The Goodbyes

Goodbyes are sometimes AWESOME--like when you can't wait to leave a place.

But, most of the time, they're AWFUL--like when you don't want to leave people.

Our goodbyes have begun, and there are an awful lot of them. We said our formal goodbyes to the attending physicians and their wives two weeks ago at a banquet. That was okay, but still not fun. Last night, we said our goodbyes to our small group (of which only half the members were present thereby requiring more goodbyes when we can meet up with the missing members).

In this process, I've discovered something. Saying goodbye is only hard when you've invested yourself. If you never make an effort to invest in people's lives--you stay holed up in your house only interacting with people on a surface level, then goodbyes shouldn't be hard for you. It's only when you are transparent and vulnerable with people that saying goodbye to them is hard.

When you sow sparingly, you reap sparingly. If you don't invest yourself in relationships, you will not get a good return. If you want to have meaningful relationships, you must sow generously and that is not just with time--it is with your very self. Being vulnerable with people isn't easy, and it is something that should be reserved for trustworthy friends. You certainly don't throw your life out there for any person on the sidewalk.

But, if you want to have meaningful relationships, you have to be real with people. You have to spend quality time with them. You have to encourage them. You have to allow people to see you struggle and see you conquer. You have to let go of the tendency to only do what works for you. You have to consider others better than yourself--their needs above yours (and do you really know what you need?). You have to allow them to see you without your makeup and in those hideous sweats you can't bear to part with.

You have to GIVE yourself.

You have to DENY yourself.

You have to BE yourself.

So, when the time to say goodbye comes, I hope that you can say it was hard. Because if it's easy, you're missing out.

Remember Me.

When the day just isn't starting out right...
When the illness isn't subsiding...
When the money isn't there...
When the reconciliation just isn't happening...
When the cupboards are bare...
When the children won't obey...
When the car won't work...
When the friends turn their backs...
When the death doesn't make sense...

Remember.

Psalm 77:7-15, "Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"

"Selah." (stop and listen)

"Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High."

"I will remember the deeds of the LORD;

yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago."

"I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? "

"You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph."

"Selah." (stop and listen)

Psalm 103:1-5, "Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."

He's more than enough, people. He's big enough. He's strong enough.

And He won't forget.

Show Yourself

Okay, so I know a bunch of peeps are visiting my blog b/c of my little counter. So...show yourself. I'm curious who still reads my blog. I ain't gonna lie--I love me some comment love. You guys needs to show it!

Nah...really, I wanna know who is reading and if you care about my ramblings and to-do lists. Or...do you have any requests?

Not a piano bar, just a blog. For realz.

So, Maryn has an ear infection. I got about 3.5 hours of interrupted sleep last night. I fell asleep about 1:30. I got up and fed Lucy at 3:45. Went back to bed around 4. Got up with Maryn at 5:30 and never got to back to sleep because Sam was up at 6:15. Maryn is just pitiful when she is sick. Her fever got up to 103.2 (under the arm) last night. She whimpered like a little puppy all night long. She's napping now. I'm about to feed Lucy and take a nap myself. I need some sleep!

Okay, there's the update. Now, tell me you stopped by!!!!!

Things We've Been Doing

It's raining. Drenching kind of rain, you know? It's actually slowing down as I type. The kids are BORED. I've packed away a lot of things, so it is forcing us to be creative. Yesterday, I started to make lunch, and I realized we didn't have any bread. Dave also had the car. So, the kids ate a low-carb lunch with ham and turkey, pears, and carrots. Then, Sam and I made bread.

I found this recipe online, and I LOVE IT. I am not a bread-making pro and would appreciate some tips on kneading the dough and getting it to rise (I don't have a bread machine anymore, and don't plan on buying one...I also don't own a Kitchenaid mixer with a dough blade...AND my food processor dough blade is a wimp, so yes, I need tips on how to do it by hand.). That was the longest parentheses ever, I'm pretty sure.

Anyway. Aside from all that hullabaloo, the bread actually turned out alright. It uses half whole-wheat flour and half white flour, but there are directions for making it 100% whole-wheat. I only had enough wheat flour for the original recipe. It is delish.

See?

Maryn painted some watercolors in her Dora paint book, but Sam wasn't having it. So, I told him to make a game. I gave him a pack of round garage sale stickers, some paper, scissors and a pen. Not sure how to play just yet, but I'm sure (positive) the rules will change 100 times.

Then, Maryn wanted something NEW to do. So, I gave her scissors and an old magazine to cut pictures out of. That lasted 3 minutes. I'm not kidding. In fact, now, she is sitting on the floor huffing and puffing and won't tell me what she needs/wants.

And this book was a godsend. My Great-Aunt Kathy gave it to Maryn for her birthday. It's been delightful to read to the kids. It has all the great Seuss stories in it.

I'm washing diapers. Lucy is supposed to be napping. I just found her gnawing on the crib bar...wondering if more teeth may pop through soon.

Dave gets off early today, and we're going on our date later. We're torn between seeing "Up" without the kids or seeing "Angels and Demons". We were both disappointed with "The Da Vinci Code". It could have been SO much better. It didn't do the book justice. I'm speaking from merely an artistic point of view--the content is fairly deplorable. But..."Angels and Demons" will more than likely be at its best on a big screen...hmmm....any recommendations?

I did get everything on Craigslist and Freecycle. I've had several inquiries and promised pickups. We'll see.

Now Maryn is all-out crying and REFUSES to communicate with me. Does anyone have any tips for the stubborn child who has the vocabulary of a much older child but refuses to talk when she is upset???? Well, I just discovered...she has a fever, and an ugly throat. Waiting for Dave to call back...hope it isn't strep.

Off to make lunch!

Moving Right Along

I've gotten a lot accomplished since we last spoke. I've gotten all the utility set-up and disconnects taken care of. I found a satellite ISP since we live out in the boonies and can't get cable internet or DSL. Moving truck/movers is established and scheduled. I've changed addresses where I can. Some I have to wait on. Talked to the bank about new checking accounts. We're keeping our current cell service. We still haven't decided if we're getting satellite TV or not. Part of me says "yes!" so that we can have Oscar parties and Superbowl parties, but we rarely do that anyway...so "no!" seems more acceptable. All of the shows we watch are online...and our TV screen is about the same size as our computer monitor anyway (I'm not kidding.). I just measured them. Our computer monitor is 17" and our TV screen is 19". Yeah, the 2" doesn't make too much difference.

So that's going well. I've continued packing. I love packing. I'm good at it, too. I think I get it from my mom. I don't know how, but I did. She and I both know how to pack things really efficiently--the dishwasher, the trunk of a car, a suitcase. You name it. It must just be how our brains work. I can make it fit. I bet I could win a packing contest, too.

I've got a few things on the calendar as well. Date night tomorrow night...trying to decide what movie to watch. I'm guessing it will either be "Angels and Demons" or "Land of the Lost". We're saving "Up" for netflix with the kids. May go to OKC to see Sweesha. Birthday party for Funke on Sunday. Small group goodbye sometime next week. 2 or 3 baby showers. 2 more weeks at church. :( Last book club. :( Get to see David Asher this evening. Still need to work in all those other goodbyes...

Made some iced coffee this morning. Yum.

Dave and I went to bed before 10 last night. I can't remember the last time BOTH of us were in bed before 10. That :never: happens.

Today I have some Craigslist goals. I need to photograph several items and get them all posted on there. I really need to sell some stuff before we move. Well, I think I've overstayed my welcome in this post, so I'll mosey along and get stuff done. xoxo