Time is passing rather quickly, it seems. The first day of Fall is on Wednesday, and after that season passes, my babies will be here. It is hard to believe I have between 3-4 months left.
I feel anticipation and anxiousness when I think about going into labor. I am excited for them to arrive, but I don't want them to come too early. The longer they stay in, the healthier they'll be. There is that in-between waiting that is just hard. I am growing by the second, and I have a hard time imagining what I'm going to look like in December.
Deformed. I'm sure I'll look deformed.
That's okay; I have a good reason. :)
I've also found that I've been much more quiet about this pregnancy. I rarely call the boys by their names to other people. I don't know why. I just say "the boys." I think perhaps I am savoring the knowledge of the two of them in my womb. Since I get to have ultrasounds so frequently, I have a pretty good handle on where each boy is positioned. I can think of them in terms of "Felix just kicked me," or "Milo has the hiccups." It's a special bond between the three of us.
I wonder what they'll look like. Will they be identical? Will one of them have red hair like Sam? Will they look different enough that I don't confuse them?
Sam and Maryn are excited about their arrival. I'm a bit nervous for Lucy. She is a mama's girl, and I wonder if she'll be too jealous or clingy. I hope not. I hope she'll be excited to run and get me things I need. We are planning to move her into Sam and Maryn's room in the next few weeks. The party will probably last for a month or two. I'm hoping she is secure and sleeping well in their room by the time Felix and Milo arrive.
I'm holding out hope for help. I am praying that God will send some people to help us with the older children and meals. I really DON'T want people to come who just want to hold the babies; I want REAL HELP. I will be spending a lot of my time feeding the boys, and it would be nice to know that my other children are not running around like crazy people.
I'm so thankful for God's grace in all this. He knows what we need, and I can see that it won't be easy, but I know HE will be faithful to us and help us when we need it. He's a really good Father.