be disappointed. If you place your HOPE in the Maker of heaven and earth, the One who is "I AM," the Alpha and Omega, the Prince of Peace, the Savior of the World, the King of Kings--you will not be disappointed.

Romans 5:1-5

1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we^a have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we^b rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we^c also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

He is our peace. His glory is our HOPE. Because of this, we can REJOICE in sufferings. Hope does not disappoint because He has poured out His love on us!!!

If you lack HOPE, ask yourself:

Where do I place my hope?

Hope is ONLY as good as its object.

My "Quiet" Life

2011-05-12T09:33:00.000-05:00

We have been busy. I don't like it. I don't like to be going all the time. We have resolved to be still after this weekend. We are going to celebrate Maryn's 5th birthday with our families, and THEN, we will sit still until the end of June.

Maryn turned five on Tuesday of this week. I can't believe it. She is 5. Wow. Time flies when you have a lot of kids! It flies and flies and flies, and I wish sometimes it would slow down. I have tried to make it slow down--spend more time reading with them, playing with them, and cooking with them. Maryn has fewer meltdowns now than she did even a year ago. She is maturing. She is so smart and sweet and nurturing. She loves to color and draw and ride her bike.

We bought her a Hello Kitty! backpack for her birthday. She was thrilled (even though it wasn't a "square backpack with Hello Kitty! on it" but rather a stuffed Hello Kitty! with a zipper for hiding things).

She also loved her strawberry cake with strawberry frosting and a Hello Kitty! on it (even though I forgot the strawberries AROUND Hello Kitty!). She is a details-girl. :)

Lucy is my shadow. If I don't keep her nearby, I can just about guarantee that something will have crayon on it, and if not that, then something will be wet or sticky. She is a messy girl. But, she is funny. And cute. And easy to laugh at. And her grin melts my frustration most of the time.

She is a mile-a-minute-joy-frenzy. I will gladly repaint the interior of this house to enjoy her more--and scold less. Don't get me wrong--she gets her fair share of time-outs and scoldings. I just forget sometimes that she is TWO and not FIVE or SIX. Two year olds are messy. (Must repeat as often as necessary!)

Sam's last day of school is tomorrow! I am so glad! We will keep reading, of course, but we will say farewell to math and structured handwriting until August. I can't believe it--I did it. I taught my son for a whole school year. And he is doing well. SO well. I do not regret keeping him home. He is so imaginative, creative, brilliant, and fun. I have half a mind to get rid of all his toys because he is constantly making toys out of paper and tape. He doesn't need toys!

Sam has struggled with fear (in many arenas) since he was nearly three. We are working on it, but when it rears its ugly head, it isn't so easy to defeat. One day, he was scared of bugs--out of the blue. The next day, he's fine. I looked out the window yesterday and saw all three kids chasing toads that had gotten on the deck. I think there were about four of them hopping all over. I had to grab my camera. No fear of toads!

Felix and Milo are laughing and "talking" to us all the time, now. It's so fun. They are so cute. Their naps are haphazard lately, and that is challenging for me. I just make do and walk away when I get frustrated. They really are amazing babies, though. I couldn't have asked for better babes. They are forever making a fool out of me as I repeatedly do whatever will make them laugh or smile.

I am so blessed.

Sew Inspiring

2011-05-06T10:12:00.001-05:00

Dear friends,

     I know I am largely absent in the bloggerific world these days, but I must tell you about something that I love. One of my friends (who I actually "knew" from church in Tulsa but didn't talk to her until Facebook), Michelle Palmer, has a beautiful oldest daughter (Emma) who cares about people. She is crafty, and you all know how I feel about that! :)

    Emma has started an Etsy shop to raise money for clean water in Uganda! I think this is so amazing and selfless and beautiful. Please support her by either purchasing from her store or making a donation. She's incredibly creative. I love her stuff! I bought an apron from her, and I can't wait to wear it!

     This is a purchase that will never give you buyer's remorse! Go spend some money towards God's heart!

Love,
Amanda

The Littles and The Bigs

2011-04-14T20:55:00.000-05:00

I mentioned the other day that I got some alone time (if home with the twins counts!) Monday night. After Dave and The Bigs left, The Littles and I hung out for a bit. I laid them on my first ever quilt and snapped a few pics. They are growing. But they're still our Littles.

Milo (wearing Sam's old overalls)

Felix (being the chubbiest Geidlbot to date)

This picture makes me laugh. It looks like they're rolling down a hill. Milo's face is hilarious.

So, something I've been wanting to get better at is not worrying about The Bigs getting dirty when they play outside. I don't mind a little dirt here and there, but mudpie dirty is not fun. I hate giving baths. Dave is our bath-giver. But, I want my kids to get to be kids--which means me not hovering over their outside play. I am not much of a helicopter mom in other arenas--just when it comes to more nasty messes I have to clean up. So, today, I refused to hover.

And they delivered the mess.

So, I smiled and got the camera and didn't yell or scold.

I first saw Monkey. He was brownish green. Then I saw Lucy's mud beard.

NASTY.

Maryn was just kind of dusty. Not too shabby.

Sam was intentionally using drops of water from the hose to make mud.

His hands may be a little stained from it.

I gave them a bath.

It wasn't so bad.

I kept a positive attitude and didn't yell or scold.

And we all survived.

Life is not a Big Gulp.

2011-04-12T14:10:00.000-05:00

I miss running. I want to do it. I am going to search for some time to do it. I think it would feel so refreshing right now. Just me, the pavement, and the woods around my house. I just get SO tired...

The babies have started sleeping through the night (well, except for last night, but that was my fault...). This is shocking to me. I have done nothing to encourage this, but it is happening! Both of them! At the same time! I hope it will continue. Maybe then I will have more energy for running. :)

Dave took the big kids with him last night to CR in Conway. I wanted to go, but I knew I just needed to be at home and recharge. I'm discovering that I need more margin in my life. I have not been very scheduled the last five years or so, but now, I am thriving on a schedule. It is the only way I can live well right now. Anyway, I'm realizing that I have to make room for my family, for the things that will bring us peace in our home, for the friends and ministries we want to be a part of (by the way, we've found a local body to worship with!!!), and for myself. I need this.

So, my goals this Spring are to declutter my life--of possessions, of plans, of anything that just makes me BUSY. No more busy work.

Life is NOT an emergency (Ann Voskamp).

It's not. I need to stop living like it is.

I don't need to beat myself up that my kids aren't eating homemade snacks right now.

I need to value my time more and be willing to sacrifice so that my time is best spent.

In fact, I need to nap more. It's next to impossible, but I can make it happen if I will let go of some things.

Life is to savored--sipped, not gulped--and I've been living Life in Big Gulps.

Time to slow down and focus on what matters most--living well for Jesus, for my family, for my friends, and for me. Take time to be healthy...time to be joyful...time to be thankful...time to model this for my children.

Life is NOT a Big Gulp.

Little sips...

Life in the Fast Lane

2011-04-07T14:16:00.000-05:00

I'm going 85 in a 70. That's what it feels like most days. My friend, who also had twins, said she was a robot for about three years.

I am a Geidlbot. How appropriate!

The twins' naps are getting a little more difficult. Felix has a hard time settling down. They're doing that 45 minute wake-up thing that mommies dread. Milo is rolling over and waking himself up.

It's just a phase.

Lucy is pulling poo out of her diaper and smearing it. Yuck. I am pottytraining her now. I have never liked pottytraining, and I still don't. I wish I could just wiggle my nose, and she'd get it. Her speech makes it more difficult to communicate, and that makes the whole process harder. I hope she gets it soon. It is hard to juggle. I do it, but I would prefer not to.

I am not a clown.

I am considering abandoning my blog. The thought makes me wistful, but I feel like my life is too busy or too mundane to blog about. I've lost my fervor, and I think I've lost my audience as well. I'm not really bummed over it, but I'm just not sure enough people read it for me to keep doing it. I don't know. I haven't decided yet...I know I've talked like this before, so we'll see what happens.

Anyway, I am still enjoying my gratitude journal. I've been tested over and over by circumstances that threaten to steal my gratitude and joy. Even as I was cleaning up poo, I was determined to find something to be thankful for...which was, in that instance, that the poo wasn't diarrhea. Gross, I know, but you know, something to be thankful for--just the same.

And the list grows...

#46 The way Jesus heals
#49 Learning to deal with anger
#53 The way Lucy's hair curls on the ends
#57 Sam's explanations
#64 The way the Holy Spirit speaks the same thing to a bunch of people to teach us all as a Body at the same time
#68 Sowing to the Spirit
#71 Maryn's laugh
#72 My kids trying to play the quiet game
#84 Spots of purple, pink, and white in a world of brown and gray
#85 Sunlight sliding on spiderwebs

My Journey To Contentment

2011-03-31T12:31:00.000-05:00

I have seen that a couple of my friends were reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I checked out Ann's blog, and after reading just a few entries, I knew I had to read this book. Desperately needed to read this book. Why?

Because I am a complainer. Discontent. And it flows from my heart to my mind and out my mouth. It's ugly. It has imprisoned me in a state of negativity. The pessimism was so thick, I couldn't see the optimism for the half-empty glasses.

The premise of the book is that it is gratitude that engages us into communion with God. If we can't be thankful in the little things, we aren't worshipping Him, praising Him, or giving Him glory. She began making a list of 1,000 things she loved, and in so doing, she discovered that each was a gift from God, and the mere naming of these things was worship.

I started a journal just for my list.

"Every day, I will reflect on my blessings. I will refuse to complain. I will refuse negativity. I will be thankful. Even when it's hard, I will find that blessing in the pain, the beauty in the ash heap. I will be changed. He will soften my heart. My mind. And my tongue. I will learn to be content."

I've only been keeping my list for six days. But I can already tell a difference. I am not giving my mind free reign. The minute a negative thought arises, I find myself telling it, "No, I will not complain. How can I be thankful instead?" Some of you may have noticed my thanksgiving posts on Facebook. They arose out of this. There are enough bad attitudes and complainers on Facebook. I don't need to make it worse.

And you know what I've discovered?

People like to stop and be thankful. They like the positive. They like not thinking about what is wrong with everything.

#3 Dave coming home every day
#9 Felix's coughing laugh
#17 Bob Ross and "happy trees"
#19 My baby in heaven, only mine for a brief moment, but always God's
#20 The way Felix hold's Milo's hand while nursing or sleeping
#24 A heart that keeps hoping
#26 Having my hands full
#31 Sunshine
#32 Hearing the roll of tricycles on the deck
#37 The Helper who helps me to choose the path of holiness and contentment
#39 Lucy's giggle as she runs back to her bed and me trying not to smile

Wanna join me?

Contemplating The Passion of Jesus

2011-03-23T09:12:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I have come up with something to talk about (we all knew it would happen).

Lately, I've been really thinking about Jesus and the cross. It's appropriate, of course, with Easter just a month or so away. I've always had good intentions to participate in Lent, though I never have. I'm not normally this contemplative.

There's a big controversy in the evangelical sector over a pastor, Rob Bell, and his new book, Love Wins. I don't intend to start an argument here in this post, so please don't do that. I just wanted to say that thinking through the implications of his belief system has had me considering what I believe about the cross and what its purpose was--what Jesus' suffering did, both for Him and for me. He became sin, not just carried it, but He actually BECAME it. I cannot imagine what that must have felt like. I know how I feel when I sin--ashamed, guilty, and burdened by my own depravity. I can't imagine what He felt especially because He had never known it.

I think about how the Bible says He descended INTO hell. Can you imagine? He was the perfect, holy Son of the Living God. He became sin and descended into the place the Father prepared for Satan and his demons. Do you think at that moment that Satan thought he had won the battle? Do you think he rejoiced over Jesus' descent? I can imagine the look on his face when the Holy Spirit raised Him from the dead. Shock. Confusion. Anger.

I don't ever want to be guilty of diminishing His work on the cross. It is central to our Faith. It is faith in this act that redeems us. God forgive me if I have made light of Your holy sacrifice.

I downloaded a free album called Songs for Lent by New York Hymns. You can get it HERE (along with some other GREAT music). It is folky and meditative. I made a playlist for the babies with it because it is so mellow. Each song is for a stage of the cross. As I listen, I am being led through the Passion. Not only is the music great, but the songs have put my heart in a contemplative place. I find myself trying to get inside of Jesus' head and see his thoughts and feelings during that time of suffering.

I have to take the stance that Jesus' death on the cross is relevant to now and the hereafter. I have to believe that He came for a reason. I have to believe that what He did makes all the difference in my life--because I know who I was before HIM. I know that I can't make it on my own. He is so merciful. He is so gracious.

Take some time in this Lenten season and really think about Him--think about His joys, His laughter, His sorrows, His sufferings, His victory! And He did it all for us. Now that's True Love.

The Slacking Blogger

2011-03-22T13:14:00.002-05:00

That is me. I just have precious little time these days. Sorry it has been a long time! And what is sad is that I really don't have a whole lot to talk about. So, here's a picture of my boys, 12 weeks old:

Peas and Carrots

(Felix and Milo)

The onesies were made by my good friend, Megan. Aren't they adorable?

How about this? Ask me some questions so I will have something to help me blog!!!

Ready, set, GO!!!

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Life Goes On

2011-03-07T14:58:00.000-06:00

It's March, and I can hardly believe it. My babies are 10 weeks old today. The last couple of nights they have gone 5.5 hours between feedings. That translates into me getting about 4.5 hours of sleep at once. I have more of a routine these days. If I didn't have a schedule, nothing would happen around here. I'll share it with you though it may bore you to tears.

6:30-7 Wake up and feed the babies (usually).
7-8 Nursing, Burping, Diaper Changing
8 Lay the babies down for naps
8-8:30 Get ready for the day and eat breakfast
8:30-9 Clean up the kitchen and dining room, empty and load the dishwasher, start a load of laundry
9-10 Homeschool
10-11 Nursing, Burping, Diaper Changing
11 Lay the babies down for naps
11-12 Move laundry to dryer, do meal prep for dinner, prepare lunch
12-12:30 Lunch
12:30 Clean up after lunch and get Lucy ready for nap
1--Lay Lucy down for a nap and put her back in bed numerous times
1-2 Nursing, Burping, Diaper Changing
2-4 Somedays I nap, others I crochet or get online, or I watch BBC movies on Netflix (closest thing to "me" time I have)
3--Give kids snacks
4-5 Nursing, Burping, Diaper Changing
5-6 Do whatever needs to be done to ensure dinner is ready by 6.
6-6:30 Dinner
6:30-7 Clean up after dinner
7 Nursing, Burping, Diaper Changing
7-8 Occasional baths, Dave gets the big kids ready for bed and plays.
8-8:30 Showers for me and Dave
8:30-10 We watch TV or Arrested Development on Netflix (or whatever movie we're watching for our project)
10 Nursing, Burping Diaper Changing
3-4 Nursing, Burping Diaper Changing

And it goes on and on. This is my life. Thankfully, I don't mind it; it keeps me sane. It's not easy caring for three kids and newborn twins, but it CAN be done!

So, if you wonder how I do it all, there's my schedule. I don't clean my house (I hired a VERY reasonably priced housekeeper who comes every other week, and I recently had a friend who is helping on the off week so that it doesn't get too out of hand). I'm so thankful I am able to do this. If I wasn't able, I am sure Dave and I would just bust our tails on the weekends.

Life goes on. People say, "I don't know how you do it." It's just like any other difficult thing in life--you just DO IT. We do it because we love these kids--if you don't do it, that's called neglect!!! You just do what you have to do. It could be a lot harder, and I am thankful for how smooth it has been so far. And so you know, you don't have to do it like somebody else--you have got to find your own rhythm. This is what works for us right now.

Ask me in a couple of months, and I'm sure even this will have changed.

We're surviving. And perhaps it is premature, but I think thriving is around the corner.

An Afghan (not a person in this case)

2011-02-25T14:38:00.004-06:00

My aunt's birthday was over a month ago. She is an incredibly generous person and loves to spoil all her nieces and nephews.

The trouble is that she is hard to buy for. I have, in recent years, begun making her gifts. She is the one who taught me to crochet about 8 years ago on our way to my great-aunt's funeral.

I started making this afghan about a year ago. I didn't get very far, and I put it away. I picked it back up in the fall, and I just finished it this week. The majority of it was completed while I was huge and pregnant, unable to do much else.

My aunt loves purple. I found this yarn at the local Walmart. Even though I wouldn't have chosen it for myself, I ended up liking it and thinking it was perfect for her. I mailed it, and she should receive it today!

I love this pattern. It is so simple. My friend, Cinthya, gave it to me a couple of years ago. I found a copy online as well. If you are interested, the link is HERE. The only difference I found from the pattern was that I needed 8 skeins of yarn (and I used Red Heart). This afghan would be a great throw for the back of the couch. Happy stitching!

Our New Bloggy Project

2011-02-19T15:06:00.000-06:00

Dave and I don't have a lot of free time on our hands, especially since the twins arrived. We also don't get to go out much because sitters are hard to come by where we live. If we could go out, we would go to a movie. It is our favorite date. We typically sneak in candy from the dollar store and buy a refillable large drink.

We love movies. But, shamedly, there are MANY classic and greatly heralded films we've never seen. We were talking the other night, and I thought it would be a good idea to remedy that. So, we decided to make a list of movies and watch them and, better still, blog about them! That is exactly what we intend to do.

You can go HERE to see our list and more info about the films we have chosen. We're looking forward to it! Feel free to watch-along and provide your own commentary on the films.

My Wee Valentines

2011-02-14T18:13:00.000-06:00

My heart is full. I never dreamed I would be able to love so many people with so much intensity. They are all so unique and require such different kinds of love. I never tire of their smiles. I am never exasperated by their giggles. Some people are glad not to be me because I have five children, two of them twins. I'm glad they're not me, too. I wouldn't trade this for anything.

I can't imagine my life without my strong and hilarious, Samuel. He brings us so much joy and laughter. His wit and wisdom are evident at an early age. He has a strong sense of justice, and he is the best big brother. He has taught me so much about grace and forgiveness.

Maryn is the child who helped me become a mother--one who knows her baby, one who listens, one who meets her child's needs without trying to fit her into a box. To this day, I cannot put Maryn in a box. She's my sweet, loving, and passionate child.

Sam and Maryn's relationship is so great. Yes, they fight, but they are the best of friends. I can't wait to see them grow older together and watch the bond deepen.

Lucy is our joy-bringer. She brings light and life to our family. She is a constant reminder of God's redemption to me. This little one is going to do mighty things for Him.

Felix means "happy," but so far, he has been pretty fussy. This can only mean one thing--he is an overcomer--a victorious conqueror! I have no doubt he will live up to his name. He is seriously precious, and he makes some of the funniest faces. I have no doubt he will fill our home with strength and laughter. His shifty eyes are my favorite.

Milo has the sweetest spirit. I can't even describe it. I just feel so much sweetness oozing from him when I'm with him. He is mellow and generally content. I have a feeling he is going to be a perfect balance for Felix--strong and supportive and loving. I love his sweet snuggles.

And I don't want to miss any of it.

Snow and Crockpots

2011-02-10T14:21:00.003-06:00

I had a moment, so I thought I would blog a bit.

We've had major snow here. I think we got 9"--that's huge for our area. We never usually get more than 4". I love being at home, but I love it even more when it snows. I haven't felt "cabin fever" or any of that. I'm sure it has something to do with a) living in the country already and being used to staying at home and b) having newborn twins and not wanting to go anywhere anyways!

I'm cooking these days since I've used up most of the frozen meals I had. I'm still dairy-free, caffeine-free, and chocolate-free. I've needed to find meals that fit my diet and my husband's (South Beach--low carb). But, on top of our dietary needs, I have needed to find FAST, EASY, and DELICIOUS meals--a lot to ask for, I know. I have turned to my trusty crockpot. It has been great. I am using recipes from this blog--A Year of Slow-Cooking. I love it!

Here are a few of the recipes we are trying:

Peanut Butter Chicken (loved it)
Indian Chicken (will substitute the cream with coconut milk)
Chicken Enchilada Chili
Thai Beef

Let me know if you have any recipes that fit my criteria!

Time and Treasure

2011-02-07T22:49:00.001-06:00

My days often run together, and I lose track of what day it is. What I can tell you is that:

•my children have been living in pajamas around the clock.

•none of us are missing meals.

•there have been very few baths for the children, but Dave and I manage to shower every night.

•we listen to music all night long because the twins seem to like it.

•I have recently resumed kitchen and laundry duty.

•I don't have time to take pictures let alone upload them and order prints, so I have family members who have yet to see the twins (they don't have Internet).

•I get lots of sweet snuggles.

•I have been getting a nap many days.

•My boys are growing--both have gained over three pounds in their first month.

•even if I don't have hard copied daily documentation (i.e. Photos) of our babies, we have surely been treasuring our time with them.

•however, my friend, Joanna, visited and took a ton of pictures of my family, and I am so glad. Someday I will try to add to the collection. :)

•most people are going stir-crazy with cabin fever due to the snowstorms. I have been pretty well homebound since the twins were born, but I like it.

The end

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

And Then There Were Two: Our Twin Birth Story

2011-01-21T16:41:00.013-06:00

We made it through Christmas without me going into labor. I was so thankful. I didn't want to miss celebrating Christmas with my older children, and I most certainly did not want to miss celebrating Sam's 6th birthday that evening.

Sunday came, and all was fine. That afternoon, the contractions began. They were irregular but painful. I talked to my midwife, and she suggested a glass of wine to calm my uterus. I had half a glass, and they calmed briefly. I tried to rest just in case this was the real thing. The contractions continued all night, and I barely slept. They were not getting any more regular, but they were still painful, and my back was killing me. I would just about doze off, and then another would come, and I would time it, only to be disappointed that it was not regular.

I had made it to 37 weeks and 4 days. With twins, it is recommended that you make it to at least 37 weeks for their safety. I was nervous about going into labor, though, because we live 75 minutes from the hospital and the babies had not been in the right positions at the last ultrasound. My last labor with Lucy was about 4.5 hours, and it would be dangerous for me to go into labor with the babies in the transverse position (sideways).

I had an appointment that Monday morning anyway, so Dave loaded up the van with all our stuff--just in case--and we headed to Little Rock. My doctor's partner saw me (my doctor was on vacation), and she said I had progressed a little, but not much. She sent us to the hospital for observation.

I really hoped that they would do an ultrasound and discover that Felix was head down. I really wanted to hear that--if not, I had a c-section scheduled for Thursday. I desperately wanted to avoid it. Once I had experienced a natural birth with Lucy, nothing else would satisfy.

Dave wheeled me into labor and delivery, and I heard a mother screaming in pain as she labored. I was excited to hear someone delivering without drugs. A nurse at the counter said, "Don't mind the squealing." I was disgusted at her word choice and her obvious disdain for the patient. Another nurse chimed in, "Yeah, that's what you get when you don't have an epidural!"

"I think she's doing a GREAT job," said I, unable to even look the nurse in the eye because I was so irritated. How unprofessional!!!

Well, the unprofessional nurse turned out to be MY nurse. Ugh. I was a bit snippy with her and not very warm or engaging. I did NOT want to have my babies here!!! I did not want unsupportive staff! She hooked me up to the monitors and everything, and I was still contracting. My back was miserable. She began asking the pile of questions. I answered them. She then asked, "If you will be having a vaginal delivery, will you be having an epidural?"

"No," I replied.

"Have you ever had an epidural before?" she went on.

"Yes, with my first two children," I responded.

"Oh, so you went natural with the third?" she pried.

"Yes, I did."

I think now she may have had a clue as to why I didn't agree with their comments back at the nurse's station. She finally left us alone.

My friend, Marla, was in town for Christmas, and she wrote on my facebook, "You better have those babies while I'm in town so I can come see them!" I didn't even know she was around! I called her and told her what was up. She came up to the hospital and hung out with us while we were waiting around. I had no idea what kind of blessing she was going to be for me that day.

My doctor came in to check on us, and he decided to go ahead and do an ultrasound.

Both boys were BREECH. BOTH.

My heart sank.

This meant one thing only--a c-section.

Then, the doctor asked us what we wanted to do--have one today or wait the three days for the scheduled one? After all, the chances of Felix turning at all at this point were slim to none. I hem-hawed for a minute because I just couldn't say it. I looked at Dave and asked, "What do you think?" Neither of us wanted to say it.

Finally, I said it, "I guess we'll do it today."

After all, our kids were already being cared for, we were in Little Rock, I was approaching labor though I wasn't technically in labor. Labor with breech twins over an hour from the hospital was not a favorable scenario. We would just be turning around to do it in three days anyway.

It was the right thing to do in our situation.

But I still hated it.

And I was scared.

But, God had prepared a plan--a GOOD plan--in advance.

My midwife had flown to California to be with her daughter for a few days, and she planned to return in time for my scheduled c-section. Even though I wasn't having a vaginal delivery, I wanted her to be there so that I would have support while having surgery. She would stay with me while Dave was with the babies. But, since we had decided to go ahead with the early section, she would not be able to be present.

But Marla could be!

I asked her if she would stay for the surgery. She was ecstatic, and she said that she would. I encourage you to read Marla's story sometime, but suffice it to say, she was the BEST person I could have with me (next to my husband, of course!!!) during the surgery.

We were scheduled to have the surgery at 4:30pm. Around 4, Dave and Marla suited up for surgery, and I started to freak out. My mind was a playground for fear. It was overwhelming. I was so nervous about the surgery. I started feeling claustrophobic and anxious. I couldn't be still. Finally, close to 6pm, they came to get me. I had mentioned to Dave that we could just leave. We didn't HAVE to stay!

I got prepped for the surgery, and I felt like I had been abducted by aliens. I'll spare you the gory details, but I will say that lying on a table for the world to see with bright lights above and a bunch of masked people around staring at you is definitely otherworldly and added to my fear and anxiety.

They had to keep giving me more medicine in the epidural because I still had some "hot spots" on my belly where I had sensation. That was a little unsettling! Because they upped my dosage so much, I began shaking uncontrollably, just as I had with my epidurals with Sam and Maryn (which was the first of many reasons I had a natural birth with Lucy). They tried to blame it on the fact that I was giving birth, but I knew better. I didn't have that awful full body shaking with Lucy. They tried counter-acting it with Demerol. I would get temporary relief, but then it would start up again. One anesthesiologist was super sweet and reassuring. I appreciated him.

The boys came out crying and healthy. I don't remember many details, but they did show me the babies. Thankfully, there are pictures that Marla and Dave took so I have proof! Dave said I seemed really subdued and not quite myself while I was in there. I kept remembering a story someone told me about a surgery they had, and unfortunately, his anesthesia didn't work. An angel (he supposes) appeared to him and said, "The kingdom of heaven lies within; go within!" I kept repeating the phrase in my mind, over and over, and just hid myself in the secret place with Jesus. I was so scared, but thinking about Him being with me calmed me.

Felix and Me

Milo and Me

Marla cried out, "NICU is leaving!" I felt relief wash over me to know my babies were healthy. Felix's APGAR was 8/9 and Milo's was 9/9. I was so thankful.

Felix and Milo

Marla stayed right next to me, distracting me while I was being sewn up. Dave stayed with the babies. I was most brokenhearted about not getting to hold my babies right away, next to my skin. But the next best thing was that their daddy was right there with them.

Before I knew it, everything was done, and they moved me to a bed to wheel me back to my recovery room. Evidently, I held the babies as I was wheeled back.

The next couple of hours is a blur. Marla says I kept telling the anesthesiologist that "I loved my natural birth," over and over. That makes me laugh! I don't remember it at all.

I did get to nurse the boys--at the same time, and it was beautiful. They were so alert, and from the start until now, they have been nursing non-stop! They were not sleepy like my other babies had been, only eating once or twice the first day--nope, they ate every 2 hours (or less than 2!).

I was glad when the fog began to clear for me, and I could enjoy my boys. Dave has been my true partner. I never have to wonder if he's going to help me with breastfeeding or diaper changes or soothing sad babies. He jumps in with both feet. I am so thankful he is a hands-on daddy.

The boys are growing SO well. They are getting big--FAST. In the first two weeks, Felix gained 1.5 lbs and Milo gained 1.25 lbs! They are not identical, and we have been able to tell them apart since the 2nd day of their life (the 1st day was a little harder!).

Milo and Felix

Felix (happy, blessed, fortunate) Josiah (fire of the Lord; healer) was the firstborn--smaller than Milo, but definitely a firstborn. He's been fussier than Milo and more tense. He has deep set eyes, and he makes the funniest face where his eyes move back and forth. We call him "Shifty Eyes." He is so sweet and has a tiny head. He is a BLESSING from the Lord, and he is part of the healing God has done in our hearts after losing a baby last year.

Felix Josiah

Milo (merciful and generous) Zane (God is gracious) was our secondborn. He is a chunk. Geidl babies are long and skinny, and we've yet to have one that is a roly-poly butterball. I don't know if Milo will be that baby, but he is getting heavy!!! His cheeks might weigh a couple of pounds by themselves! He's generally pretty content and quiet, but the last week, he has showed us he can scream with the best of 'em! His hair is reddish (not nearly as red as Samuel's, but definitely reddish) and he looks a lot like Samuel did as a baby. He is such a gift of mercy and grace--not just one baby but TWO!!! Milo was our second blessing in this pregnancy--the gift we didn't expect. He is a picture of restoration for us.

Milo Zane

Thank you for supporting us prayerfully in our journey. Please continue to do so!!!

They're Here!!!

2011-01-04T21:29:00.000-06:00

...as of two weeks ago. Sorry, blogging is not a priority at the moment. But, I figured I shouldn't leave you hanging any longer.

Felix (left) Milo (right)

No time for the birth story now, but I did have a cesarean birth on Monday, December 27th at 37 weeks, 4 days.

Felix Josiah
6 lbs. 12 oz.
19.5 inches
6:35pm

Milo Zane
7 lbs. 5 oz.
19.5 inches
6:36 pm

All is well. They are not identical for all who are wondering. We are tired, but we are happy and blessed. How could we not be???

Having a Heart Like Mary

2010-12-24T10:23:00.006-06:00

Though I don't really classify myself into a Christian denomination, I have grown to love so many different traditions and can appreciate the roots of my faith. In recent years, I have really come to respect Catholicism. I was raised a Protestant, and honestly, I was taught that there were very few Catholics who really knew God. I look at that now and laugh because I have come to know so many who know Him!

I don't fully know or understand all of the Catholic teachings about Mary, but I have learned this: I have not given Mary the respect she deserves as a hero of the faith. It's easy to praise people like Moses, or Paul, or Abraham, but Mary is often overshadowed in Protestant circles.

I had the rare opportunity to identify with Mary when I gave birth to Samuel on Christmas Day. I know that December 25th isn't really the day Jesus was born, but I still found myself thinking through Mary's experience in becoming a mother to the Son of God. I understood the special feelings she probably had--being pregnant, knowing that the baby who would be born was special, knowing that she would one day have to give Him up. As I looked at Samuel, I knew that motherhood was special, and how much MORE special it was for her.

This year, I am pregnant with twin boys, Felix and Milo. I was 37 weeks yesterday, and I am so grateful that I have had a healthy pregnancy and made it to term with them. I have been struggling in my heart, though, because it is quite possible I may have a c-section. I know c-sections aren't a big deal for a lot of people. I know that people often recover quickly and well from them. I know that in the grand scheme of my life, it isn't that big of a deal. I know that it is a beautiful experience for the mommies who have them. I can't downplay the experiences of others. I KNOW it's okay, so don't feel a need to convince me of it.

But, natural birth is very important to me. It is one of my passions. It is something I have devoted time and research to, something I have experienced, and something I think women should be educated about.

In dealing with my own disappointments concerning my birthing experience, I am being taught of the Lord. He is showing me today that I can trust Him no matter the outcome. I can say like Mary, "I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled." (Luke 1:38) Mary humbly accepted the Lord's will for her--to bear the Son of God while yet a virgin engaged to be married.

Mary had to sacrifice to carry Jesus. She could have said, "No, I don't think I want to do this. I'm not willing, and I don't want to ruin my reputation or my upcoming marriage. It's not convenient, and I have my whole life ahead of me." Instead, she proclaimed herself the servant of the Lord, and she welcomed the fulfillment of the angel's words.

She said, "Yes, Lord. Your will be done."

I, too, have been chosen for this. God knew these boys before I even knew they existed in my womb. He has had plans for them before the foundation of the earth. He knit them together in my body and knows them intimately. Every mother has to make a sacrifice when it comes to childbirth--whatever the form. Mine may be the pain of natural childbirth, or it may be surgery and recovery. Either way, there is a sacrifice involved (not to mention the sacrifices of caring for children!). Am I going to walk into it with a willing heart or a begrudging one?

Will I choose to have a heart like Mary's that welcomes whatever may come? Or will I demand my own way, my own timing, my own experience? I do not know what will happen. I do not know if I will get to have a natural birth or a c-section. But, I do know that His ways are higher than mine. His words for me are for good and not evil. He will not lead me down a hard path without providing the grace I need to walk it with Him.

Today, I choose Mary's response. I pray I will do the same tomorrow and each day so that I can say with full confidence, "My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name." (Luke 1:46-49)

Third Time Is Not So Charming

2010-12-21T11:29:00.002-06:00

The house was relatively quiet. The kids were all playing with toys or watching PBS. Then, I prompted the older two to run upstairs to get dressed so we would be ready to leave for a Christmas party.

"Mom, Lucy's hair is all wet," Sam called down from their room.

Perplexed, I heaved my 9 month twin pregnant body, complete with cankles and marshmallow feet, out of my chair and made my way upstairs to investigate. The bathroom door was closed and had the childproof doorknob cover on it, so I knew she hadn't been playing in there. I get into their room, and I saw her wet head and couldn't figure out how in the world she managed it. I then realized what it was.

It wasn't water.

This was not the first time I had seen this.

In fact, this had happened in our house TWICE before.

It was Vaseline. Vaseline in her soft, fine baby hair.

This is a mommy nightmare.

This is a 9 month twin pregnant mommy's seventh level of hell.

You see, this happened twice before with Maryn. Sam had found Vaseline and smeared it into her baby fine hair when she was about 12 months. I even blogged about it here. The first time, I took a picture and tried to be calm about it. The second time, I just got mad. I learned to put the Vaseline on a tall shelf out of sight.

Three and a half years have passed, and just this morning, I saw Vaseline in their room and quickly grabbed it and put it away in the bathroom closet on a high shelf.

But she found ANOTHER container in the twins' room (which was closed, but the door must not have been fully latched) and smeared it all over her head and all over their dresser and a few toys (that I know of...there may yet be more).

So, I sent Sam to grab the camera, and I determined to be calm while I got down on the bathroom floor and attempted to wash her long hair with baking soda, dish soap, and baby soap.

Lucy prior to her bath-her hair is NOT wet. That is just the vaseline.

Unfortunately, she is a greaseball.

And thankfully, we aren't having Christmas family portraits taken.

Has It Been Over A Week?

2010-12-15T16:23:00.003-06:00

Wow, I stopped by my blog to look at my sidebar and see what was new with everyone, and I discovered that I haven't updated in 8 days. Sheesh. Sorry about that. My midwife says I have "placenta brain." Sounds kind of gross.

Well, I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow. I had a good visit with the doctor on Monday. Everything looked good--blood pressure, heartbeats, unchanged cervix. So, I really don't have anything to report--unless you want me to talk about the pain in my pelvis...

I can't believe I've made it this far already. I know for sure that my boys will be here within a month. The doctor definitely won't let me go over 40 weeks, and if these little boogers don't move, then they'll most likely be here by the end of the year. So, really, they could be here in 2 weeks. That's crazy.

I'm not really nesting. I had a spot of it a couple of weeks ago and got everything washed (with Em's help--she's my housekeeper) and ready for the room that they won't use for a while! :) When I think about what I need to do, it overwhelms me, so I just tell myself everything will work out. My, how I have changed!

Here's my mental list:

Make a list of all the people who have volunteered to help and organize the days/numbers so they can be called in for reinforcements.
Install the car seats in the van and make sure that Lucy's seat will actually fit in the rear seat with Sam's and Maryn's booster seats.
If the above doesn't work, I guess we need to look for an alternative??? God altered physics for us when we put three in the backseat of our Acura Legend (one infant carseat with a base, a convertible car seat, and a booster seat); we're praying He does it again!!!
Pack a bag for the hospital.
Have definite child care arrangements in place.
Revise the birth plan.
Have a sheet explaining the kids' schedule and favorite foods and where things are located.

Will I actually accomplish these? I do not know. But, at least it's a start!

Sacrificing Plans for Peace

2010-12-07T17:22:00.003-06:00

I went in for my ultrasound yesterday to check out the boys' sizes and positions. Well, the little boogers have both gone transverse (that's sideways...and babies don't come out sideways, just so you know). There is still time for them to move, and my OB/Gyn friend told me that transverse is the most unstable position. Sooooooo, I am praying at least Felix will move into a head down (vertex) position.

Their measurements were funny to me because the margin of error is now up to 1 lb. :) There are some doctors out there that will make decisions to induce or c-section a baby based on their size from the ultrasound. That is not wise. Find a different doctor if your doctor does that! The margin of error is too great! And...off the soapbox. Anyway, Felix measured 5 lbs. 9 oz, and Milo measured 5 lbs. 14 oz. So technically, they are somewhere between 4.5 and 7 lbs. That's a big window!!! Either way, they're growing well, and I'm thankful.

I am retaining a lot of fluid, but my blood pressure has been consistently great and there was no protein in my urine. I'm just huge. I measured about 41.5 cm at 34.5 weeks. And I gained 12 lbs in 2.5 weeks!!!!! Crazy. Like I said, I'm retaining fluid....and the babies measured two lbs. bigger than they did a month ago! Just crazy.

As for plans, anything could happen. Anything. It is a bit unsettling to realize that any scenario could take place. They could both turn vertex, and I could have a vaginal delivery. Felix could turn vertex, and I could deliver him vaginally, but if they're unable to get Milo to turn, then I could have him breech...unless he won't come out breech and something goes wrong, and then I could have an emergency c-section. Or...neither one turns, I go into labor, get to the hospital and have an ultrasound and head to c-section, or neither turns, and I will have a scheduled c-section on Dec. 30th when I am 38 weeks.

Too many scenarios to think about.

This is stretching for me. I like to be in control, and I'm not. I've lived under the illusion often in life that I am, but I'm not. Maybe you do that too. I don't know, but one thing is certain--Jesus loves me.

That's right. Jesus loves me. As I was praying over this situation yesterday, I asked Him to speak to my heart the truth it needed to hear, and what He said came in the words of one of my favorite songs, "I am my Beloved's and He is mine, so come into Your garden and take delight in me, take delight in me...Here in your presence, God, I find my rest; here in your presence, God."

No matter what is going on around me, I can find my peace and my rest in Him. He loves me, delights in me, and wants me to rest in Him and enjoy Him.

I am really okay with that.

Just checkin' in.

2010-12-02T16:01:00.002-06:00

Wish I had more to say. I am checking in to say, "Hello!" and then I will disappear again for a bit.

I am really tired. My friend, Tina, helped me make up five different meals today, and we did double portions and froze half. I am EXHAUSTED. It was really wonderful though, both to see her and visit and get so much accomplished today.

I think I am going to hold off on extra cooking for now. I'm too big to be on my feet for this long at a time. I am estimating that I have about 17 meals in my deep freeze for now. This will come in handy once the delivered meals have ended.

I am feeling alright. I have made it to 34 weeks today. I am praying for 3 more. I slept better last night than I have in awhile. The boys moved somehow off of my pelvis and I don't feel as much pain there. That is a blessing. I go to the doctor, ultrasound, and midwife on Monday, so I'll have more news then as to how things are going. I appreciate your prayers.

Well, it is time for me to go supervise the kids as they clean up their room. The house helpers will come tomorrow; I can't wait. I am going to kick back.

Adios!

Advent Calendar Tutorial

2010-11-25T13:00:00.005-06:00

Advent calendars have been around for about 200 years. They were first used by German Lutherans in the early 1800s. In fact, check out the article on Wikipedia.

Funny enough, the advent calendar I made was based on one I borrowed from my friend Cinthya's mother-in-law, who is Lutheran! I believe she told me she had gotten it from someone at church, but I cannot remember for sure.

I have put together a tutorial here. It is on Google
Docs. Let me know if you have trouble viewing or downloading it. I have included instructions on how to make the calendar, pictures of the symbols and the devotionals that go along with them. I hope you find it informative and easy to do. :)

I Finally Did It!

2010-11-23T15:16:00.000-06:00

I have had grand plans and ideas for blogging. I have had intentions of taking lots of pictures of my cute kids. But, there is something in the way--my belly. It is big. It is cumbersome. It is very limiting.

Quite frankly, I am ready for it to shrink. However, my boys need to stay snug a bit longer. On Thanksgiving Day, I will be 33 weeks. That is hard to believe. Christmas is just around the corner, and I have missed doing all the traditional baking and making from years past. You may recall how industrious I have been before--like last year with the tree skirt. Follow this link to read about that--
http://geidlbots.blogspot.com/2009/12/tis-season-to-be-making.html

I haven't been completely uncreative this season. I did learn a little knitting, and I knitted two soft baby washcloths for Felix and Milo.

I also determined that I would make an advent calendar. I have tried to accomplish this for three years.

Well, I finally did it, and it matches my tree skirt. Here's proof!!!

It is based on a pattern my friend's mother-in-law has. She let me borrow her calendar, and I copied it, just with different colors. Dave did the lettering freehand (thank God I have an artistic husband!). There are advent symbols in each pocket. Those were fun to cut out! I hot glued safety pins on each symbol so they can be attached to the front of the pockets. Each day, there are devotionals to discuss the meaning of the symbol and to turn our eyes to Jesus, the reason we celebrate this wonderful holiday!

I will hopefully be able to post more pics as we put the symbols up. Maybe I can do the devos too. But hurray!!! I finally did it!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Birthweek 2010 Conclusion

2010-11-16T12:14:00.004-06:00

Dave outdid himself. But I'm super thankful he did. I've been wanting one of these for several years now.

He got me a new camera--the Nikon D3000. It's perfect for me because it fits my skill level without being too extravagant (though it costs more than a point and shoot). I am so thankful and blessed, and I can't wait to learn my way around it. I'm thankful I'm familiar with manual settings because I intend to use them frequently.

I think now that I have a better camera, you will be seeing more pictures on my blog again. I quit for awhile because it was so hard with my old camera--the focus was janky, and the picture quality was not great. It was just not so nice. :)

And, no, I was not surprised about this gift...like I said before, he's not sneaky enough for this lady.

My Husband Isn't Perfect...and neither is yours.

2010-11-15T07:28:00.005-06:00

My husband, Dave, is a lot of things--an artist, a poet, task-oriented, tall, strong, funny, sweet, handsome, unsneaky, hard-working, kind, a good father, and a man who wants to be like Jesus.

But he's not perfect.

I could list his flaws here probably more quickly than I typed his strengths (mostly because we, as humans, tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive). Your spouse probably isn't too different from mine--full of good qualities but not perfect. This is NORMAL. My husband may be strong where yours is weak or weak where yours is strong. So, really, there is no use in comparing them, right?

Regardless of our spouse's strengths and weaknesses, we are called to love them, honor them, and respect them--even when they fail. I have been guilty of focusing on the negative too many times in my marriage. I know I'm not alone in this. It helps to know that the picture people paint of their spouse is not the FULL picture (either way!)--hopefully, we do a better job presenting them in their best light rather than displaying all of their flaws for the world to see.

So, in lieu of my husband's strengths, I want to share with you about my birthday. Early on in our marriage, my husband quickly figured out that I expected a thoughtful birthday--he didn't have to spend a bunch of money--he just had to be thoughtful. One year, he started a tradition. It is my favorite time of the year--not because it is about me (okay, maybe a little bit.), but because it shows me how thoughtful my husband can be. He started what he calls "Birthweek."

This year is Birthweek 2010. It has been a blast so far, and tomorrow, it will conclude on my birthday. He gives me a gift each day leading up to my birthday. They are usually small, inexpensive gifts, and then his final gift on my birthday is usually a bit more (but some years he has spent more than normal). Some years, he has even gotten creative in the discovery of the gifts--a scavenger hunt or a box he made with different compartments for each day. To help me remember this year, I am posting a log of his gifts from each day, and tomorrow I will post his final gift (which I think I know because he's not sneaky enough).

Day 1: My favorite candy--Junior Mints (this is always the Day 1 gift)

Day 2: Wifi in our house--(we live out in the sticks and it is hard to do a lot on our iPhones because we have such poor signals and no 3G--so this gift was really for both of us, but still very thoughtful!)

Day 3: Nasal spray (this is a funny one because I've had so many allergy issues with this pregnancy, so he actually got me a prescription nasal spray to help!)

Day 4: A spa pedicure for me and a friend (this was an awesome gift--especially since I can't reach my feet without hurting myself)

Day 5: Aveda Rosemary Mint Shampoo and Conditioner (he knows what I like!)

Day 6: Robert Ludlum's Bourne trilogy (the books--I've wanted to read them for several years. I love the movies, and I hear the books are even better...of course!)

Thank you, Dave, for being thoughtful, for listening to me talk, for paying attention to my likes and dislikes, for celebrating me all week long. I feel special and loved, and I love you even though you're not perfect. Thanks for loving me--even with all my thorns. You're a winner.

Look for tomorrow's post for my final gift!!!

(All pictures were not taken by me--all online images.)

I Need YOUR Expertise!

2010-11-10T07:47:00.002-06:00

I am contemplating spending a day in the kitchen (hopefully with some friends) cooking and freezing meals to fill my freezer for the zombie days ahead. It's not really an apocalyptic thing, I just know that the friends delivering meals thing won't last forever. Sigh.

So, here's what I need from YOU:

Any food freezing tips
What kind of containers do you use?
Do you thaw food prior to cooking it or do you cook it frozen?
What about soups? How do you thaw/reheat those?
Is it better to have completely cooked a meal before freezing it or partially?
Anything else you can think of?
How long should a meal stay in the freezer?
Any special products that have made food freezing better for you?

I am not much of a food freezer. We typically eat leftovers for days if a meal made too much for us. I am hoping to start freezing those leftovers as well to add to our stores (plus I'm a little tired of leftovers!). I have cooked up ground meat and frozen that ahead of time as well as onions, peppers, that sort of thing.

Any advice in this department is appreciated!!!!

My Quiet Life

2010-11-07T07:48:00.003-06:00

It's cold. It is 28 degrees. I am wearing socks--this is monumental. Socks typically make my feet hot, and then my whole body overheats (even if I'm not pregnant). This has only been happening to me for a few years-kinda strange.

Our leaves have turned and are halfway gone. It's time to get warm and cozy and stay in the house--thankfully, I now enjoy this part of life.

There are a few new things with us:

I sprained my foot last weekend. It still hurts to walk on it, and there is still some swelling--not much, but enough that it makes my shoe too tight. There are some pretty purple and blue bruises on it as well. Festive.
Baby A (Felix) is now breech. He flipped. We are praying he flips back over or I will be having a c-section. I have heard some stories of twins with the first breech that turned out alright, but I've also heard otherwise. Bottom line: my doctor doesn't feel comfortable with it, and he is comfortable with breech deliveries--just not with the first twin. So, if you would, pray that Felix turns over. Either way, things will turn out alright, but it is hard to deal with the reality of it all. I'm getting there--slowly.
My emotions are out of control. Steer clear.
I wish my body wasn't so cumbersome right now; I would love to be taking walks in this fine weather. Instead, I just look out the window. When I walk, I feel like Godzilla or Frankenstein. In fact, we had to do some grocery shopping last night, and for the first time ever, I drove a motorized cart. It was great.
My life is quieter now than it has ever been in the friendship department. This isn't a bad thing, although it is an adjustment. I'm learning with this codependency thing how often I was turning to friends for fulfillment instead of Christ. I have by no means arrived, but I am catching myself about to pick up the phone, and then I will stop and take it to Him first. It isn't easy. I am thankful for my friends who have let me "get it all out," but I am even more thankful that they aren't assuming His place in my life.
I've purged my facebook a couple of times to either get rid of those I never talk to or those who try to fix me. It's been good so far. I am also being much more reserved in accepting friend requests from people that I don't really know that well or people that I don't think need to be seeing so much of what I say. :)
My husband has been working extremely long hours (especially for someone who is finished with his training!), and it is wearing on all of us. I am thankful that in a month or so, his nurse practitioner will return from maternity leave and lighten the load a little bit. We've had some disturbing news about his call schedule for the next year, and we're praying for God to send some relief. We need relief in so many areas...
We have decided to look for a different body of believers. Things were pretty crazy where we were at, and we didn't have peace about staying in that kind of environment. We felt things were not being handled in a Biblical manner, and we don't feel like it is a healthy place to be. We love the people we connected with and will continue to love them.

It is quiet, Dave is off for the first day in a few weeks, so I am going to go drink something decaf and hot next to him on the couch while he plays a game on his phone. ;)

What We're Doing

2010-10-28T16:29:00.004-05:00

What we're doing about Halloween:

We aren't the celebratory type when it comes to scary stuff, so we are buying some candy, stuff for s'mores, and we're building a bonfire in our yard. We're gonna veg out with our kids and make ourselves a little sick with sweets. You are welcome to join us.

What we're doing about getting ready for babies:

We are buying a bunch of stuff. We haven't registered anywhere--too much hassle. We've got our carseats which is huge. We are contemplating having them in the pack and play in our room, but it won't fit well on the side of the bed. Anyone want to make me a cradle? I didn't want to pay $150 for a bassinet. Will be checking into co-sleepers as a cheaper alternative. I've got sheets, mattress pads, towels, washcloths. What do we need? Clothes. And I need to buy the rest of the cloth diapers I will need. I'll use disposables until they're about 8-9 lbs. I guess we need those too.

What we're doing for my birthday?

Ask Dave. He better come up with something good. :) Look out 31.

And Lucy's birthday???

I'm planning a party for her a few days before OUR birthday. Yes, we share our birthday. So, party for her, and I get Birthweek 2010.

What we're doing for Thanksgiving:

Dave's mom and grandma are coming to cook. Dave is on call. I plan on watching the parade.

What we're doing about Sam's Christmas Birthday:

Well, it all depends on when these boys arrive. I would like to have a party for Sam with some of his friends a few weeks before Christmas. I'll be 37 weeks on Dec. 23rd, so I could have babies by Christmas Day or maybe not! I have no clue. This one is being played by ear. As is Christmas. I am planning on a fake tree this year because it may be a while before we're able to take one down. :)

What we're doing about Christmas gifts:

I don't know. We're thinking donations to charities in people's names. We did this one year before, and we didn't get much reaction...don't know if that was good or bad! Whatever we do, it's gotta be simple.

What we're doing about staying sane:

We are taking life one day at a time--with as much pre-planning as possible! :) No, really, we are not worrying and fretting over how things are going to go once our darlings are born. We are learning to be content and trust our Father to provide what we need in terms of help and sleep and childcare. We are trying to enjoy our time with our three children before life gets crazy. We are hoping we can stay focused on our Father and His love in the midst of all of these changes. He has been so good and faithful and kind to us, and we are so thankful for Him.

A Spider and a Rooster and Delighting in God

2010-10-25T07:25:00.005-05:00

I have felt a tad bit guilty as of late concerning my lack of inspiration and worship to the Creator for nature. I see so many of my lovely homeschooling friends who enjoy nature with their children and worship Jesus in it. I would love to do this.

But I don't like being hot, being cold, bugs, itchiness, or cleaning up dirty children.

I like to observe nature...from afar.

This isn't entirely true. I love hiking. Of course, that is OUT OF THE QUESTION at this stage of my pregnancy. My body is aching after a trip to the grocery store. I have climbed a few mountains in my day--big ones--14,000 ft. peaks (and a little smaller). I like to run outside. I hate treadmills. I like to go out on the lake. I like to watch the sunrise. I like to listen to Rich Mullins sing "The Color Green." I don't hate nature.

It's just I don't love everything that comes with it. I like creature comforts--bug spray, central heat and air, and someone else to clean up the mess.

What I've discovered is that I am starting to get attached to little creatures. I never touch them, but I watch them and feel even protective over them (perhaps this is merely part of the maternal nesting instinct).

We had a garden spider outside our front window for a couple of months this summer. She was beautiful--black, yellow, and white. She laid TWO egg sacs, each the size of a cherry. One of them is attached to our window screen. I researched her online to find out all about her life cycle and what would happen to her babies. The site I read said she would die at the end of September, and her babies would hatch in the Spring. Sure enough, she did die. I found myself a little sad, missing her there in the window. It was such a joy to watch her catch bugs and spin her webs.

She was our own personal "Charlotte." And like Wilbur, we are protectively guarding her egg sacs.

There's also a rooster who belongs to our neighbors across the street. He spends a lot of his time pecking bugs in our yard. I don't mind. He has a healthy fear of humans and doesn't bother us. He is friends with our dog. This may be the very same rooster I was complaining about a few months back--the one who crowed ALL NIGHT LONG. He's since stopped that (and we got new windows). My mother-in-law's dog chased the rooster on Friday, and I thought she caught him and was going to kill him (it turned out she caught a hen instead, who did escape, but not without wounds). Everything in me was angry and protective of the rooster (I'm not attached to the hens, but I still felt awful about her attack).

I realized after the attack that I do care about this animal--one I've only observed and never touched. I did poke an umbrella in his direction once, but that is the closest I've gotten to him. I find this all very odd.

But, I'm thankful that during this season of homebodiness, I am able to worship the Lord and His creativity by taking wonder in these creatures, loving them, even a smidge. I'm not able to hike. I'm not able to go on safari, and I'm sure not able to travel anywhere super beautiful like lovely Colorado, but I am thankful for the beauty He's brought to me--right to my window, next to my chair, for me to watch and worship Him--

without even realizing it.

The Anticipation of The Push

2010-10-18T13:47:00.005-05:00

I miss running. This weather makes me want to get outside and run. It's so nice and beautiful most days. I miss having that goal to accomplish--the way I had to push myself a little farther and quicker each run. I miss the quietness of it as well as the pounding rhythms in my earbuds.

These days I spend mostly sitting. My stomach is swollen and large and disproportionate to my body. Little wiggles on the inside remind me that this is a temporary existence. Soon, I will be cuddling two sweet little boys, nursing them, patting them, shushing them, rocking them, and letting them fall asleep on my chest.

While I wait, I dream about Springtime and how my body will be ready to be challenged again. I am eager for this, but I don't rush it. I want to drink in these moments before they're gone--flip flops in my belly, hiccups in my belly, babies bouncing and growing and getting stronger in my belly. I will soon be pushing myself and my body will be challenged in childbirth with a pounding rhythm all its own--not even running compares with that.

So, for now, I am content to be still. The challenge nears, and I am ready.

4 Loads of Sick Laundry...and counting.

2010-10-10T09:13:00.003-05:00

This week has been exhausting. I had an appointment with the OB on Thursday which entailed a 10 hour day for the kids and me. All is well. My iron and glucose are fine, the babies are growing fine, and there is nothing alarming going on. The highlight of the day was hanging out with my college friend, Amanda. It was fun to be with her if only for a little bit. I love that about old friends--you don't have to try; they already know you!!! Plus, she taught me some knitting, and that is great.

Lucy got a stomach bug at 1:30 Saturday morning. She was sick again at breakfast yesterday, and again at breakfast today. I wish it would go away!!! Other than those times, she's been fine--a little sleepy, but fine. I slept several hours yesterday. I don't know if I was catching up or what. I busted my tail getting the house cleaned up for my brother-in-law and sister-in-law who were going to come for a visit, but then when Lucy got sick, they couldn't come. I think I overdid it. I feel much better today. So far! I am hoping and praying no one else gets sick. I have little energy anyway right now, and like most people, Dave has to go back to work on Monday!

So, here's to a quiet day at home! I hope we all can rest and stay healthy.

The Gift of Wisdom and The Curse of Co-Dependency

2010-09-30T08:54:00.002-05:00

I have both. Unfortunately.

I had never considered that I had the gift of wisdom until earlier this year, around Easter. A dear woman spoke a word over me about Lady Wisdom from Proverbs, and how the Lord showed her that I was like this woman. And peering into my life, I see that I do, indeed, have this gift. I can't get a big head about it, though, because it is a GIFT. I didn't earn it, and it certainly doesn't come from always learning things the easy way (which is a nice way to say that I sin a lot).

I also can't brag about this gift because "Hi, I'm Amanda, and I'm in recovery for co-dependency and anger." "Hi, Amanda. We're glad you're here." (This is what I say at Celebrate Recovery, fyi.)

The problem is this: I have the gift of wisdom, but because I am a co-dependent, I want to fix people--I want to give them solutions to their problems. I want to "help" them--"help" because it is more about me than it is about them. It gives me a sense of control and superiority instead of a sense of love and humility to be used by God. And if they fail to take my advice, anger inevitably follows. That loss of control, that loss of superiority makes me feel powerless, and anger gives me the power I need to triumph in the situation (this is not true, it is just how I think). Herein lies my problem.

Now, I know I don't ALWAYS operate out of my co-dependency. Thank God! I'm grateful for the Holy Spirit and the ways He has used my gifts to bring Himself glory. But I often, in order to gratify my flesh, find myself wielding advice that no one asked for, taking on burdens that are not mine to carry, and worrying over other people's decisions (that, of course, I wouldn't have made).

In the same breath, I can say that people routinely seek my counsel. I'm learning, though, that I am not their personal prophet. I am Abba's child, used of Him, and it is my desire to point them to HIM like John the Baptist did--"He must increase, but I must decrease." I've found in the past that I will speak the wisdom of the Lord over someone's situation, but He is not the focal point, my wisdom is. So, in that, I must say that I have robbed my Father of His glory.

My prayer now is that when I am asked for my wisdom in a situation, I will first seek Him. I will speak His words, but I will conclude with the statement, "But you must seek Him and His will--you must test and weigh what I say with the Holy Spirit; and you must get your full direction from Him. I am here to edify and encourage you towards Him, not towards myself."

I also must say that as I have been learning about myself for the past couple of years, I have also learned that I don't like it when people try to fix me. I'm sure others feel the same way when I do this to them! Novel!!! I have had to set boundaries in several areas of my life where I do not give myself the opportunity to fix others, nor do I allow others to fix me. Only Jesus can be what I need. Only He can heal my pain, my anger, my co-dependency, and in realizing that, I see that only He can do this for others as well; I am not qualified.

That is a load off my mind.

Just Call Me "The Homeschooling Hermit"

2010-09-27T07:18:00.004-05:00

Cooler weather has come to our region and with it, I am finding myself becoming a hermit. It is much easier for me to stay at home than it is for me to get out and drive somewhere. Maybe I'm nesting. It's not normal nesting, though, because I'm not cleaning anything or preparing anything for the babies. I'm mostly just living my life, quietly. That, and I feel like (and measuring like!) I'm 32-33 weeks instead of nearly 25, so moving around is becoming a challenge...and I still have 2-3 months of this.

School is going well, and I enjoy this time each day with my big kids. Lucy is still a struggle during schooltime, but the world hasn't ended because of it. Maryn is reading better and better each day, and I'm in awe of how quickly she picks up new things. Sam has learned SO much this year so far. We have been schooling for 3 months nearly, and he is soaking it all up.

This doesn't mean that we don't have bad days. In fact, for awhile there, it seemed like our bad days were more frequent than our good days. A lot of it has to do with my attitude and how I respond to him. I'm learning that being matter-of-fact is more effective than getting annoyed or irritated when he refuses to do something. Some days, school takes WAY longer than it should because we have to stop, correct behavior or attitude, redo whatever lesson we were working on, and then move forward.

All in all, he has learned far more than I bargained for. Someone once told me that kindergarten (or was it pre-k?) is really a lesson in learning to stand in line. They don't learn much more than that.

I beg to differ.

Sam has learned to read with better proficiency, is tackling long vowels like a champ, has learned to count to 100 by 1's and 10's, he is learning to add, he is learning basic fractions this week, he is learning how to write properly, he has memorized 10 verses and the Lord's Prayer. All of this and so much more in 3 months. Seriously. I don't say this to brag at all. I say this because I think kids really want to learn more and the more you work with them, they will surprise you with what they're capable of! Their brains are amazing. Our Creator deserves all glory for His amazing creation!

I think it is limiting to them to say that all they will learn is how to stand in line. They are capable of so much more. And they do take pride in their accomplishments. Sam gets excited when he learns something new, and it is fun to watch him apply it throughout the day. It's very rewarding. I realize he could have learned all of this stuff in a traditional school, but I am amazed that he is learning all of this stuff from ME. I never, in a million years, thought I would be teaching my kids at home. But I am thankful for the opportunity, even if this is the only year I do it (we will reevaluate in the summer and see how life with twins is treating us).

I may not be out and about and taking the world by storm, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to stay home with my kids, teach them, and enjoy watching them be kids. I know I'm very blessed to be in this position, and I try not to take it for granted.

I'm off to spruce up the home, welcome Lucy's speech therapist, and begin my day in the hermitage. :)

Expectations of the Expectant Mother

2010-09-20T13:25:00.003-05:00

Time is passing rather quickly, it seems. The first day of Fall is on Wednesday, and after that season passes, my babies will be here. It is hard to believe I have between 3-4 months left.

I feel anticipation and anxiousness when I think about going into labor. I am excited for them to arrive, but I don't want them to come too early. The longer they stay in, the healthier they'll be. There is that in-between waiting that is just hard. I am growing by the second, and I have a hard time imagining what I'm going to look like in December.

Deformed. I'm sure I'll look deformed.

That's okay; I have a good reason. :)

I've also found that I've been much more quiet about this pregnancy. I rarely call the boys by their names to other people. I don't know why. I just say "the boys." I think perhaps I am savoring the knowledge of the two of them in my womb. Since I get to have ultrasounds so frequently, I have a pretty good handle on where each boy is positioned. I can think of them in terms of "Felix just kicked me," or "Milo has the hiccups." It's a special bond between the three of us.

I wonder what they'll look like. Will they be identical? Will one of them have red hair like Sam? Will they look different enough that I don't confuse them?

Sam and Maryn are excited about their arrival. I'm a bit nervous for Lucy. She is a mama's girl, and I wonder if she'll be too jealous or clingy. I hope not. I hope she'll be excited to run and get me things I need. We are planning to move her into Sam and Maryn's room in the next few weeks. The party will probably last for a month or two. I'm hoping she is secure and sleeping well in their room by the time Felix and Milo arrive.

I'm holding out hope for help. I am praying that God will send some people to help us with the older children and meals. I really DON'T want people to come who just want to hold the babies; I want REAL HELP. I will be spending a lot of my time feeding the boys, and it would be nice to know that my other children are not running around like crazy people.

I'm so thankful for God's grace in all this. He knows what we need, and I can see that it won't be easy, but I know HE will be faithful to us and help us when we need it. He's a really good Father.

Oh, the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus!

2010-09-13T08:25:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking about sorrow and grief multiple times over the last month. I've had three friends miscarry their sweet babies, and hearing that news just never gets easier.

It's also been on my mind a lot because the baby I lost would have been due this week. I've thought so many times about how I would have been close to delivery, eagerly anticipating his/her arrival, and our lives would be changed again. Watching my friends walk through the journey without me has not been easy; in fact, it has just sucked. I certainly wish no ill will on anyone, and I am happy for them; it's just hard to watch them knowing that I won't get to experience that with the baby I lost. I think I am in the final stage of grief, and I think this too shall pass as this date passes me by.

I miss that little baby, conceived in love and commitment, created for a purpose. I was honored to be his/her mommy for just a short amount of time. But, I'm still sad. Even with two wiggly boys in my womb right now, I still feel the loss of that precious one. Just because I was able to conceive again doesn't mean that the love and memory of that precious one has been erased. I will never forget that sweet child.

Last night, after hearing of another friend miscarrying, I began thinking of Jesus, dying on the cross, becoming sin for us and carrying our sorrows. Isaiah 53 says,

3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

⁴ Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

Jesus, the Son of God, the Son of man, understands the grief and sorrow that comes with loss of a child. Because of His great sacrifice on the cross, He acquainted himself with these very griefs. He experienced ALL of it on the cross. He is the ideal one to carry us through the grief and sorrow ourselves. I am so thankful for this beautiful gift--one who can understand perfectly what I am going through because He has ALREADY CARRIED IT for me. I can lean on Him and trust Him in my sorrow.

Occasionally, I will still have a sad moment, but through it all, the overwhelming and predominant feeling in the midst of sorrow has been JOY. JOY in Him--that He loves me, that He would carry my burdens, that He is my strength, that He is my hope. I pray that my friends experience this Deep, Deep, Love of Jesus. I pray that they are touched by His Joy and can be filled with it in the midst of their own sorrow.

We are healed by His stripes. We are whole in Him. We lack nothing. We have everything. All will be restored. All will be made new. Praise Him!!!

Brain Niblets

2010-09-10T16:29:00.005-05:00

I'm having some blogger block today. It will probably end up being a bullet point list. Yes, it will.

22 Weeks yesterday--went to the doc, measuring 30 weeks. Boys look good. Blood pressure is awesome--100/60. Altogether uneventful. 15 weeks until term.
Dealing with an overachieving child is difficult, especially when he's learning new material in school and is easily frustrated when he doesn't get the answers right the first time.
I have a throbbing headache in the base of my skull.
It is best to put away the dishes while the toddler is asleep. This prevents her from getting into the dishwasher and making messes.
Doing things for others is rewarding unless you do them out of obligation, then it is just exhausting. Note to self: next time, you will say "no."
We have one episode of Lost left and then the finale. I'm ready.
Does anyone else think Benjamin Linus is the Island's version of Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder version)?
I have really missed my husband this week. He has been working so much, and I can tell he's exhausted and drained. I'm looking forward to this weekend with him.
I am currently frustrated that Lucy will not play outside for more than 3 seconds without crying, wanting back in only to go right back out.
I have appreciated the rain we've received the last few days. It was much needed, and I am hoping our trees don't dry up and change colors like they've been doing so far.
I just got sad realizing that the next holiday Dave gets off is Christmas. He hasn't had a holiday off since...Memorial Day. Sheesh. That was three months ago.
The good news is that the work day is almost done, and all my favorite people in the world will be under one roof.

Have a good weekend!

Labor Dabor

2010-09-06T14:00:00.003-05:00

It is Labor Day, and I can't think of Labor Day without remembering this old Strong-Bad email from Homestar Runner. Just for a laugh, you know?

Check it out HERE.

Names and Meanings

2010-09-04T22:08:00.001-05:00

We have notified our families of our names for our boys. So now, it is your turn (though you might've already seen it on Facebook. Took me a little longer to get on here.)

Introducing:

Felix Josiah
and
Milo Zane

Now, what you didn't get on Facebook are the meanings of the names. Dave and I are pretty insistent that our children have meaningful names that speak over their lives. We believe that a "good name is rather to be chosen than great riches" (Proverbs 22:1).

Felix means "blessed, happy, fortunate". This name is not only rock awesome, it is so true. This little boy is a blessing to us and will be to others. His middle name, Josiah, has a few meanings. I saw two prevalent ones: "fire of the Lord" and "Jehovah heals". This name is especially meaningful. The fire of the Lord brings power and purity. "Our God is a consuming fire" (Hebrews 12:29). Also, Jehovah does heal. In our pain of losing our sweet baby in January, the Lord healed us. Then, He granted us a double blessing beyond anything we could have imagined. We are so thankful for Felix Josiah.

Milo means "merciful" and one book I saw said "generous". His middle name, Zane, means "God is gracious". We believe this child is a gift of God's mercy and grace. We are so thankful that God blessed us with Milo Zane in His grace and mercy. We didn't deserve anything, but He lavished this gift of ANOTHER boy on us.

We are so humbled and grateful for these gifts!!!

We know most people don't think about meaning when they say a name. But when we say our children's names, we can't help but think about what their names represent for them.

When I speak "Samuel", I am declaring that my son will hear the Lord!!! I want him to hear the Holy Spirit clearly and not live in fear.

When I speak "Maryn", I say she is "desired"--by Jesus and by her parents. I also speak that she is "of the sea"--hopefully one who gives her life to those beyond this land.

And when I say "Lucy", I am calling her "light". She will shine forth in radiance for Jesus.

We love our kids' names, but the meanings surpass the popularity or lack thereof. I pray you will start to see your own name and your children's in the same way.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I'm a Failure, and It's Okay.

2010-09-03T15:06:00.004-05:00

I think I probably fail more than I succeed. I attribute this to being human. I am not without error. How I handle failure is often more telling of my beliefs than the actual failures themselves.

I think we're scared of the word "failure". We've been taught not to call ourselves that because then we can't "do whatever we put our minds to". I don't think we need to be scared of it. Failure is inevitable. We're all going to mess up; we've all sinned. We're all imperfect and wicked at times. We think impure thoughts, we get angry and murder people in our minds, and we willfully do the wrong thing--over and over.

Why are we scared to fail? Is it because we're afraid of what people will think of us when we announce that we failed? Or is it because we know we're not "good enough" for God?

Take comfort, friends.

You're not good enough for God...on your own.

Knowing Jesus makes you good enough in EVERY way. Despite your human failures, the blood of Jesus shines through, His grace covers, and His love overwhelms every single failure.

Did you know that Jesus BECAME sin on the cross? He didn't just carry it--HE BECAME SIN. What does that mean for us? Every single failure--He became it. He put to death those failures, and He rose victorious over them. Because He did that, we also died to them and rose victorious over them.

So, I sinned today. You did too. We both failed.

But...

we trust in His death and resurrection over those sins, and we can rise to walk in His victorious life.

He's not mad at us.
He's not disappointed in us.
He's not surprised at us.

He's pleased with us.
He's rejoicing over us.
He knows us intimately.
He loves us.

So stop acting like He's a meanie out to get you. You couldn't be further from the truth.

21 Weeks--16 to go!!!

2010-09-02T14:11:00.003-05:00

I go to the doctor next week. I have gained 19 lbs so far. I need to gain 5 more lbs. in the next 3 weeks to meet the quota of 24 lbs in 24 weeks. Evidently, if you gain less than 24 lbs in 24 weeks, your chances of preterm labor increase significantly. I think I can do it! :)

The boys are moving quite a bit these days. They really enjoy dinner time and bed time. We have decided on first names but no middle names yet. I will announce them here whenever we tell our families what we've chosen.

We just hope no one is negative about the names...we've been down that road before!

37 weeks is my goal. If they stay in a bit longer, I won't mind (even though the discomfort will make me mind!!!). I pray they're both over 6 lbs and good nursers!!!

I will definitely update after my appointment next week. I'm looking forward to the ultrasound. It's so fun to see them on there, wiggling around and waving at me. :)

Knowing God: A How Not To

2010-08-31T08:14:00.004-05:00

Last night, a girl I really don't know well at all told me that she envies the way I know God.

I laughed.

I was at a meeting called Celebrate Recovery!--it's like AA for everything--life's hurts, habits, and hang-ups. I think this is why I laughed. Here I am, obviously a "beggar at the door of God's mercy," and she envies ME. I was flat-out humbled. And realized even more how great God is.

She went on to say, "I've been a Christian for a long time, but I don't feel like I have that kind of relationship with God the way you do. I want to know what I need to do to get there."

I replied, "Well, I'm sorry to say, but there is nothing you can do to get there."

I went on to explain that God's work of grace in my life has been a long road. My journey to "get there" is not complete. I've been blessed by experiences with Him, grace extended to me in my darkest moments, and just loved on by His people. My journey into a deeper relationship with God goes far beyond a list of things to do. In fact, I can't take any credit for the journey. I believe He has orchestrated all of it. If anything on my part, there was a desire to know Him more. He has been faithful to grant that.

"Even you just asking me about this tonight is part of YOUR journey. You will look back someday and remember that this was part of it," I told her.

I tried to explain that there were a couple of really great books that have shaped and blessed me over the years. I wrote down the titles* and gave them to her. I told her to call me if she wanted to chat some more. I hope she does.

I think she wanted a formula. The "me" from just a few years back would have wanted one too. Perhaps, she wanted me to say, "If you just read your Bible more, pray more, be faithful to church, and stop sinning, THEN you can know Him more deeply." A lot of churches teach this heresy. The path to knowing God is not about disciplining yourself into what you believe is obedience. It's about letting Him reveal Himself to you in a myriad of ways--yes, His Word is one way, but so are His people and His very voice in your spirit, speaking His truth to you and over you.

There is NO formula.

In the kingdom of heaven, a+b≠c. Everything is a paradox--you die to live, you lose to win, the first is last, you give to those who take from you.

There is NO formula.

I'll end with this quote I read on Facebook yesterday. It totally sums up how I feel about my walk with God--knowing Him, letting Him love me, and being able to love Him back:

I used to think that what God wanted for me to do was try harder, get
more committed, deny myself and keep my sin under control and then I
would begin to see change. But I am learning that the fight in the
Christian life is the fight of faith...to believe the Gospel of grace
...(that God in Christ has forgiven you of all your debt with Him and that He has given you all His 'rightness') really is true. -Tom Wood

I repeat, there is NO formula.

*The titles I recommended are The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning which was a catalyst in my journey of grace. In my journey of understanding God's love, He Loves Me! by Wayne Jacobsen takes the cake.

The Rundown (no, not that horrible movie with The Rock)

2010-08-30T08:02:00.004-05:00

I wish I had something amazing and exciting to talk about.

I don't.

Sorry.

So, I guess you just get a rundown of what I did last week.

I cooked.
I cleaned.
Dave cleaned my floors, and I feel like our house is sparkling.
I reorganized my craft shelf and got rid of a bunch of fabric.
I made a skirt for Maryn.
I finished a sweater for my friend Nicole's son, Calvin.
I repaired two stuffed animals.
I took my kids to the park twice.
I played miniature golf, and my son almost beat me (he got two holes-in-one).
I got to see my good friend, Elizabeth, on Saturday for a couple of hours.
We had Nicole's family over for supper and s'mores last night. Though, our smores had to be made in the toaster oven because it started raining during dinner, and we have an electric stove and a capped fireplace. They were still good.
When I cleaned out the craft shelf, I discovered a few unfinished projects. I'm working on an afghan as a gift, and that darned old advent calendar is STILL waiting for me. My friend's mom gave me hers to use as a pattern, so I'm starting from scratch with that. Forget the old one. There is also a pile of bibs waiting to be sewn. I may or may not get to those this century.
We got doughnuts for snacks one day.

All in all, it was a pretty fun week. Dave and I are finishing up Season 5 of Lost this week. We have the season finale, and then we can move on to Season 6. I'm ready to be done!!! I have enjoyed the story immensely, but I'm ready to have some closure.

I believe it is time for me to do mundane chores. I hope your day is blessed and filled with lots of laughter.

The Little Light House: Vote NOW!

2010-08-26T08:03:00.004-05:00

Please click below on the widget to go vote for The Little Light House in Tulsa, OK. It is a great school for kids with special needs. My friend's little boy, Elliot, is a student there, and this school has been such a blessing for their family. He has learned so much while he is there. Here is a link to read about Elliot Bennett.

The Little Light House does not receive ANY government funding. They rely solely on donations and are non-profit.

You can vote 5 times for The Little Lighthouse--they can win $500,000!!! This would be a huge blessing for them. This is not a scam, and you won't regret it!

Homeschooling Progress: 7 Weeks Down

2010-08-23T07:34:00.004-05:00

Sam is doing really well with homeschooling. He is so smart (which I knew because I'm his mom, and of course, I am biased!). No really, though, I am so impressed with God's design of the brain. Sam is soaking up so much in a short period of time. Because I did the Beginning Reading from Hooked on Phonics with him prior to starting school, the entire first semester of his phonics curriculum has been review (with the exception of a couple of lessons on sentences).

Sam finished that first semester of phonics LAST week. We reviewed what was necessary and flew through the rest. We are finally slowing down now that we have made it to long vowels. I would be thrilled if he finishes the phonics curriculum by Christmas (or before the boys arrive, whichever comes first), and then he can just READ, READ, READ!!!

As for math, we aren't going quite as fast, but it has been really neat to see him learn. I am discovering what is hard for him and easy for him. I am also discovering what kind of approach I prefer. He loves real-life application. He's not content counting manipulatives (though he does), he really wants to do something that is REAL. We have made toast together, used the computer together, and I've noticed how much more quickly he learns by doing. It is so neat to see him in this new light.

Handwriting is fine--he does fine on his worksheets, but he forgets to apply what he's learned while drawing for fun. I suppose it will translate eventually. Other people experience this? We're doing Handwriting Without Tears, if you didn't know.

He has memorized seven verses so far! I am so encouraged. I am re-memorizing them with him. One day, I noticed Maryn was learning them too, just by listening to Sam recite them. So great!

Maryn is almost finished with the Beginning Reading Hooked on Phonics. I ordered some books for her to give her something to do for awhile. I got the Bob Books and the Now I'm Reading books. She has shocked me with how quickly she has picked up reading. She is not as proficient as Sam yet, but she will be in no time, I'm sure. I wanted to get him really comfortable with long vowels before I go any further with her. I am not ready for her to catch up with him yet!

I am really amazed and encouraged by my experience so far. My kids are learning so much in an hour a day. I am thankful for this opportunity. I am loving my time with them, watching them grow and learning more about who they are. They are a joy and a blessing.

By the way, Lucy will watch a Backyardigans Sing-A-Long DVD, and that has helped immensely! I've also found that snacks help keep her occupied as well!

Twice is Nice

2010-08-19T08:03:00.004-05:00

We have had yet another ultrasound and an appointment, and we are having two boys, for certain!

They are very cute. I get more and more excited about meeting them and seeing their personalities up close and personal. They are growing well, and I am healthy. What a gift!

My oldest two children are very excited about having two baby "brudders". My dad has come up with several silly name combos for the boys as well--Phineas and Ferb, Thaddeus and Thor, Cash and Dash. Not gonna happen! :)

We are a bit stuck on names. We don't want anything that rhymes, and we want to have very meaningful names. It is hard to find two names that work well together and with our other children. And then there are middle names to consider! It is too much! I mentally go through my children's list of names to see how it would sound, "Sam, Maryn, Lucy, ______________, and _____________." I also have found a name or two that I liked, but I just didn't like the potential nicknames. We shall see, and I believe it will be a matter of prayer! I am sure there are names for these boys!

Just not Jacob and Esau....

Last Trip (for awhile)

2010-08-16T08:19:00.002-05:00

We made our last trip of my pregnancy this past week. I am to the point already (at 18 weeks) where riding in the van for extended periods of time is very uncomfortable. Some of our good friends from residency were in Tulsa because of a death in their family. We wanted to be sure to see them while they were in town because it has been a year since we saw them last, and we won't see them for another year and a half or so. They are missionaries in Kenya, and it was GREAT to see them and their children. It is so surreal sometimes to think about them being overseas; someday, I will feel that way about us being overseas!

We were able to visit with a lot of people, but there were still so many that we didn't get to see! It's so hard to not be able to see EVERYONE. But, I trust we saw those that we needed to see this trip. We were so blessed by our hostess, Jan, and by the many families who cooked for us. We are so thankful for the time people made in their schedules for us.

The kids got to swim several times and had a blast. They love going to Tulsa. They always hate to leave. :)

Now that we're back home, we are prepared to settle in and stay put. The babies are coming in Dec/Jan, and I have a feeling it will be months before we're brave enough to attempt a road trip with 5 children (2 of them babies!). So, here's to being a homebody and being content!

So, if you miss us, come visit! :)

I have an ultrasound today as well as my doctor's appt. I am looking forward to seeing the boys (I will be surprised if Baby A is a girl. Very surprised.) I will certainly let you know if it changes!

I must move on with my day. I have too much to do to sit here any longer!

Consignment???

2010-08-08T10:20:00.004-05:00

I'm considering joining in the consignment sale coming up in our area. I thought it might be a good way to make some money to put toward buying the twins some clothes. However, I'm not sure I think my time is worth it??? I don't know.

I want to know what you think about consigning.

Did you feel it was worth it?

Did you like being able to shop early and get good deals?

Should I only put out fall clothes since we're coming into the fall season or should I put out summer stuff too?

What were the positives/negatives?

Did you iron any clothing?

Any tips?

Quiet

2010-08-03T19:33:00.002-05:00

That's what my house is right now. I asked Dave to please take all the children to the store to buy some ice cream so I can be alone for a little while. It has been a rough couple of days. We had new windows installed in our house, and so there was a lot of togetherness for me and the kids. They are used to being able to play all over the house, and I had to keep them out of the workmen's ways and away from the glass.

I am tired!

The windows look great, and I am so thankful to have them. I hope our bills change drastically, and I hope our house can maintain a more consistent temperature.

I am thankful for the quiet now. No one is yelling; no one is crying. Not even me. :)

So, I think I will go enjoy myself for a few more minutes before I eat my ice cream.

And the Twins Are...

2010-07-29T07:45:00.004-05:00

Boys!

Well, we think they're both boys. Our ultrasound tech was confident that one was a boy and a little unsure about the other. When I look at the pictures, it does look like a boy. We have another ultrasound on the 16th, so we will be able to check again, and hopefully with more certainty.

Names are a no-go at this point. We had a boy name and a girl name, but if we're not going to be able to use those, then we will need to come up with some others. We've tossed several around, but we aren't sold on anything yet. And, family, we are fairly certain you will think the names we pick are weird, so be prepared. :)

Everything looked good on the ultrasound--hands, toes, fingers, heads, bellies, and hearts. Both were measuring about the same, which is great--there isn't one getting more than another. There were two placentas, two sacs, but this does not guarantee they're fraternal (however, they most likely are). If they are, indeed, two boys, we will not know if they are fraternal or identical until birth if we have a DNA test or can obviously tell them apart (we think it'd be cool if one was a redhead). It was fun to see them wiggling around and see how amazing the human body is--and the God who created it!

Here are some pictures of the little bundles of JOY:

Here is Baby "A": He/she (this is the one she was unsure about) was more cooperative than Baby "B"--wasn't nearly as wiggly and let us get some good pictures.

And Baby "B" wiggled so much, most of his pictures were blurry. Can you see his fingers spread out?

And here they are together: "B" is on the left, and "A" is on the right. "A" decided to wave for the picture. Can you see? "B" is blurry. :)

Thanks for indulging my proud mama's heart! I would have put all the pictures on here, but I am not that ambitious. :)

Ideas Worth Stealing

2010-07-27T08:10:00.000-05:00

My friend, Katie, has fabulous ideas. You should check out her weekly Tuesday Tip on her blog. As I've gotten to know her over the past couple of years (via the internet and a brief visit in an airport!), I've learned to steal as many of her ideas as I can. She is a few steps ahead of me, and she is way more organized than I think I will ever be.

Here is my favorite idea of Katie's: teach your kid to read.

That was something very intimidating to me. I wondered how in the world I would do that. She made it simple.

Starting at age 2, do alphabet flashcards until they learn to recognize all their letters.

At age 3, begin teaching them all the sounds of the letters.

At age 4, begin teaching them to blend letters and form words.

And BAM! your kid is reading before kindergarten.

I was a little slow on the uptake, but here's how it went for us.

Sam:

He knew his alphabet already when I started although he would confuse similar-looking letters (b/d, g/q, f/t). At age 4, I started working on sounds with him. He learned all of those and started to blend letters into words. I quit for awhile because he seemed really frustrated. Right at age 5, I picked it up again, and in 45 minutes, he was sounding out words like a pro. He continued reading, and now we are flying through the kindergarten phonics and reading; so far, it has all been review! We will slow down once we come into unfamiliar territory. I am excited for that day to see him learn MORE new reading techniques.

Maryn:

At age 3, I started making sure she recognized all her letters. Then, at 4, when we started "school" for her three weeks ago, I started working on letter sounds. In three weeks and 5-10 minutes a day, she learned all her letter sounds. Last week, she started sounding out words. These kids have amazing brains! We need to take advantage of them!

So, Katie, thank you for encouraging me in this; it has paid off, and I am so thrilled that I got the opportunity to teach my kids how to read.

Now, Lucy may be a different story because she turns two right before the twins will be born. :)

Twins 101: Conversations

2010-07-23T07:57:00.003-05:00

"I heard the great news! Twins!"

"Yes. We're very excited."

"Better you than me!"

"Are they fraternal or identical?"

"I don't know yet. We might find out at our ultrasound, but then again, we may have to wait until they're born."

"Does it run in your family?"

"Yes, I have some that are distant cousins."

"What about your husband's family?"

"Well, it actually doesn't matter if they're on his side of the family. For fraternal (genetic) twins, it has to be on my side because it means I released two eggs."

"Oh. Well, congratulations...I guess."

These are a couple of the real conversations I have had multiple times. Not everyone ended on a negative note, but I have had a few end like these. It never ceases to amaze me how negative people's comments can be, and they assume you agree with them so they're not rude at all. Yeah, right.

But I've had some good conversations as well. My favorite was with my friend, Caroline. We were in Tulsa for the weekend, and we went to visit our former church there. She walked straight up to me and said,

"This is the greatest thing you will ever walk into. This is something you will look back on and say that this is when it all began. This is a great blessing, and I am so excited for what God is going to do."

That is a loose translation, but exactly what I heard.

Speak life to people.

If you say you honor life, respect life, and protect life, then SPEAK LIFE.

Speak it over your children, over your home, over your spouse, over your family, over your friends, over the Body of Christ, over the sucky circumstances in your life, over the amazing circumstances.

Always SPEAK LIFE.

Appointment and Disappointment

2010-07-20T07:39:00.003-05:00

We had our first appointment with the OB/GYN yesterday. Everything went really smoothly, and I was not required to repeat all the lab work and exams that I had already done at the Health Department for my midwife risk assessment. That was nice.

We really liked our doctor, even if he was a bit chatty. Once they find out your husband is a doctor, the conversation can kind of stray! It was fine, though, and we feel really comfortable with him as our doctor. He is very confident in his own abilities, and he was confident in ME. I really like that kind of support--especially when it comes to birthin' babies. Because really, I am the one who does all the work anyway. :)

The disappointment was that we did not get to have an ultrasound because he doesn't do them in his office, so we have a separate appointment to have that done next week. In the future, I will have ultrasounds every month to check on the babies and make sure they're both getting enough to eat. These appointments will be right before my doctor's appointment, so I won't have to make the trip twice. Thank you!

We got to hear their heartbeats. It really might be one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. To hear two was comforting--I'm glad they're both okay in there. I've felt them flutter around a bit, but at this stage of the game, it isn't regular enough to gauge anything by it. My blood pressure is stellar, and so far, my weight gain is great. I'm right where I should be...hope I can keep it that way. :)

We ate Indian food last night for dinner since we were in the city, and it was delish. But there was this obnoxious woman who came in to do a take-out order. She was talky-talky and passive-aggressive, and it was so sweet because Dave caught my eye and said, "I love you so much." I laughed. I guess he's glad I'm not as neurotic as that lady. :)

Well, stay tuned for a post on Twins 101. The facts, the myths, and the common questions that I get asked almost EVERY day.

Diseases, Books, and My Exciting Life

2010-07-15T09:35:00.004-05:00

Not too much has been happening here...well, nothing exciting anyway.

Last week, all three of my kids had hand/foot/mouth--a nasty virus that has sores in those three body parts. Lucy was the worst, and it was miserable. She didn't sleep well (translated: we didn't sleep well), and she was just very fussy. I am so thankful they are all better now.

We had a friend who is a missionary in East Asia come stay the night with us this week. It was nice to visit with her and hear about what God is doing in her part of the world. He is really moving among the church there and is drawing more to Himself.

I read another book by Wayne Jacobsen--So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore? It was really interesting. Too many thoughts to go into here and now, but I will say, I agreed with far more than I disagreed with. It is not a proclaimer of house church or no church or anti-traditional church. It is all about US as THE CHURCH living in community with one another--transparently and honestly--loving people and making Jesus our focus instead of buildings, programs, classes, methods, or men. It was very encouraging, and it is exactly what I needed to read right now. I do recommend it.

I'm reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett right now for book club. I am loving it so far. It is really well-written, and I can tell it is going to be one of those books that I am going to want to own. If you're wondering, it is about some black maids in the 60s who have been raising white children for years as nannies, but they are also discriminated against by their employers. A white woman comes along who wants to see change, and the three of them together embark on a journey of change during the civil rights era.

Lucy starts speech therapy next week. I am glad. However, in the last month since her evaluation, she is already saying new words and trying oh so hard to say many more. I'm very happy for her. We're still trying to decide whether we want to pursue developmental therapy. We really feel like the speech will help her in her weak developmental areas. I am hoping she does really well with speech in the next three months, because once I hit my third trimester, traveling an hour twice a week for therapy just may not be reasonable--it just depends how well my pregnancy is going.

We go to the doctor I found on Monday. We are very excited. We are not expecting to see their genders because I will be almost 15 weeks. It is possible, but I am not getting my hopes up. We are very thankful for the doctor we found. He is so reasonable and kind and supportive. Now we just have to pray all goes well and that the babies stay head down throughout delivery! :)

Well, that's about it for me. I hope your week is going well!!!

School in July...almost as fun as Christmas in July

2010-07-07T13:58:00.003-05:00

School has officially begun at our house.

You say, "It's only July, Amanda. Stop and smell the roses."

Well, yes, that is true, but I think I will wait to stop and smell the roses when the babies arrive in the winter. We started early so that I will be able to take some time (a couple of months) off when they get here.

Sam is in kindergarten this year. We are doing A Beka Phonics and Reading, Bob Jones Math for K5, and Handwriting Without Tears. It's pretty low-key, takes 45 minutes to an hour a day. And Sam is zooming. We are doing two phonics lessons a day right now because it is all review for him (because I did Hooked on Phonics with him in the winter). The math is all review too, and I think it will go faster as I get a feel for the teacher's guide and how much I want to put into each lesson.

Maryn has a packet every day that I made for the whole year. I bought those ginormous workbooks from Sam's Club (at Joanna's suggestion!!! THANK YOU, JO! BEST IDEA EVER.). I ripped out all the pages and made packets for each day and stapled them together with coloring sheets from the many coloring books we have lying around the house. She is proud of herself for getting to do school too. I am also doing the Hooked on Phonics with her as well. She is getting all her sounds down right now.

We are also doing a bit of Bible memory as well and discussing the meanings behind the verses we memorize. It is amazing how quickly kids memorize.

It has been great so far. I'm very proud of both of them. The hardest part so far has been finding things for Lucy to do. I don't do school during quiet time/naptime because I need that time to unwind or nap. She doesn't quite have the dexterity for coloring yet, and her attention span for TV is way too short. If you have any ideas for a nearly 20 month old, I will gladly take them. This girl is way too busy and into everything!

Well, naptime is over; this post is too. :)

Plans and Open Hands

2010-07-01T08:44:00.003-05:00

Planning for the birth of a baby is challenging, especially when you already have children. Planning for the birth of TWO babies (at the same time!) is even more challenging and ESPECIALLY when you have three older children.

I have felt every emotion possible this past week: happy, overwhelmed, excited, thankful, scared, nervous, and a little loony.

I have comforted myself with the knowledge that God has chosen this for our family. He has blessed us with this amazing gift of two children at once. He is wise. He also knows how pressure draws us closer to Him. Trusting Him in this will be a lesson all in itself!

Right now, I am trying to decide which doctor I will go with. I am doing my best to research them ahead of time instead of doing several interviews since we live an hour away. It hasn't been really easy, and some offices have been more cooperative than others. I've called hospitals and talked about their policies for multiple births. I am still waiting to hear back from a couple of doctors.

I want what is best for my children. I want them to be healthy, though I know that isn't a guarantee or a proof of God's goodness. He is good no matter how healthy they are. I do want to plan the best possible situation for them to be born in. I feel that if I fail to plan for the best possible situation, then it will certainly NEVER happen. Things may not go the way I plan, and I know that, and I'm okay with that, but if I don't plan for the best, then that reality is not a possibility.

I am daily reminding myself that I am not in control. I don't have to be in control. I don't know how early they'll be born. I don't know how much they'll weigh. I don't know if they'll nurse well. But if I don't take care of myself, then the chances are, they'll be born earlier, weigh less than they should, and probably struggle with nursing. So, wouldn't I be foolish to not prepare for the BEST and take care of myself?

I think the same thing goes for my birth plan. I want to have a vaginal delivery. It is statistically the better option for both mom and baby. I want to work towards that. I realize it may not happen. One of my wiggly children may decide to turn some funny way at the last minute. I know that. I am prepared for that.

I want to have a natural birth if possible. The fewer medications in my body=the fewer medications in their bodies. It is also an amazing experience for all involved. My experience with Lucy was so amazing, and the bond and connection we shared was very different from my other births. Do I love my other children less? No. Absolutely not. But the experience has changed our relationships. I can't deny that. I don't need to defend natural childbirth--there's a plethora of information that shows how much better it is for mom and baby, breastfeeding, and postpartum recovery.

I have already felt the criticism of others for wanting to plan in this direction--as if I would totally disregard my children for what I want. That kind of judgment goes straight to my heart--that I would prefer myself over my kids. I will do what is best, and I trust that the Lord will give me wisdom and discretion for each situation.

In the meantime, I will continue to search for the best doctor and hospital for me and my babies. I am so thankful for a husband who supports me in my decisions and who isn't afraid to tell me if something makes him uncomfortable. We are in this TOGETHER, and we will press forward in this adventure regardless of the criticism.

Change of Plans

2010-06-25T18:38:00.001-05:00

Well, we are no longer planning a homebirth. We are sad about it, but our midwife will not continue our care...for a very good reason.

We are having twins.

That is right. I am not even joking. We just found out today at our ultrasound. We had a resident friend do one for us since we haven't had one yet.

All week, I have been wondering if there were two babies instead of one. I believe my spirit knew what my mind did not--the Lord was preparing me for this great news!

Here they are!!!

Our next step is to find a doctor who won't insist upon a c-section unless absolutely necessary. Thankfully, my midwife is going to be able to be my support during delivery and be my go-between for hospital staff as well as helping support me with breastfeeding them.

We appreciate your prayers!!!

The Provision

2010-06-20T10:17:00.003-05:00

In the grand scheme of things, bunk beds are pretty low on the list. I must say, though, that we distinctly felt His provision for them yesterday.

I had done plenty of online research of several stores in the nearest city, and my conclusions were that if we were to buy metal bunkbeds, bunky boards, mattresses, and pay to have them delivered, we would spend at least $800.

I did not want metal bunk beds. I'm sure there isn't anything wrong with them, they just don't seem as sturdy as wooden ones. But, we certainly did not want to spend even $800 and certainly not for metal bunk beds.

I checked Craigslist. Most bunkbeds with used mattresses were going for $500. We didn't want used mattresses, but most folks wanted us to take the mattresses with the beds.

So, we went on our adventure yesterday morning. We were both dreading the idea of wandering from store to store and back again just comparing prices and trying to get a good deal. It just sounded exhausting. We went downtown first because we knew of three furniture stores we wanted to check out there. The first store we went to was closed. Closed on Saturday. Seriously?

As we were driving back around, we saw a store that wasn't even on our list--Bates Furniture. It was in an old building downtown and didn't look fancy. We get in, and the lady comes right up and asks what we're looking for.

"Bunk beds. We're just shopping around and trying to get an idea of what we want to buy."

She takes us to the back of the store, and shows us what she has in stock. The first picture she showed us was everything we wanted:

Twin/Full
Solid Wood
Ladder
Rail
Drawers Underneath
MATTRESSES INCLUDED

For $550.

That is right.

I am not even kidding.

$550.

They would also provide setup and delivery for $75.

This is awesome considering we don't own a truck and couldn't rent a U-Haul for less than $90. And we'd rather have people set them up that are used to setting them up!!!

We walked out of there so relieved that our task was OVER and we had saved so much money. At another store I had talked to, they would have been able to give us all the same stuff for--get this--$1200.

We paid HALF.

God is a provider, and I am thankful.

A Really Uninteresting Post

2010-06-18T07:32:00.002-05:00

I don't really have anything interesting to say. I hope to contradict myself, but that would be surprising.

I feel time is flying pretty quickly. My kids are growing. My belly is growing...mostly with fat. No really. It's funny to me that anyone would assume there's a baby in there since it is only the size of a plum. My belly is sure a lot bigger than that! It doesn't really bother me, but I don't want to wear maternity clothes yet. It was exciting to wear them with Sam (which I didn't get to do until I was 20 weeks). I'm wearing maternity stuff today at 10 weeks...I also need to do laundry. I just don't enjoy the looks on people's faces when I tell them I'm still in my first trimester. The cashier at Wal-Mart thought for sure I was four months pregnant. Ha! My abs just aren't what they used to be. :)

I'm considering giving the potty a try with Lucy. She almost peed on it last night. By almost, I mean she stood up from it and peed on the floor. She started crawling out of her bed yesterday. I have never had this issue. Neither of my big kids did that. She is a monkey. She is so tiny too. It amazes me she did it. As a result, we are going to move her to a toddler bed soon and put the big kids in bunk beds. So, this weekend, we will be shopping for bunk beds. I was hoping for a twin/full combo. But DANG, bunk beds are not cheap! I also want sturdy wood ones instead of metal construction. It wouldn't be too bad if we didn't have to buy the mattresses too. I saw a few on Craigslist that looked appealing, but we're not super thrilled with buying used mattresses. Does that gross out anyone else? If you live in my area, do you have any good recommendations on places to buy them? I have looked at several stores online, and I've found a few things that I like, but it looks like the cheapest is going to be about $800 for everything. What I want to buy is about $1200 total, and I just can't stomach that! And it appears, most folks on Craigslist want you to take their mattresses too.

I am thankful my kids have places to sleep. And a roof. And food. And more toys than any of us want them to have. I'm such an American.

Helicopter Parenting

2010-06-15T08:33:00.002-05:00

Pardon me, if you and I have had this conversation; it may be boring for you to read this.

There's a trend I (and some magazines I've read) have noticed among parents currently--helicopter parenting. It is hovering over your children while they play and constantly directing them, re-directing them, and micro-managing every activity in order to have a controlled environment. This also leads into organizing activities to entertain children. ALL DAY LONG.

These parents cannot have a phone conversation with another human being because they are too busy hovering. These parents cannot get anything done around the house because they are too busy controlling their child's every move. These parents find themselves at their wit's end because they don't have anything planned for their kids to do today, and they're running out of ideas!

Well, I tried to be this kind of parent because I felt guilty for not doing as much with my kids as "so-and-so" was doing with her kids. It didn't work for me. I have always enjoyed letting my kids play in their room with their toys uninterrupted. I get more accomplished that way! I also have noticed that my kids sense that I trust them to handle situations. Occasionally, one will run and tattle on the other one. If I don't feel that it is a severe situation, I will tell them to work it out. If I think they need a mediator, I will step in. I don't ignore them--not entirely, at least. I just don't think it is very easy to be a kid when a grown-up is constantly there bossing you around.

I boss my kids around enough outside of their play time. I have nothing against play groups or outings--hear me out--but I wonder why so many moms feel like they have to be involved in so many activities. I take my kids to the library, sometimes. :) I go over and we play at friend's houses, sometimes. I just don't know for sure that it is always best to constantly try to find a way to occupy them. Plus, your kids learn that they must be entertained in life. And we all know, as adults, entertaining yourself endlessly only leads to sin.

Isn't childhood about playing and make-believe?

My kids spend most of their awake time doing one of three things--playing pretend, coloring, and playing outside on their bikes or in the dirt. Isn't that what adults miss about childhood? Would you miss it if you knew that the entire time a parent would be correcting everything you did while you were trying to have fun?

Now, I will say this: I believe it is my job as a parent to lead my kids in a God-ward direction. I do not allow my children to have a life free of consequences--just the opposite. I hand out consequences all day. However, I don't feel it is my job to make my kid feel like he/she is inadequate at living life. I won't correct EVERYTHING they do. I won't try to protect EVERYTHING we own. I will allow my kids to fail--that is a consequence in and of itself.

I have heard the other extreme of this--free range kids. A lady in NY let her 8 yr old (approx.) ride the subway alone in NYC. That is just stupid. You certainly must not put your children in situations where great danger could befall them. They have been entrusted to us. You cannot deny parental responsibility--and we must not neglect our children.

I hope to be somewhere in the middle on this one. What about you?

A Round of Therapy for Everyone!

2010-06-10T08:20:00.004-05:00

Well, not everyone. But two of my kids are going into therapy. Not psychological therapy--I'm sure they'll have a day for that when they're older, but hopefully not!

Sam has started physical therapy for his leg. He is still walking around like he has a cast on his leg. It is straight out. We've been doing exercises mainly to help him gain confidence. The therapist said he has the range of motion he needs, he just also needs a good dose of "I can do it!". He is very afraid of bending his leg too far, and so he fights against it. He did much better with the PT than he did with us. But, we still get to do his exercises with him three times a day. I am praying he gains this confidence soon and starts to walk and run normally.

Lucy is being scheduled for a developmental evaluation (because several of her gross motor milestones were a bit late) and a speech evaluation (because she is a little behind on her speech). This is the kind of thing I thought I would freak out about, but I am not. She is SO smart--she's a little mimic, and she understands all the commands I give her. I think her hearing is fine--she responds to me from another room even if she can't see me. It could be that she's just mellow like her dad, and she doesn't care too much about keeping up with brother and sister. Either way, the sooner she gets help, the better. If you wait until after age 3, it is less corrective and more compensatory.

I am 9 weeks today, and I am feeling pretty well. This has honestly been the least sick I've felt in any pregnancy. I have moments, but I've figured out how to manage them better and keep myself from getting there. I'm still pretty tired, but even that is not as bad this time. I am going to be very busy the next couple of weeks with appointments--I've got Sam's PT appointments, Lucy's appointments, and I have two risk assessment appointments and a midwife appointment.

I am getting the sewing bug. This is a good thing because I have a few projects I have yet to finish. I feel like a heel when I promise something and don't come through. Sorry, Christy, I really haven't forgotten your purse (and I'm actually having a fabric dilemma and may need to go shopping!!!). I have grand plans to sew. I don't have much free time to do it since I nap during naptime now. :) But, as my energy returns, I am sure I will be sewing more than I should.

Today, we are headed to the library because they are having Kindersongs today. I think the kids will enjoy it. Now, I must go brush my teeth!

You're Doing WHAT???

2010-06-08T09:40:00.004-05:00

We are planning, Lord willing and if the creek don't rise, to have a home birth. :)

I am seeing a midwife who lives about an hour from me. She has attended the births of two of my friends. She has excellent stats--875 babies--never lost one. This lady knows when to transfer!!! I appreciate that kind of self-knowledge. She knows her limits.

My last birth lasted 4.5 hours start to finish. I'm hoping this one is as good. It was a good length. I had some great pre-labor pains that were irregular with Lucy that helped speed me along. Our nearest hospital has a crazy high intervention rate--60%. I am not entrusting myself to people who are more likely to cut me open than do anything else. Plus, I'm low-risk. If at any point we feel concerned, we will not hesitate to make other plans.

Some of you may be wondering if having a home birth is safe. Well, a doctor friend of ours who is involved in all kinds of research--Walt Larimore, M.D., spends his time writing and researching EVERYTHING--not excluding home birth. His blog is full of wonderful information: www.drwalt.com/blog. In a conversation with him about home delivery, he said, "The combo of a midwife and doula is (statistically) the safest way to go -- and the U.S. data on home deliveries looks pretty good."

In addition, I've done my own research and found that for low-risk women, homebirth has typically better outcomes and fewer interventions (forceps, vaccuum, induction, c-section, etc.). If you are looking for a good book to read on home birth, read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin, the nation's leading midwife.

If you're still skeptical, here are a couple of links with some great information:

Medical News Today

Midwifery Today

British Medical Journal (yes, it's British, but the study is concerning North American homebirths. This study is frequently cited in other works, I've noticed, and it is quite recent.)

Cast-Away

2010-06-03T08:18:00.003-05:00

Sam gets his cast off today! I am so glad. I am ready for his leg to be clean.

He doesn't want it removed. I think he is scared. I tried to explain how it would come off. We shall see how he does when we get there.

I'm thinking we will have lunch at Chick-Fil-A.

I wish Dave didn't have to work today. His mini-vacay ended Tuesday.

We had a lovely weekend in KC. We ate great food, saw a movie, napped, went to a museum, and spent some quality time at the International House of Prayer. We are very refreshed.

We missed the kiddos, though. I think they missed us a little bit. :) I think Lucy missed us the most.

My brother is amazacrazy and fixed our drainage problems. Yea!!! We are hoping this means no more of me in the garage with the shop vac every time it rains.

My family watched the kids, and the adults survived. The kids survived too. :)

Yesterday was our 8-year anniversary. My husband encouraged me big-time in his awesome card fashioned with the Super 8 logo. We do traditional anniversary gifts, and this year is pottery/bronze. He bought me a ceramic pot from 1956 that was traditionally used for beans. I am going to use it for cookies. :) His gift has not arrived yet, but I will be sure to show it when it does.

Well, that's my update. Wish it could have been more exciting! Happy Thursday!

What's the Dealio?

2010-05-28T10:00:00.006-05:00

Okay, this is probably going to offend someone...maybe it should. I don't know, but I had a thought this morning...

What is the DEALIO with Christian women being so excited and enthralled with "Sex and the City" and "Desperate Housewives" and (this one's going to hurt) "Grey's Anatomy"?

Ouch. This is gonna come back and bite me, I'm pretty sure.

I have lately seen an overwhelming excitement over the new "Sex and the City" movie. I have never watched even one episode of any of the above shows, so I have NO IDEA if they are as trashy as I suppose them to be. So, I am talking without knowing; I realize that. And, I am not above watching something ungodly--I probably do more than I should anyway--just so you know, I am not any better, and I realize that too.

But, here's the thought I had this morning:

If a woman says she watches one of these kinds of shows for the story/romance and not for the sexy fantasy/attractive men, isn't that like a man saying he looks at Playboy for the articles?

Just a thought.

In Case You Didn't Know Already...

2010-05-23T11:22:00.002-05:00

I am pregnant.

I am 6.5 weeks currently. I am nervous about it--nervous about losing the baby, mostly. Thankfully, I feel pretty bad, so everything is fine for the time being. I feel better about the pregnancy overall, which is good, but I know there are no guarantees. It's hard to let your heart get excited when you've lost one (or more).

My friend, Dixon, was just blogging the other day about the death of the blog world. I totally agree with him. I find my interest waning. I think it is a combo of little to no feedback and a lack of motivation. I still like to read other people's blogs, but even that can be tiresome sometimes. Now that I am perpetually tired and exhausted, blogging is way at the bottom of the list.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this space. I am not all that inspired, to tell you the truth--four years of this...hate to throw it away. I think part of my problem is that I don't take pictures anymore (because I HATE my camera). I think if I took pictures, I would blog more but maybe not.

How are you feeling about blogs these days?

The Loveliness of Nothingness

2010-05-17T08:45:00.004-05:00

I have been a blogger failure this week. I haven't posted in a whole week! I guess I've been busy...and just haven't had much to say (odd, I know!).

Here's what I can think of:

1. I gave up on the no-shampoo. I made it almost three weeks. It was going okay, but I felt like I couldn't find the perfect balance of formula, and I didn't feel like experimenting endlessly. I am going to shop around for more natural shampoos.

2. Maryn's birthday party was Saturday. It was a quick trip up to see our extended family. We had reserved a room at the pizza place. My friend, Lesley, made her an awesome cake. I need to get my phone synced so I can show you a picture. She received lots of clothes and girly stuff as well as some fun summer toys.

3. Our kitchen sink is CLOGGED. Badly. Nothing we did helped. A plumber comes out tomorrow. Paper plates it is. Our dishwasher is full of dirty dishes and the counter is half-way full. I thought about trying to wash them in the bathroom, but that grosses me out. Is that weird?

4. The house looks decent, though my floors could use a good sweeping and mopping. My craft stuff is piled to heaven. I still have a couple of projects to finish. I'm such a lame-o right now as far as finishing projects. I just have no drive. I started cutting out the purse for my friend, Christy, but then realized I didn't have enough of that same fabric. Grrr. Back to the drawing board.

5. I'm looking forward to doing nothing today. Well, not nothing, but not anything productive (besides caring for kids and feeding them).

So that's it. I know, not too exciting, but such is life.

The Best Kind of Mother's Day

2010-05-10T08:08:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was Mother's Day, and I was spoiled by my husband. My children are still catching on. :) He took a big risk and bought me a vacuum. But the awesomeness of the vacuum supersedes the fact that it is an appliance. He bought me a Dyson Ball. It is amazing. I am so grateful. He also had picked some flowers and bought some tulips, made me breakfast (ham and cheese omelette) and lunch (grilled chicken and grilled veggies), took me out for dinner where I had stuffed gulf shrimp with bearnaise sauce. He finished off the night by cleaning up the kitchen. He did a really great job.

My favorite part of Mother's Day is its proximity to a precious little girl's birthday--my Maryn Elise. She is four years old today. I can hardly believe it. We had fruit pizza for breakfast, and her cake is in the oven for tonight. She has told me she is giving me her blankies tonight (forever) after she gets her presents. :) I really hope it isn't traumatic for her.

Sam "bought" her a Dora fishing pole. We bought her a Tinkerbell costume and some Tinkerbell shoes. I know she will be thrilled. Her party with our extended family is on Saturday. I love my big girl. Here's a look at the previous years:

May 10th, 2006--7 lbs. 14 oz.
(Photo courtesy of Candace Miller)

May 2007--1 year old

June 2008-- 2 years old

May 2009--3rd Birthday

April 2010--Almost 4 years old
(Photo courtesy of Kristen Spickard)

Maryn, you are beautiful--ridiculously so. You are vivacious, nurturing, and dramatic. Your giggles and goofiness brighten our family. You are Sam's best friend, and Lucy's mentor. :) You love to sing and dance and all things girly--but you like to play with Sam's toys too. You know all your letters, and you're learning all the sounds and how to write them. You are very smart. You memorize movie lines better than your dad. You are a blessing to us, and we love you!

5K--Victory!!!

2010-05-08T12:42:00.006-05:00

I did it. I ran the 5k. All the way. Ran it. It was great.

I must have had some major endorphins going, because I barely had any pain while running. It was exhilarating to run with so many women. There were women running and walking, but of course, they put the walkers in a different group at the back.

I was just looking at the stats trying to see how I placed. It's a little confusing how they did it. They ranked people according to whether or not they had joined a running clinic. I did not join a clinic, so I was considered an "open runner". Here are the stats:

I was 12th in my division of open runners--there were 29 total in my group (30-35 yrs).

I was 59/156 for the open running group.

If both groups in my division were combined, I would have ranked 44/147 or top 30% in my division.

If I had been a clinic runner, I would have been at 135/723.

I would have ranked 193/879 if they had put both running groups together.

So, for the running groups, I was in the top 22% of runners.

Overall, I would have ranked 193/1447 because the fastest walker was slower than my run. I could be goofing this math up...but I hope not! (since writing this, I have corrected it twice). :)

That means that overall, I was in the top 13% of the race!

My time was 30:06 for 3.1 miles (5 kilometers), and my pace was 9:43 min/mile.

I am very proud of myself.

Couch to 5K=OVER TOMORROW

2010-05-07T11:03:00.004-05:00

My race is tomorrow morning at 8am. I am nervous and excited and hopeful. I am nervous because I've never done this before. I am excited because I have been working hard and want to see myself accomplish this goal. I am hopeful because I want to run the entire race--no walking--and I want to keep a steady pace.

Today is a restful day. I'm not doing much, and per Marla's advice, I'm staying off my feet. I intend to drink a lot of water and rest. I hope Dave has a quiet weekend of call. I hope hope hope so.

As for my hair, I am still holding out. I think it is getting better. :)

This is a busy week coming up. Today is my Grandma's birthday. I haven't been able to get cards out for Mother's Day or her birthday. I can't look at cards with my kids. It takes too long, and the kids all fight and pull the cards off the shelf. So, it looks like they will be late. I hate that, but that is how it goes sometimes.

Maryn had an axillary (under the arm) temp of 103 yesterday. She had no other symptoms. I got a little worried about her last night. She's completely fine today. Weird.

Maryn will be four on Monday.

That is hard to believe.

We will be having her birthday party the following Saturday with our family. She is looking forward to it. It is a Tinkerbell birthday. :)

This is a boring post, so I think I'll stop. Blah blah blah. :)

Updates on Everything

2010-05-03T09:28:00.005-05:00

Well, I had a bit of a greasy hair weekend, and I didn't have cornstarch. So, I put face powder in my hair and combed it through. It helped! I bought some cornstarch on Saturday.

Also, I noticed when I got sweaty after running, my hair looked better. I guess the saltiness cut the grease? I have no idea. Gross, eh? :) I am washing every other day and only doing the ACV (apple cider vinegar) rinse every other wash. Oh, and Dave says my hair doesn't smell bad.

Today, my hair looks a lot better. It kind of feels sticky like when we moved to Tulsa and had hard water. So, I know it is about to turn a corner. It doesn't look greasy or sticky today, it just feels sticky. It has a lot of body. :) My hair is short, though, so it sticks up a lot when I wake up in the morning. I will have to wet it to get it to look more normal. I am going to press on with this crazy venture!

This is my last week of running in preparation for the 5K race on SATURDAY!!!

I am excited, nervous, and ready to be finished with this goal! I can't believe it is almost here. Here is my running schedule this week (with modified recommendations from my friend, Lee):

Monday--Run 22 minutes

Tuesday--Rest

Wednesday--Run 25 minutes

Thursday--Run 10 minutes

Friday--Rest

Saturday--Run 3.1 miles!!!

Last night (Sunday), I ran 2.47 miles in 25 minutes. It was insane, but I did it, and I kept my pace around 10 minutes/mile. It was great. It's so hard when I am in the middle of it, but I just keep telling myself that I can do this. I am a runner because I am running! So pretty much, I just pep-talk myself the entire time. :)

It seems I have been in a mode of trying new things lately. I've made all these homemade cleaners. Here is my report:

Dishwasher Detergent (improved version over the first one I tried two years ago)--LOVE IT. No spots, no residue.

Furniture Polish--It works really well, but it does leave a little vinegar-y scent for a bit--not too long. Of course, I tried it in the van on the vinyl (whatever that stuff is on the dashboard), so it was in a small, not-too-airy space...should try it on our furniture! At least the smell isn't toxic.

Window Cleaner--I love this cleaner so much more than Windex. There is no ammonia--so no toxic fumes to breathe. I used Clorox Natural Dish Soap (Water Lily scent) as the dish soap for the recipe, and it smells very nice and works super well. It leaves no streaks and actually cleanses the glass/mirror. I also didn't have to scrub really hard.

I haven't made the laundry detergent yet (have all the supplies--waiting to run out of my Purex naturals soap). I also haven't made the deodorant yet. I just need to order the shea butter and cocoa butter online. And maybe some vegetable glycerin?

Our garden is beautiful. I'm so excited about it. I promise pictures...It's quite a feat for me to go out there, take pictures, upload them, re-upload them to the blog...you know. :)

Sam's cast is breaking through on his heel. Too much scooting, I guess. One more week until an xray that will hopefully show he can bear weight on it. He is so ready, and I am constantly having to remind him to GET OFF OF IT!!!

Dave and I have made plans to go to Kansas City for Memorial Weekend. We are super excited. We haven't had a nice getaway in a couple of years. My awesome brother and his wife will bring their kids and stay with ours. My parents may come help play with grandkids. It'll be nice to know they are with family.

I have planned out several restaurants to eat at (isn't that what vacation is all about?), we are going to hear the symphony play for a FREE show for Memorial Day, we will probably do some pottery stuff (our 8th anniversary is June 2, and the traditional gift is bronze/pottery). We will spend some time at the International House of Prayer (IHOP) in the prayer room and for a time of prophetic ministry. We are really looking forward to our long weekend together.

So, that's my update. You made it to the end. Congratulations!

Shampoo Free--Day Four

2010-04-30T08:18:00.003-05:00

Day 2--Not so bad

Day 3--A little greasy

Day 4--Greaseball. Seriously. It's a little nasty. I'm going to try to stick it out. I read that you can comb corn starch through it to help.

I'm thinking I shouldn't wash my hair every day (unless I run or something)...she implies that on the page, though she doesn't say how often to wash. Hmmm...

We shall see how it goes.

My race is in 9 days.

9. Days.

I was hoping to run today, but I don't know if it will happen due to the weather we are having.

My garden is growing well, but some pesky pests are eating holes in my bean leaves. I am researching some natural pest killers. If you have ideas, I'd love 'em.

I really don't have much to say, but I knew for sure you needed a shampoo update. :)

Shampoo-Free: Day One

2010-04-28T08:56:00.004-05:00

I know you're super excited to read about me not using shampoo. I mean, you want to live vicariously through me, and you might even try it if I'm successful with it. Right?

Nah, you're probably thinking, "That is disgusting, and she is crazy!"

I think you're both right.

I bought a bunch of stuff yesterday to prepare for my making all-natural home cleaners spree, and I was out of shampoo, anyway. Remember, here is the link for how to go shampoo-free. So, I rinsed out my Aveda bottle (which is pretty natural and smells DIVINE), and filled it with one cup of warm water mixed with 1 tbsp. of baking soda. I just used a little bit squirted on my head (b/c it's watery and won't stay in the hand). Let it sit a bit, then rinsed. Voila!

I shower at night (because there is no way I am getting up before 5 to shower) because I have three chilluns who can't be left unsupervised. It works for me. Anyway, I slept on wet hair (don't tell my grandma), and my hair looked just as crazy as it normally does. I got it wet and finger-styled it. Done.

I am going to make the apple-cider vinegar rinse to use a couple of times a week. I may give it a whirl tonight.

My hair feels clean. Dave said it doesn't smell. It was manageable. But, it's still Day One. I'm a bit worried about the greasy de-tox. I have heard it can last a couple of weeks. I'm hoping I don't have to worry about it. At least my hair is short, and I can use barrettes to distract. :)

Who is going to cross-over into crunchy-granola land with me?

In other news, I have not gotten to run since Sunday night. Circumstances have prevented me from doing so. I think I am going to get to go today. I will just modify a bit more.

Sam is getting braver all the time with his leg. He kind of makes me nervous sometimes, and I have had to get onto him about putting weight on it. I am so nervous he is going to reinjure himself.

I now understand the gardening addiction. It is so much fun to see stuff grow. The square foot gardening model makes it relatively painless too--very little weeding. I actually went out and bought a large strawberry plant last night and put it in a pot. I just keep wanting to grow MORE. :) I will get some pictures on here soon.

Happy Wednesday!

Couch to 5K--Week 9--Already!!!

2010-04-26T08:14:00.005-05:00

It is Week 9. I am a bit behind, but my friend, Lee, modified my running plan. Here's what it will look like this week:

Monday: Run 20 min.

Wednesday: Run 10 min, Walk 5, Run 10

Friday: Run 21 min.

Sunday: Run 25 min.

I ran 19 minutes last night and walked 5. It was hard--I wasn't paying close enough attention to my breathing. Once I got it even, it got easier. I was 40 seconds shy of running 2 miles during the 19 minutes. I was very proud of myself. That's a little under a 10-minute mile. I have less than two weeks to be more comfortable running that far. I would still really love to run the whole 5K (3.1 miles), but we shall see. My ankle pain is so-so. We will see if my vitamins do their job.

Also, I am on a "making natural cleaners" kick. It is so cool! I never realized how many cleaning solutions you can make yourself. Last night, I was reading online about clogged drains--our kitchen sink was clogged, and I really hate using and paying for Drano. Most natural sites said that you should first try a plunger--that will sometimes do the trick (or a pipe snake). If not that, then try this:

1 cup washing soda (not baking soda)
3 cups of boiling water

Wash that down the drain, if it doesn't work, chase it with 1 cup of vinegar.

We tried that, and stuff started coming up into the sink--nasty. Dave grabbed the plunger, plunged it once, and skadoosh--the sink drained immediately. Awesome. My sink also looked a lot shinier! The washing soda is awesome. Arm and Hammer puts it out, and it is usually in the laundry aisle. Not all Wal-Marts carry it--you are more likely to find it at a Kroger, Reasors, etc.

Here are some links to other natural, safe, cheaper homemade cleaners:

Furniture Polish (instead of Pledge--which is neurotoxic!!!--who knew?)

Laundry Detergent

Window Cleaner

Dishwasher Detergent

Deodorant (not an anti-perspirant): HERE and HERE (two different kinds)

Shampoo

Isn't it weird to use these homemade cleaners? No, it's just weird that we've been buying stuff (chemical-laden, at that) because the TV tells us to. Or it is what our mom used. Or we don't want to take the time to make them. But seriously, most of of them take a few minutes to prepare. Give it a try, and see how you like it! I am going to!

Also, Sam is doing really well. He's been in his cast for a week now. Only two more weeks to see if he can bear weight on it! He is getting around like a champ. If anything, he has been a little demanding. :)

Our garden is going crazy! Everything has sprouted except for the red bell peppers and the marigolds. We are so excited about it! Yea for fresh veggies!!!

Have a blessed week!

Earth Day and Mildly Interesting Stuff

2010-04-22T06:55:00.003-05:00

So, it is Earth Day. I've been thinking more and more about sustainability practices and making wise choices concerning our planet. I have no idea if global warming is true or not, but that is not my motivation for making greener choices.

As a Christian, I believe it is part of my role as a human to "subdue the earth and have dominion over it." I believe that if I must be a good steward of the earth. So, here are some things I'm thinking about changing:

Being more careful to conserve water--watering my garden from a watering can rather than using the hose, short showers, not leaving the water running in the sink--little stuff.
I am seriously contemplating only buying secondhand clothes--refashioning if necessary.
Learning to can my own food to reduce my waste of tin cans from the grocery store.
Using soaps/detergents that are biodegradable.

I'm sure there are more I'll think of later. I want to somehow remove myself from the consumerist mindset I'm stuck in.

Reduce your waste.

Re-use what you have.

Recycle what you can't reuse.

We can all make a difference, and it will even save you money.

And onto the other mildly interesting stuff...

I ran on Monday. It hurt a bit. I saw my OMT dentist, and he said I have plantar fasciitis. He did some muscular releases on my feet, and my shin splints DISAPPEARED. He did an ankle strap release on my foot, declared my ankle as strained, and then gave me a vitamin. We shall see. I was supposed to run yesterday, but our schedule was biznizzy. It didn't happen. I will go today--at some point.

The race is in 2 weeks. Holy cow.

Our garden is sprouting things!!! We are excited and hoping they all make it! I have uploaded pics from my phone to Facebook, so if you're my friend there and want to see mini-plants, check 'em out!

Give Me a Break with the Bullets, Already!!!

2010-04-19T07:07:00.003-05:00

Here it comes:

My run on Friday was fine except that my right knee, shin, and ankle killed. I did not get to run on Sunday (and not because I'm that guy from "Chariots of Fire") mostly because of circumstances and the weather.
Sam broke his leg on Saturday, but we didn't take him to the hospital until Sunday. We really didn't think anything would show up on the x-ray, but Dave saw something. The radiologist missed it, but then upon reexamination, agreed there was something there. Then, we did a CT scan of his leg which did show a hairline fracture of his tibia.
How did he break it? On a trampoline. It was a bit bizarre, but he got double-bounced and there were two other kids on there (one was a bigger kid). The orthopaedist told my friend (the SAME thing happened to her son when he was 5) that when he came down, there was no give on the trampoline, so it was like falling on concrete. So, even though he didn't fall OFF of the trampoline, he still broke a bone. Sheesh.
I'm trying to figure out what is a good balance as a mom--I don't want to be overprotective of my kids, but I had a BAD feeling about him jumping out there. I didn't want to tell him that he couldn't jump and have fun with the other kids. What do you do in that situation when your intuition says "NO!!!!" Do you listen to it like you would the Holy Spirit??? I just wonder.
I am slowly gathering homeschooling materials. I want to look at math books. I need to search for a fair so I can see them in person. I just want something that will work well with my personality and Sam's learning style (I'm not really sure what that is, either!).
I am finishing The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, and I LOVE IT. If you haven't read it yet, you should. It is delightful--witty and funny, but also serious and sad in parts. It is an interesting reflection on the post-WW2 years.
We bought Sam some Legos to play with during his convalescence. We bought Maryn a Tinkerbell doll so she wouldn't feel left out. We didn't get Lucy anything because she doesn't know. :)
Big news! Lucy gained 14 ounces last month! I switched her to lactose-free milk. I don't know for sure that is what helped, but I am sticking with it for a while. We are thrilled. She is now in the CDC growth chart's 3rd percentile, and the WHO breastfed chart's 10th percentile. Yea!!!
Got to see my niece and nephew this weekend for his 5th birthday party (and my other family too!). It was so great. I love those kids. They are so funny. Especially Case. He says the funniest things. Addison is ADORABLE and chubby all over. I had a hard time not kissing her neck non-stop. :) I see both of her parents in her, but she does look an awful lot like my brother. It's a little weird!

Well, I think that'll do. If you come up with any great ideas for a bored 5 yr. old boy, let me know! So far, he's okay...but 4 weeks is a long time!