Plans and Open Hands

Planning for the birth of a baby is challenging, especially when you already have children. Planning for the birth of TWO babies (at the same time!) is even more challenging and ESPECIALLY when you have three older children.

I have felt every emotion possible this past week: happy, overwhelmed, excited, thankful, scared, nervous, and a little loony.

I have comforted myself with the knowledge that God has chosen this for our family. He has blessed us with this amazing gift of two children at once. He is wise. He also knows how pressure draws us closer to Him. Trusting Him in this will be a lesson all in itself!

Right now, I am trying to decide which doctor I will go with. I am doing my best to research them ahead of time instead of doing several interviews since we live an hour away. It hasn't been really easy, and some offices have been more cooperative than others. I've called hospitals and talked about their policies for multiple births. I am still waiting to hear back from a couple of doctors.

I want what is best for my children. I want them to be healthy, though I know that isn't a guarantee or a proof of God's goodness. He is good no matter how healthy they are. I do want to plan the best possible situation for them to be born in. I feel that if I fail to plan for the best possible situation, then it will certainly NEVER happen. Things may not go the way I plan, and I know that, and I'm okay with that, but if I don't plan for the best, then that reality is not a possibility.

I am daily reminding myself that I am not in control. I don't have to be in control. I don't know how early they'll be born. I don't know how much they'll weigh. I don't know if they'll nurse well. But if I don't take care of myself, then the chances are, they'll be born earlier, weigh less than they should, and probably struggle with nursing. So, wouldn't I be foolish to not prepare for the BEST and take care of myself?

I think the same thing goes for my birth plan. I want to have a vaginal delivery. It is statistically the better option for both mom and baby. I want to work towards that. I realize it may not happen. One of my wiggly children may decide to turn some funny way at the last minute. I know that. I am prepared for that.

I want to have a natural birth if possible. The fewer medications in my body=the fewer medications in their bodies. It is also an amazing experience for all involved. My experience with Lucy was so amazing, and the bond and connection we shared was very different from my other births. Do I love my other children less? No. Absolutely not. But the experience has changed our relationships. I can't deny that. I don't need to defend natural childbirth--there's a plethora of information that shows how much better it is for mom and baby, breastfeeding, and postpartum recovery.

I have already felt the criticism of others for wanting to plan in this direction--as if I would totally disregard my children for what I want. That kind of judgment goes straight to my heart--that I would prefer myself over my kids. I will do what is best, and I trust that the Lord will give me wisdom and discretion for each situation.

In the meantime, I will continue to search for the best doctor and hospital for me and my babies. I am so thankful for a husband who supports me in my decisions and who isn't afraid to tell me if something makes him uncomfortable. We are in this TOGETHER, and we will press forward in this adventure regardless of the criticism.

Change of Plans

Well, we are no longer planning a homebirth. We are sad about it, but our midwife will not continue our care...for a very good reason.

We are having twins.

That is right. I am not even joking. We just found out today at our ultrasound. We had a resident friend do one for us since we haven't had one yet.

All week, I have been wondering if there were two babies instead of one. I believe my spirit knew what my mind did not--the Lord was preparing me for this great news!



Here they are!!!

Our next step is to find a doctor who won't insist upon a c-section unless absolutely necessary. Thankfully, my midwife is going to be able to be my support during delivery and be my go-between for hospital staff as well as helping support me with breastfeeding them.

We appreciate your prayers!!!

The Provision

In the grand scheme of things, bunk beds are pretty low on the list. I must say, though, that we distinctly felt His provision for them yesterday.

I had done plenty of online research of several stores in the nearest city, and my conclusions were that if we were to buy metal bunkbeds, bunky boards, mattresses, and pay to have them delivered, we would spend at least $800.

I did not want metal bunk beds. I'm sure there isn't anything wrong with them, they just don't seem as sturdy as wooden ones. But, we certainly did not want to spend even $800 and certainly not for metal bunk beds.

I checked Craigslist. Most bunkbeds with used mattresses were going for $500. We didn't want used mattresses, but most folks wanted us to take the mattresses with the beds.

So, we went on our adventure yesterday morning. We were both dreading the idea of wandering from store to store and back again just comparing prices and trying to get a good deal. It just sounded exhausting. We went downtown first because we knew of three furniture stores we wanted to check out there. The first store we went to was closed. Closed on Saturday. Seriously?

As we were driving back around, we saw a store that wasn't even on our list--Bates Furniture. It was in an old building downtown and didn't look fancy. We get in, and the lady comes right up and asks what we're looking for.

"Bunk beds. We're just shopping around and trying to get an idea of what we want to buy."

She takes us to the back of the store, and shows us what she has in stock. The first picture she showed us was everything we wanted:

Twin/Full
Solid Wood
Ladder
Rail
Drawers Underneath
MATTRESSES INCLUDED

For $550.

That is right.

I am not even kidding.

$550.

They would also provide setup and delivery for $75.

This is awesome considering we don't own a truck and couldn't rent a U-Haul for less than $90. And we'd rather have people set them up that are used to setting them up!!!

We walked out of there so relieved that our task was OVER and we had saved so much money. At another store I had talked to, they would have been able to give us all the same stuff for--get this--$1200.

We paid HALF.

God is a provider, and I am thankful.

A Really Uninteresting Post

I don't really have anything interesting to say. I hope to contradict myself, but that would be surprising.

I feel time is flying pretty quickly. My kids are growing. My belly is growing...mostly with fat. No really. It's funny to me that anyone would assume there's a baby in there since it is only the size of a plum. My belly is sure a lot bigger than that! It doesn't really bother me, but I don't want to wear maternity clothes yet. It was exciting to wear them with Sam (which I didn't get to do until I was 20 weeks). I'm wearing maternity stuff today at 10 weeks...I also need to do laundry. I just don't enjoy the looks on people's faces when I tell them I'm still in my first trimester. The cashier at Wal-Mart thought for sure I was four months pregnant. Ha! My abs just aren't what they used to be. :)

I'm considering giving the potty a try with Lucy. She almost peed on it last night. By almost, I mean she stood up from it and peed on the floor. She started crawling out of her bed yesterday. I have never had this issue. Neither of my big kids did that. She is a monkey. She is so tiny too. It amazes me she did it. As a result, we are going to move her to a toddler bed soon and put the big kids in bunk beds. So, this weekend, we will be shopping for bunk beds. I was hoping for a twin/full combo. But DANG, bunk beds are not cheap! I also want sturdy wood ones instead of metal construction. It wouldn't be too bad if we didn't have to buy the mattresses too. I saw a few on Craigslist that looked appealing, but we're not super thrilled with buying used mattresses. Does that gross out anyone else? If you live in my area, do you have any good recommendations on places to buy them? I have looked at several stores online, and I've found a few things that I like, but it looks like the cheapest is going to be about $800 for everything. What I want to buy is about $1200 total, and I just can't stomach that! And it appears, most folks on Craigslist want you to take their mattresses too.

I am thankful my kids have places to sleep. And a roof. And food. And more toys than any of us want them to have. I'm such an American.

Helicopter Parenting

Pardon me, if you and I have had this conversation; it may be boring for you to read this.

There's a trend I (and some magazines I've read) have noticed among parents currently--helicopter parenting. It is hovering over your children while they play and constantly directing them, re-directing them, and micro-managing every activity in order to have a controlled environment. This also leads into organizing activities to entertain children. ALL DAY LONG.

These parents cannot have a phone conversation with another human being because they are too busy hovering. These parents cannot get anything done around the house because they are too busy controlling their child's every move. These parents find themselves at their wit's end because they don't have anything planned for their kids to do today, and they're running out of ideas!

Well, I tried to be this kind of parent because I felt guilty for not doing as much with my kids as "so-and-so" was doing with her kids. It didn't work for me. I have always enjoyed letting my kids play in their room with their toys uninterrupted. I get more accomplished that way! I also have noticed that my kids sense that I trust them to handle situations. Occasionally, one will run and tattle on the other one. If I don't feel that it is a severe situation, I will tell them to work it out. If I think they need a mediator, I will step in. I don't ignore them--not entirely, at least. I just don't think it is very easy to be a kid when a grown-up is constantly there bossing you around.

I boss my kids around enough outside of their play time. I have nothing against play groups or outings--hear me out--but I wonder why so many moms feel like they have to be involved in so many activities. I take my kids to the library, sometimes. :) I go over and we play at friend's houses, sometimes. I just don't know for sure that it is always best to constantly try to find a way to occupy them. Plus, your kids learn that they must be entertained in life. And we all know, as adults, entertaining yourself endlessly only leads to sin.

Isn't childhood about playing and make-believe?

My kids spend most of their awake time doing one of three things--playing pretend, coloring, and playing outside on their bikes or in the dirt. Isn't that what adults miss about childhood? Would you miss it if you knew that the entire time a parent would be correcting everything you did while you were trying to have fun?

Now, I will say this: I believe it is my job as a parent to lead my kids in a God-ward direction. I do not allow my children to have a life free of consequences--just the opposite. I hand out consequences all day. However, I don't feel it is my job to make my kid feel like he/she is inadequate at living life. I won't correct EVERYTHING they do. I won't try to protect EVERYTHING we own. I will allow my kids to fail--that is a consequence in and of itself.

I have heard the other extreme of this--free range kids. A lady in NY let her 8 yr old (approx.) ride the subway alone in NYC. That is just stupid. You certainly must not put your children in situations where great danger could befall them. They have been entrusted to us. You cannot deny parental responsibility--and we must not neglect our children.

I hope to be somewhere in the middle on this one. What about you?