Tired

We took the kids to Branson last night. We found a cabin close to Silver Dollar City, and while it wasn't fancy, it was spacious and allowed us to spread out. 

We had to run into town to pick up some coffee and breakfast stuff. Afterwards, we stopped by Andy's Frozen Custard. The kids each had a cone with chocolate custard. Dave had a triple chocolate concrete, and I had a chocolate concrete with Thin Mints. It was soooo good. 

We went to Silver Dollar City pretty early and had some cinnamon rolls. We let the kids play a good while in Half Dollar Holler and then we made our way to The Grand Exposition. Everyone was able to ride something. To our delight, the twins are now an inch over the limit so they were able to ride all the kiddie rides without us. 

We rode the train and had a break before lunch. Dave saw our niece there with her boyfriend, so we were able to meet up. That was a nice surprise. 

Felix was pretty difficult all day. I remember when Maryn was like this and I thought she'd never change. She did, and she is delightful. 

Lucy ran off once at Geyser Gulch, and I almost panicked. After running around a lot, I saw her headed back where the rest of us had been.  

Our last stop before home was the taffy store. Dave went in and picked some out and mostly got one of my favorites--Outlaw Run which is a salted caramel taffy. I am kind of wishing I had gone in because I love the Cotton Candy one too. 

I slept from Branson to Harrison. Milo slept almost the whole way home, and Felix slept about half the time. We are all very tired and ready for bedtime. It was a good day, all in all. 

Blogging? Oh...yeah, I used to do that...

I have thought about blogging.  But not for more than a nanosecond.

The truth, the sad, sad, truth is that I have finally come to a time in my life where I sincerely do not have the time for it!  It was easier when my big kids were little and there were only three of them.  Now that there are five of them and two of them are homeschooling, I have found that I have very little time for anything but life.

I have a house helper, Gemma, who comes to help me a couple of days a week, and she helps with the house and the kids and really whatever I need her to do.  But I am STILL BUSY all day long.  It's weird.  But hey, at least my house looks better than it did, and I am thankful for being able to focus on the kids more than the housework.

I know a lot of people do it alone, and I applaud them.  I suppose I could do it, but I wouldn't be very nice. I'm pretty certain of that.  That's where we were headed about a month ago.  People who have twins will understand me when I say that it really is harder with twins.  Pulling the "twin card" is my new normal.  But honestly, there is no other explanation (except that I may just be crazy???).  So, if I pull the "twin card" with you, just smile and nod and pray for me!

Sam is doing well in school.  I know, not a big surprise!  He's super smart and very inquisitive and thoughtful.  Maryn is also excelling in school and enjoying it so much.  She really loves to be doing her schoolwork.  Sam and Maryn have been spending their free time building a "circus" out in the yard with old firewood.  It's so cute.

I decided to start trying to pottytrain Lucy again.  She will be three in 12 days, and my other two kids did well at 3.  She is no exception.  She had success for two days in a row with a couple of accidents, and then today, she has peed in the potty three times, pooped once, and so far, has had no accidents today!  She is gaining confidence and excitement, and I'm so proud of her.  It really is best to wait until they're ready.

Felix is jabbering a lot.  He also likes to carry toys around in his mouth while he crawls around.  He looks like a puppy.  He is so cute.  I swear he can say "dog."  He is doing well with baby food and some table food.

Milo is starting to screech a lot.  He is also trying to walk.  He's taken many steps, but he usually has to be coaxed.  He is gaining a lot of weight too and looking so cute and chubby.  He LOVES to eat.  I think it is his favorite thing to do.

Both babies are sleeping in their own room.  They aren't sleeping through the night, but at least they're in their own room and Dave and I don't have to tiptoe anymore.

We took a vacation to Oklahoma City and Tulsa and then Northwest Arkansas.  It was exhausting but fun. Maybe someday, I will think about uploading some pictures.  Well, Milo sounds sad, so I better go, but that is what is going on in our lives.  Hopefully, I can find more time for this, but right now, it isn't looking like it!

So Much to Say

I have not blogged in weeks.  I keep thinking about it, but the time and opportunity just hasn't come up.  I've spent much of my free time reading The Hunger Games trilogy, which was fantastic.  I thoroughly enjoyed the series.

I planned out the first six weeks of school for my kiddos.  That was hard, but I'm glad I got it taken care of.  We started school last Monday, and the kids are doing so great.  I will blog about what we're doing homeschool-wise later.

Dave and I have been using one car since May.  We didn't intend for that to happen, but it has, and we're doing fine with it.  We went out one day and looked at trucks, thinking we might get one for Dave and just trade in our old Acura.  But, I didn't have peace about it, and it all felt very rushed, so we stepped back.  We are getting VERY close to paying off the last 1/5 of our student loan debt.  We just didn't want to lose any momentum by adding car debt to the pile.  We decided to fix the Acura.  So, since May, we have been waiting for a good, used engine to present itself so the mechanic can use parts from it to fix the car.  Evidently, they're not getting many leads.  And we wait.

I don't really have anywhere to go anyway, so it hasn't been a big deal.  But, people think we're crazy.  And that's okay.  We're getting closer and closer to our goal.

My twins are 7 months old and getting more and more mobile.  Milo is crawling, sitting up occasionally, and pulling up on things.  He is my earliest mobile child.  Felix is army-crawling and rocking on his hands and knees.  He has FOUR teeth and two more trying to break through.

Sam and Maryn are so stinking smart.  They're crazy good readers and constantly wowing me.  They've been pretty busy making things and playing pretty hard.

Lucy is less destructive these days.  She still occasionally puts things in the toilet, but not nearly as much.  She hasn't colored on the walls in a couple of months.  Progress!!!  I see pottytraining in our future, and I am already ready for it to be over!  :)  She's getting closer to being really ready.  Her speech is improving all the time, and we're starting to communicate better.  She still has melt-downs when I don't understand her, but they are fewer.

Lucy has also taken a liking to grand-daddy longlegs.  Here's one of her buddies:

There is another beautiful garden spider at our house this year.  This one is out by the deck so I don't get to see her as much as I did the one by the window last year.  I think she is amazing.   I don't want to touch her, but I enjoy watching her.

My dear househelp is on vacation in the Philippines.  She will be back at the end of the month.  Thankfully, my friend, Nicole, was able to come help this week.  Last week, I cleaned everything except the hardwoods (I swept but didn't mop).  It was nice to know I could do it, but made me thankful that I don't have to try to do it all regularly.

I am exhausted these days.  I am ready to figure out a way to get more breaks so I can breathe and be refreshed.  Feel free to pray for this in my life.  God knows what I need, and I think He will provide even this.

So, this is my update.  I wish I could keep up better, but I haven't been able to.  I hope to be able to blog about homeschooling very soon.  I am LOVING what we are doing this year, and I look forward to sharing that with you.

Our Memorial Day

 Dave was on call Memorial Weekend, so we stuck around town.  We had thought up a few plans, but when all was said and done, we ended up picking up dinner and heading to the park.

After we ate, the kids ran straight for the swings.  Lucy LOVES to swing.  She would do it forever, I'm pretty sure.

Maryn likes swinging, and can pump her legs really well, but she also loves to swing on her belly.

I gave Sam a few underdogs (remember those?).

By the way, his hair is not long anymore.  We got it cut short for the summer last weekend.  He looks so mature!  I will have to get some pics to put on here.

After the swings, they headed to the merry-go-round.  I liked this picture the best.

While the kids were playing, the babies just chilled in the stroller.  They were pretty good for awhile.

Felix

Milo

Our playground has equipment either as old as I am or older.  Kids don't seem to mind.

The babies started to fuss, so we headed off on a walk.  Our park connects to a walking track by ball fields.  We headed that direction and ran into some acquaintances and stopped to talk.  Lucy began running everywhere and making me nervous.  It's hard to keep an eye on that girl!  I like this action shot--definitive Lucy!!!

Maryn picked some weeds flowers for me.  I let her carry them.  :)

It was a nice, relaxing evening.  I so love my family.

Thank you, veterans, for your sacrifices that make our peaceful lives here possible.

My "Quiet" Life

We have been busy.  I don't like it.  I don't like to be going all the time.  We have resolved to be still after this weekend.  We are going to celebrate Maryn's 5th birthday with our families, and THEN, we will sit still until the end of June.

Maryn turned five on Tuesday of this week.  I can't believe it.  She is 5.  Wow.  Time flies when you have a lot of kids!  It flies and flies and flies, and I wish sometimes it would slow down.  I have tried to make it slow down--spend more time reading with them, playing with them, and cooking with them.  Maryn has fewer meltdowns now than she did even a year ago.  She is maturing.  She is so smart and sweet and nurturing.  She loves to color and draw and ride her bike.  

We bought her a Hello Kitty! backpack for her birthday.  She was thrilled (even though it wasn't a "square backpack with Hello Kitty! on it" but rather a stuffed Hello Kitty! with a zipper for hiding things).  

She also loved her strawberry cake with strawberry frosting and a Hello Kitty! on it (even though I forgot the strawberries AROUND Hello Kitty!).  She is a details-girl.  :)

Lucy is my shadow.  If I don't keep her nearby, I can just about guarantee that something will have crayon on it, and if not that, then something will be wet or sticky.  She is a messy girl.  But, she is funny.  And cute.  And easy to laugh at.  And her grin melts my frustration most of the time.  

She is a mile-a-minute-joy-frenzy.  I will gladly repaint the interior of this house to enjoy her more--and scold less.  Don't get me wrong--she gets her fair share of time-outs and scoldings.  I just forget sometimes that she is TWO and not FIVE or SIX.  Two year olds are messy.  (Must repeat as often as necessary!)

Sam's last day of school is tomorrow!  I am so glad!  We will keep reading, of course, but we will say farewell to math and structured handwriting until August.  I can't believe it--I did it.  I taught my son for a whole school year.  And he is doing well.  SO well.  I do not regret keeping him home.  He is so imaginative, creative, brilliant, and fun.  I have half a mind to get rid of all his toys because he is constantly making toys out of paper and tape.  He doesn't need toys!  

Sam has struggled with fear (in many arenas) since he was nearly three.  We are working on it, but when it rears its ugly head, it isn't so easy to defeat.  One day, he was scared of bugs--out of the blue.  The next day, he's fine.  I looked out the window yesterday and saw all three kids chasing toads that had gotten on the deck.  I think there were about four of them hopping all over.  I had to grab my camera.  No fear of toads!

Felix and Milo are laughing and "talking" to us all the time, now.  It's so fun.  They are so cute.  Their naps are haphazard lately, and that is challenging for me.  I just make do and walk away when I get frustrated.  They really are amazing babies, though.  I couldn't have asked for better babes.  They are forever making a fool out of me as I repeatedly do whatever will make them laugh or smile.  

I am so blessed.

The Littles and The Bigs

I mentioned the other day that I got some alone time (if home with the twins counts!) Monday night.  After Dave and The Bigs left, The Littles and I hung out for a bit.  I laid them on my first ever quilt and snapped a few pics.  They are growing.  But they're still our Littles.

Milo (wearing Sam's old overalls)

Felix (being the chubbiest Geidlbot to date)

This picture makes me laugh.  It looks like they're rolling down a hill.  Milo's face is hilarious.

So, something I've been wanting to get better at is not worrying about The Bigs getting dirty when they play outside.  I don't mind a little dirt here and there, but mudpie dirty is not fun.  I hate giving baths.  Dave is our bath-giver.  But, I want my kids to get to be kids--which means me not hovering over their outside play.  I am not much of a helicopter mom in other arenas--just when it comes to more nasty messes I have to clean up.  So, today, I refused to hover.

And they delivered the mess.

So, I smiled and got the camera and didn't yell or scold.

I first saw Monkey.  He was brownish green.  Then I saw Lucy's mud beard.

NASTY.

Maryn was just kind of dusty.  Not too shabby.

Sam was intentionally using drops of water from the hose to make mud.  

His hands may be a little stained from it.

I gave them a bath.  

It wasn't so bad.

I kept a positive attitude and didn't yell or scold.

And we all survived.

Life Goes On

It's March, and I can hardly believe it.  My babies are 10 weeks old today.  The last couple of nights they have gone 5.5 hours between feedings.  That translates into me getting about 4.5 hours of sleep at once.  I have more of a routine these days.  If I didn't have a schedule, nothing would happen around here.  I'll share it with you though it may bore you to tears.

6:30-7  Wake up and feed the babies (usually).
7-8  Nursing, Burping, Diaper Changing
8  Lay the babies down for naps
8-8:30  Get ready for the day and eat breakfast
8:30-9 Clean up the kitchen and dining room, empty and load the dishwasher, start a load of laundry
9-10  Homeschool
10-11  Nursing, Burping, Diaper Changing
11 Lay the babies down for naps
11-12  Move laundry to dryer, do meal prep for dinner, prepare lunch
12-12:30 Lunch
12:30  Clean up after lunch and get Lucy ready for nap
1--Lay Lucy down for a nap and put her back in bed numerous times
1-2 Nursing, Burping, Diaper Changing
2-4 Somedays I nap, others I crochet or get online, or I watch BBC movies on Netflix (closest thing to "me" time I have)
3--Give kids snacks
4-5 Nursing, Burping, Diaper Changing
5-6 Do whatever needs to be done to ensure dinner is ready by 6.
6-6:30 Dinner
6:30-7 Clean up after dinner
7 Nursing, Burping, Diaper Changing
7-8 Occasional baths, Dave gets the big kids ready for bed and plays.
8-8:30 Showers for me and Dave
8:30-10 We watch TV or Arrested Development on Netflix (or whatever movie we're watching for our project)
10 Nursing, Burping Diaper Changing
3-4 Nursing, Burping Diaper Changing

And it goes on and on.  This is my life.  Thankfully, I don't mind it; it keeps me sane.  It's not easy caring for three kids and newborn twins, but it CAN be done!

So, if you wonder how I do it all, there's my schedule.  I don't clean my house (I hired a VERY reasonably priced housekeeper who comes every other week, and I recently had a friend who is helping on the off week so that it doesn't get too out of hand).  I'm so thankful I am able to do this.  If I wasn't able, I am sure Dave and I would just bust our tails on the weekends.

Life goes on.  People say, "I don't know how you do it."  It's just like any other difficult thing in life--you just DO IT.  We do it because we love these kids--if you don't do it, that's called neglect!!!  You just do what you have to do.  It could be a lot harder, and I am thankful for how smooth it has been so far.  And so you know, you don't have to do it like somebody else--you have got to find your own rhythm.  This is what works for us right now.

Ask me in a couple of months, and I'm sure even this will have changed.

We're surviving.  And perhaps it is premature, but I think thriving is around the corner.

My Wee Valentines

My heart is full.  I never dreamed I would be able to love so many people with so much intensity.  They are all so unique and require such different kinds of love.  I never tire of their smiles.  I am never exasperated by their giggles.  Some people are glad not to be me because I have five children, two of them twins.  I'm glad they're not me, too.  I wouldn't trade this for anything.

I can't imagine my life without my strong and hilarious, Samuel.  He brings us so much joy and laughter.  His wit and wisdom are evident at an early age.  He has a strong sense of justice, and he is the best big brother.  He has taught me so much about grace and forgiveness.

Maryn is the child who helped me become a mother--one who knows her baby, one who listens, one who meets her child's needs without trying to fit her into a box.  To this day, I cannot put Maryn in a box.  She's my sweet, loving, and passionate child.

Sam and Maryn's relationship is so great.  Yes, they fight, but they are the best of friends.  I can't wait to see them grow older together and watch the bond deepen.

Lucy is our joy-bringer.  She brings light and life to our family.  She is a constant reminder of God's redemption to me.  This little one is going to do mighty things for Him.

Felix means "happy," but so far, he has been pretty fussy.  This can only mean one thing--he is an overcomer--a victorious conqueror!  I have no doubt he will live up to his name.  He is seriously precious, and he makes some of the funniest faces.  I have no doubt he will fill our home with strength and laughter.  His shifty eyes are my favorite.

 Milo has the sweetest spirit.  I can't even describe it.  I just feel so much sweetness oozing from him when I'm with him.  He is mellow and generally content.  I have a feeling he is going to be a perfect balance for Felix--strong and supportive and loving.  I love his sweet snuggles.

And I don't want to miss any of it.

And Then There Were Two: Our Twin Birth Story

We made it through Christmas without me going into labor. I was so thankful. I didn't want to miss celebrating Christmas with my older children, and I most certainly did not want to miss celebrating Sam's 6th birthday that evening.

Sunday came, and all was fine. That afternoon, the contractions began. They were irregular but painful. I talked to my midwife, and she suggested a glass of wine to calm my uterus. I had half a glass, and they calmed briefly. I tried to rest just in case this was the real thing. The contractions continued all night, and I barely slept. They were not getting any more regular, but they were still painful, and my back was killing me. I would just about doze off, and then another would come, and I would time it, only to be disappointed that it was not regular.

I had made it to 37 weeks and 4 days. With twins, it is recommended that you make it to at least 37 weeks for their safety. I was nervous about going into labor, though, because we live 75 minutes from the hospital and the babies had not been in the right positions at the last ultrasound. My last labor with Lucy was about 4.5 hours, and it would be dangerous for me to go into labor with the babies in the transverse position (sideways).

I had an appointment that Monday morning anyway, so Dave loaded up the van with all our stuff--just in case--and we headed to Little Rock. My doctor's partner saw me (my doctor was on vacation), and she said I had progressed a little, but not much. She sent us to the hospital for observation.

I really hoped that they would do an ultrasound and discover that Felix was head down. I really wanted to hear that--if not, I had a c-section scheduled for Thursday. I desperately wanted to avoid it. Once I had experienced a natural birth with Lucy, nothing else would satisfy.

Dave wheeled me into labor and delivery, and I heard a mother screaming in pain as she labored. I was excited to hear someone delivering without drugs. A nurse at the counter said, "Don't mind the squealing." I was disgusted at her word choice and her obvious disdain for the patient. Another nurse chimed in, "Yeah, that's what you get when you don't have an epidural!"

"I think she's doing a GREAT job," said I, unable to even look the nurse in the eye because I was so irritated. How unprofessional!!!

Well, the unprofessional nurse turned out to be MY nurse. Ugh. I was a bit snippy with her and not very warm or engaging. I did NOT want to have my babies here!!! I did not want unsupportive staff! She hooked me up to the monitors and everything, and I was still contracting. My back was miserable. She began asking the pile of questions. I answered them. She then asked, "If you will be having a vaginal delivery, will you be having an epidural?"

"No," I replied.

"Have you ever had an epidural before?" she went on.

"Yes, with my first two children," I responded.

"Oh, so you went natural with the third?" she pried.

"Yes, I did."

I think now she may have had a clue as to why I didn't agree with their comments back at the nurse's station. She finally left us alone.

My friend, Marla, was in town for Christmas, and she wrote on my facebook, "You better have those babies while I'm in town so I can come see them!" I didn't even know she was around! I called her and told her what was up. She came up to the hospital and hung out with us while we were waiting around. I had no idea what kind of blessing she was going to be for me that day.

My doctor came in to check on us, and he decided to go ahead and do an ultrasound.

Both boys were BREECH. BOTH.

My heart sank.

This meant one thing only--a c-section.

Then, the doctor asked us what we wanted to do--have one today or wait the three days for the scheduled one? After all, the chances of Felix turning at all at this point were slim to none. I hem-hawed for a minute because I just couldn't say it. I looked at Dave and asked, "What do you think?" Neither of us wanted to say it.

Finally, I said it, "I guess we'll do it today."

After all, our kids were already being cared for, we were in Little Rock, I was approaching labor though I wasn't technically in labor. Labor with breech twins over an hour from the hospital was not a favorable scenario. We would just be turning around to do it in three days anyway.

It was the right thing to do in our situation.

But I still hated it.

And I was scared.

But, God had prepared a plan--a GOOD plan--in advance.

My midwife had flown to California to be with her daughter for a few days, and she planned to return in time for my scheduled c-section. Even though I wasn't having a vaginal delivery, I wanted her to be there so that I would have support while having surgery. She would stay with me while Dave was with the babies. But, since we had decided to go ahead with the early section, she would not be able to be present.

But Marla could be!

I asked her if she would stay for the surgery. She was ecstatic, and she said that she would. I encourage you to read Marla's story sometime, but suffice it to say, she was the BEST person I could have with me (next to my husband, of course!!!) during the surgery.

We were scheduled to have the surgery at 4:30pm. Around 4, Dave and Marla suited up for surgery, and I started to freak out. My mind was a playground for fear. It was overwhelming. I was so nervous about the surgery. I started feeling claustrophobic and anxious. I couldn't be still. Finally, close to 6pm, they came to get me. I had mentioned to Dave that we could just leave. We didn't HAVE to stay!

I got prepped for the surgery, and I felt like I had been abducted by aliens. I'll spare you the gory details, but I will say that lying on a table for the world to see with bright lights above and a bunch of masked people around staring at you is definitely otherworldly and added to my fear and anxiety.

They had to keep giving me more medicine in the epidural because I still had some "hot spots" on my belly where I had sensation. That was a little unsettling! Because they upped my dosage so much, I began shaking uncontrollably, just as I had with my epidurals with Sam and Maryn (which was the first of many reasons I had a natural birth with Lucy). They tried to blame it on the fact that I was giving birth, but I knew better. I didn't have that awful full body shaking with Lucy. They tried counter-acting it with Demerol. I would get temporary relief, but then it would start up again. One anesthesiologist was super sweet and reassuring. I appreciated him.

The boys came out crying and healthy. I don't remember many details, but they did show me the babies. Thankfully, there are pictures that Marla and Dave took so I have proof! Dave said I seemed really subdued and not quite myself while I was in there. I kept remembering a story someone told me about a surgery they had, and unfortunately, his anesthesia didn't work. An angel (he supposes) appeared to him and said, "The kingdom of heaven lies within; go within!" I kept repeating the phrase in my mind, over and over, and just hid myself in the secret place with Jesus. I was so scared, but thinking about Him being with me calmed me.

Felix and Me

Milo and Me

Marla cried out, "NICU is leaving!" I felt relief wash over me to know my babies were healthy. Felix's APGAR was 8/9 and Milo's was 9/9. I was so thankful.

Felix and Milo

Marla stayed right next to me, distracting me while I was being sewn up. Dave stayed with the babies. I was most brokenhearted about not getting to hold my babies right away, next to my skin. But the next best thing was that their daddy was right there with them.

Before I knew it, everything was done, and they moved me to a bed to wheel me back to my recovery room. Evidently, I held the babies as I was wheeled back.

The next couple of hours is a blur. Marla says I kept telling the anesthesiologist that "I loved my natural birth," over and over. That makes me laugh! I don't remember it at all.

I did get to nurse the boys--at the same time, and it was beautiful. They were so alert, and from the start until now, they have been nursing non-stop! They were not sleepy like my other babies had been, only eating once or twice the first day--nope, they ate every 2 hours (or less than 2!).

I was glad when the fog began to clear for me, and I could enjoy my boys. Dave has been my true partner. I never have to wonder if he's going to help me with breastfeeding or diaper changes or soothing sad babies. He jumps in with both feet. I am so thankful he is a hands-on daddy.

The boys are growing SO well. They are getting big--FAST. In the first two weeks, Felix gained 1.5 lbs and Milo gained 1.25 lbs! They are not identical, and we have been able to tell them apart since the 2nd day of their life (the 1st day was a little harder!).

Milo and Felix

Felix (happy, blessed, fortunate) Josiah (fire of the Lord; healer) was the firstborn--smaller than Milo, but definitely a firstborn. He's been fussier than Milo and more tense. He has deep set eyes, and he makes the funniest face where his eyes move back and forth. We call him "Shifty Eyes." He is so sweet and has a tiny head. He is a BLESSING from the Lord, and he is part of the healing God has done in our hearts after losing a baby last year.

Felix Josiah

Milo (merciful and generous) Zane (God is gracious) was our secondborn. He is a chunk. Geidl babies are long and skinny, and we've yet to have one that is a roly-poly butterball. I don't know if Milo will be that baby, but he is getting heavy!!! His cheeks might weigh a couple of pounds by themselves! He's generally pretty content and quiet, but the last week, he has showed us he can scream with the best of 'em! His hair is reddish (not nearly as red as Samuel's, but definitely reddish) and he looks a lot like Samuel did as a baby. He is such a gift of mercy and grace--not just one baby but TWO!!! Milo was our second blessing in this pregnancy--the gift we didn't expect. He is a picture of restoration for us.

Milo Zane

Thank you for supporting us prayerfully in our journey. Please continue to do so!!!