Recommendations for Twins

I currently know four people in my circle of friends who are having twins!  In thinking about what it was like to be pregnant with twins, I thought it might be a blessing for them to know how I did it.  Of course, they may not care, and that's okay too, but just in case they want advice from someone who is a few steps ahead, here are some recommendations based on my experience.

1.  If you're breastfeeding, get this nursing pillow.  It is great.  Once I had them latched on, I was hands-free!  It's awesome.  It is generous in size, and I have used it from the time I got home with the boys.  Now, my boys were term and Felix weighed 6 lbs 12 oz, and Milo weighed 7 lbs 5 oz, so they were not teeny tiny preemies.  This may not work for you until they get bigger if yours end up coming early.  But I love it, and STILL use it and my boys are 9 months old.

Double Blessings Twin Nursing Pillow (stock photo from doubleblessings.com)

2.  I wanted a lightweight, inexpensive double stroller.  Another twin parent recommended a side by side as one twin may not like being behind the other and want to be able to see out.  This sounded reasonable.  You can spend as much as you want on a stroller.  Evaluate what you'll use it for.  I knew I would use mine either for a walk on a track, the mall, the zoo, or running errands.  I would not be jogging with it, so I knew I could buy something cheaper and not as awesome.  Plus, I live on a gravel road off of a state highway, so I knew I wouldn't be strolling regularly.  I went with the Jeep double umbrella stroller, got it at stroller.com for $70 in May with free shipping.  The sunshades are a joke, but I have been pleased with the stroller for the price.

Jeep Wrangler Twin Sport Umbrella Stroller (photo courtesy of stroller.com)

3.  Nutrition is the MOST important component of managing a twin pregnancy.  This book was amazing, and I attribute my healthy outcomes both to God and to following the high protein diet in this book.

When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy


4.  Schedule help.  Dave was able to be home with us for two weeks.  50% of twins are born by c-section, so having help is even more imperative.  Regardless of how you birth your twins, you MUST rest for a month afterwards if at all possible.  My midwife, who provided me with nutrition and breastfeeding advice, said I needed to sleep as much as possible for the first month--no housework--just sleep, eat, and nurse the babies.  I have three older children under the age of 6.  I did not know how this was going to work, especially after Dave went back to work.  So, I made a calendar and divided the days he wouldn't be here into two sections: 8am-12pm and 1pm-5pm.  People would mention in passing, "I'd love to help you when the babies come" or "Just let me know how I can help."  So, I made sure that I got all their names written down along with their phone numbers, emails, and times they were available to help.  Then, each week, I would contact people to fill in those time slots.  Making them 4 hr time slots seemed more doable and less overwhelming for people, and praise God, I only ever had to be alone with all 5 children TWICE in that first month.  I didn't have a full day alone with all of them until the beginning of February.  I got plenty of rest.  They watched the older children, made them lunch, fed them snacks, helped pick up around the house, made me lunch, helped me change and burp the twins.  It was amazing.  I would not have made it without my team of helpers that first month!  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  You cannot and should not try to do this alone.  It will keep you from getting depressed and overwhelmed.

5.  Freeze meals.  I had two weeks of meals that were brought to my home by friends and church members.  But, I knew that eventually, the meals would stop.  So, about a month before the babies were due, my friend, Tina, came over and helped me put a bunch of meals in the freezer.  For two weeks, I bought two of everything and made double of every meal and froze half.  By the time the twins came, I had 17 meals in my freezer.  I have a LARGE freezer, but I also have a small deep freeze.  You can get a small deep freeze for about $150.  It's worth it.

6.  If you can afford it, hire a housekeeper.  I hired Miss Emelyn about a month before the twins came.  She and her sister or her niece come every other week.  She does anything I need her to do--dishes, laundry, all cleaning, help with the kids or the babies.  They are amazing.  I would not make it without them.  I recently had to clean my house (all the way) by myself while they were on vacation.  I survived it, but I was super overwhelmed by all that I had to do.  I knew that hiring her was cheaper than therapy! I also love having her around; she is a blessing to our family.

7.  And, if you can do this, it will make everything better--keep your twins on the same feeding and napping schedule.  Ours is not hard core or strict, by any means, but they ALWAYS eat at the same time, and I lay them down for naps at the same time.  This has given me the time I need to rest and recharge and to homeschool my older two children.  This was by far one of the best decisions I have made.

I hope you find all of this helpful, and if you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to ask.  Your twins will bless you more than you even know!!!

Has It Been Over A Week?

Wow, I stopped by my blog to look at my sidebar and see what was new with everyone, and I discovered that I haven't updated in 8 days. Sheesh. Sorry about that. My midwife says I have "placenta brain." Sounds kind of gross.

Well, I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow. I had a good visit with the doctor on Monday. Everything looked good--blood pressure, heartbeats, unchanged cervix. So, I really don't have anything to report--unless you want me to talk about the pain in my pelvis...

I can't believe I've made it this far already. I know for sure that my boys will be here within a month. The doctor definitely won't let me go over 40 weeks, and if these little boogers don't move, then they'll most likely be here by the end of the year. So, really, they could be here in 2 weeks. That's crazy.

I'm not really nesting. I had a spot of it a couple of weeks ago and got everything washed (with Em's help--she's my housekeeper) and ready for the room that they won't use for a while! :) When I think about what I need to do, it overwhelms me, so I just tell myself everything will work out. My, how I have changed!

Here's my mental list:

• Make a list of all the people who have volunteered to help and organize the days/numbers so they can be called in for reinforcements.
• Install the car seats in the van and make sure that Lucy's seat will actually fit in the rear seat with Sam's and Maryn's booster seats.
• If the above doesn't work, I guess we need to look for an alternative??? God altered physics for us when we put three in the backseat of our Acura Legend (one infant carseat with a base, a convertible car seat, and a booster seat); we're praying He does it again!!!
• Pack a bag for the hospital.
• Have definite child care arrangements in place.
• Revise the birth plan.
• Have a sheet explaining the kids' schedule and favorite foods and where things are located.

Will I actually accomplish these? I do not know. But, at least it's a start!

Sacrificing Plans for Peace

I went in for my ultrasound yesterday to check out the boys' sizes and positions. Well, the little boogers have both gone transverse (that's sideways...and babies don't come out sideways, just so you know). There is still time for them to move, and my OB/Gyn friend told me that transverse is the most unstable position. Sooooooo, I am praying at least Felix will move into a head down (vertex) position.

Their measurements were funny to me because the margin of error is now up to 1 lb. :) There are some doctors out there that will make decisions to induce or c-section a baby based on their size from the ultrasound. That is not wise. Find a different doctor if your doctor does that! The margin of error is too great! And...off the soapbox. Anyway, Felix measured 5 lbs. 9 oz, and Milo measured 5 lbs. 14 oz. So technically, they are somewhere between 4.5 and 7 lbs. That's a big window!!! Either way, they're growing well, and I'm thankful.

I am retaining a lot of fluid, but my blood pressure has been consistently great and there was no protein in my urine. I'm just huge. I measured about 41.5 cm at 34.5 weeks. And I gained 12 lbs in 2.5 weeks!!!!! Crazy. Like I said, I'm retaining fluid....and the babies measured two lbs. bigger than they did a month ago! Just crazy.

As for plans, anything could happen. Anything. It is a bit unsettling to realize that any scenario could take place. They could both turn vertex, and I could have a vaginal delivery. Felix could turn vertex, and I could deliver him vaginally, but if they're unable to get Milo to turn, then I could have him breech...unless he won't come out breech and something goes wrong, and then I could have an emergency c-section. Or...neither one turns, I go into labor, get to the hospital and have an ultrasound and head to c-section, or neither turns, and I will have a scheduled c-section on Dec. 30th when I am 38 weeks.

Too many scenarios to think about.

This is stretching for me. I like to be in control, and I'm not. I've lived under the illusion often in life that I am, but I'm not. Maybe you do that too. I don't know, but one thing is certain--Jesus loves me.

That's right. Jesus loves me. As I was praying over this situation yesterday, I asked Him to speak to my heart the truth it needed to hear, and what He said came in the words of one of my favorite songs, "I am my Beloved's and He is mine, so come into Your garden and take delight in me, take delight in me...Here in your presence, God, I find my rest; here in your presence, God."

No matter what is going on around me, I can find my peace and my rest in Him. He loves me, delights in me, and wants me to rest in Him and enjoy Him.

I am really okay with that.

Just checkin' in.

Wish I had more to say. I am checking in to say, "Hello!" and then I will disappear again for a bit.

I am really tired. My friend, Tina, helped me make up five different meals today, and we did double portions and froze half. I am EXHAUSTED. It was really wonderful though, both to see her and visit and get so much accomplished today.

I think I am going to hold off on extra cooking for now. I'm too big to be on my feet for this long at a time. I am estimating that I have about 17 meals in my deep freeze for now. This will come in handy once the delivered meals have ended.

I am feeling alright. I have made it to 34 weeks today. I am praying for 3 more. I slept better last night than I have in awhile. The boys moved somehow off of my pelvis and I don't feel as much pain there. That is a blessing. I go to the doctor, ultrasound, and midwife on Monday, so I'll have more news then as to how things are going. I appreciate your prayers.

Well, it is time for me to go supervise the kids as they clean up their room. The house helpers will come tomorrow; I can't wait. I am going to kick back.

Adios!

My Quiet Life

It's cold. It is 28 degrees. I am wearing socks--this is monumental. Socks typically make my feet hot, and then my whole body overheats (even if I'm not pregnant). This has only been happening to me for a few years-kinda strange.

Our leaves have turned and are halfway gone. It's time to get warm and cozy and stay in the house--thankfully, I now enjoy this part of life.

There are a few new things with us:

• I sprained my foot last weekend. It still hurts to walk on it, and there is still some swelling--not much, but enough that it makes my shoe too tight. There are some pretty purple and blue bruises on it as well. Festive.
• Baby A (Felix) is now breech. He flipped. We are praying he flips back over or I will be having a c-section. I have heard some stories of twins with the first breech that turned out alright, but I've also heard otherwise. Bottom line: my doctor doesn't feel comfortable with it, and he is comfortable with breech deliveries--just not with the first twin. So, if you would, pray that Felix turns over. Either way, things will turn out alright, but it is hard to deal with the reality of it all. I'm getting there--slowly.
• My emotions are out of control. Steer clear.
• I wish my body wasn't so cumbersome right now; I would love to be taking walks in this fine weather. Instead, I just look out the window. When I walk, I feel like Godzilla or Frankenstein. In fact, we had to do some grocery shopping last night, and for the first time ever, I drove a motorized cart. It was great.
• My life is quieter now than it has ever been in the friendship department. This isn't a bad thing, although it is an adjustment. I'm learning with this codependency thing how often I was turning to friends for fulfillment instead of Christ. I have by no means arrived, but I am catching myself about to pick up the phone, and then I will stop and take it to Him first. It isn't easy. I am thankful for my friends who have let me "get it all out," but I am even more thankful that they aren't assuming His place in my life.
  
• I've purged my facebook a couple of times to either get rid of those I never talk to or those who try to fix me. It's been good so far. I am also being much more reserved in accepting friend requests from people that I don't really know that well or people that I don't think need to be seeing so much of what I say. :)
• My husband has been working extremely long hours (especially for someone who is finished with his training!), and it is wearing on all of us. I am thankful that in a month or so, his nurse practitioner will return from maternity leave and lighten the load a little bit. We've had some disturbing news about his call schedule for the next year, and we're praying for God to send some relief. We need relief in so many areas...
• We have decided to look for a different body of believers. Things were pretty crazy where we were at, and we didn't have peace about staying in that kind of environment. We felt things were not being handled in a Biblical manner, and we don't feel like it is a healthy place to be. We love the people we connected with and will continue to love them.

It is quiet, Dave is off for the first day in a few weeks, so I am going to go drink something decaf and hot next to him on the couch while he plays a game on his phone. ;)

What We're Doing

What we're doing about Halloween:

We aren't the celebratory type when it comes to scary stuff, so we are buying some candy, stuff for s'mores, and we're building a bonfire in our yard. We're gonna veg out with our kids and make ourselves a little sick with sweets. You are welcome to join us.

What we're doing about getting ready for babies:

We are buying a bunch of stuff. We haven't registered anywhere--too much hassle. We've got our carseats which is huge. We are contemplating having them in the pack and play in our room, but it won't fit well on the side of the bed. Anyone want to make me a cradle? I didn't want to pay $150 for a bassinet. Will be checking into co-sleepers as a cheaper alternative. I've got sheets, mattress pads, towels, washcloths. What do we need? Clothes. And I need to buy the rest of the cloth diapers I will need. I'll use disposables until they're about 8-9 lbs. I guess we need those too.

What we're doing for my birthday?

Ask Dave. He better come up with something good. :) Look out 31.

And Lucy's birthday???

I'm planning a party for her a few days before OUR birthday. Yes, we share our birthday. So, party for her, and I get Birthweek 2010.

What we're doing for Thanksgiving:

Dave's mom and grandma are coming to cook. Dave is on call. I plan on watching the parade.

What we're doing about Sam's Christmas Birthday:

Well, it all depends on when these boys arrive. I would like to have a party for Sam with some of his friends a few weeks before Christmas. I'll be 37 weeks on Dec. 23rd, so I could have babies by Christmas Day or maybe not! I have no clue. This one is being played by ear. As is Christmas. I am planning on a fake tree this year because it may be a while before we're able to take one down. :)

What we're doing about Christmas gifts:

I don't know. We're thinking donations to charities in people's names. We did this one year before, and we didn't get much reaction...don't know if that was good or bad! Whatever we do, it's gotta be simple.

What we're doing about staying sane:

We are taking life one day at a time--with as much pre-planning as possible! :) No, really, we are not worrying and fretting over how things are going to go once our darlings are born. We are learning to be content and trust our Father to provide what we need in terms of help and sleep and childcare. We are trying to enjoy our time with our three children before life gets crazy. We are hoping we can stay focused on our Father and His love in the midst of all of these changes. He has been so good and faithful and kind to us, and we are so thankful for Him.

Just Call Me "The Homeschooling Hermit"

Cooler weather has come to our region and with it, I am finding myself becoming a hermit. It is much easier for me to stay at home than it is for me to get out and drive somewhere. Maybe I'm nesting. It's not normal nesting, though, because I'm not cleaning anything or preparing anything for the babies. I'm mostly just living my life, quietly. That, and I feel like (and measuring like!) I'm 32-33 weeks instead of nearly 25, so moving around is becoming a challenge...and I still have 2-3 months of this.

School is going well, and I enjoy this time each day with my big kids. Lucy is still a struggle during schooltime, but the world hasn't ended because of it. Maryn is reading better and better each day, and I'm in awe of how quickly she picks up new things. Sam has learned SO much this year so far. We have been schooling for 3 months nearly, and he is soaking it all up.

This doesn't mean that we don't have bad days. In fact, for awhile there, it seemed like our bad days were more frequent than our good days. A lot of it has to do with my attitude and how I respond to him. I'm learning that being matter-of-fact is more effective than getting annoyed or irritated when he refuses to do something. Some days, school takes WAY longer than it should because we have to stop, correct behavior or attitude, redo whatever lesson we were working on, and then move forward.

All in all, he has learned far more than I bargained for. Someone once told me that kindergarten (or was it pre-k?) is really a lesson in learning to stand in line. They don't learn much more than that.

I beg to differ.

Sam has learned to read with better proficiency, is tackling long vowels like a champ, has learned to count to 100 by 1's and 10's, he is learning to add, he is learning basic fractions this week, he is learning how to write properly, he has memorized 10 verses and the Lord's Prayer. All of this and so much more in 3 months. Seriously. I don't say this to brag at all. I say this because I think kids really want to learn more and the more you work with them, they will surprise you with what they're capable of! Their brains are amazing. Our Creator deserves all glory for His amazing creation!

I think it is limiting to them to say that all they will learn is how to stand in line. They are capable of so much more. And they do take pride in their accomplishments. Sam gets excited when he learns something new, and it is fun to watch him apply it throughout the day. It's very rewarding. I realize he could have learned all of this stuff in a traditional school, but I am amazed that he is learning all of this stuff from ME. I never, in a million years, thought I would be teaching my kids at home. But I am thankful for the opportunity, even if this is the only year I do it (we will reevaluate in the summer and see how life with twins is treating us).

I may not be out and about and taking the world by storm, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to stay home with my kids, teach them, and enjoy watching them be kids. I know I'm very blessed to be in this position, and I try not to take it for granted.

I'm off to spruce up the home, welcome Lucy's speech therapist, and begin my day in the hermitage. :)

Oh, the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus!

I've been thinking about sorrow and grief multiple times over the last month. I've had three friends miscarry their sweet babies, and hearing that news just never gets easier.

It's also been on my mind a lot because the baby I lost would have been due this week. I've thought so many times about how I would have been close to delivery, eagerly anticipating his/her arrival, and our lives would be changed again. Watching my friends walk through the journey without me has not been easy; in fact, it has just sucked. I certainly wish no ill will on anyone, and I am happy for them; it's just hard to watch them knowing that I won't get to experience that with the baby I lost. I think I am in the final stage of grief, and I think this too shall pass as this date passes me by.

I miss that little baby, conceived in love and commitment, created for a purpose. I was honored to be his/her mommy for just a short amount of time. But, I'm still sad. Even with two wiggly boys in my womb right now, I still feel the loss of that precious one. Just because I was able to conceive again doesn't mean that the love and memory of that precious one has been erased. I will never forget that sweet child.

Last night, after hearing of another friend miscarrying, I began thinking of Jesus, dying on the cross, becoming sin for us and carrying our sorrows. Isaiah 53 says,

3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

⁴ Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

Jesus, the Son of God, the Son of man, understands the grief and sorrow that comes with loss of a child. Because of His great sacrifice on the cross, He acquainted himself with these very griefs. He experienced ALL of it on the cross. He is the ideal one to carry us through the grief and sorrow ourselves. I am so thankful for this beautiful gift--one who can understand perfectly what I am going through because He has ALREADY CARRIED IT for me. I can lean on Him and trust Him in my sorrow.

Occasionally, I will still have a sad moment, but through it all, the overwhelming and predominant feeling in the midst of sorrow has been JOY. JOY in Him--that He loves me, that He would carry my burdens, that He is my strength, that He is my hope. I pray that my friends experience this Deep, Deep, Love of Jesus. I pray that they are touched by His Joy and can be filled with it in the midst of their own sorrow.

We are healed by His stripes. We are whole in Him. We lack nothing. We have everything. All will be restored. All will be made new. Praise Him!!!

21 Weeks--16 to go!!!

I go to the doctor next week. I have gained 19 lbs so far. I need to gain 5 more lbs. in the next 3 weeks to meet the quota of 24 lbs in 24 weeks. Evidently, if you gain less than 24 lbs in 24 weeks, your chances of preterm labor increase significantly. I think I can do it! :)

The boys are moving quite a bit these days. They really enjoy dinner time and bed time. We have decided on first names but no middle names yet. I will announce them here whenever we tell our families what we've chosen.

We just hope no one is negative about the names...we've been down that road before!

37 weeks is my goal. If they stay in a bit longer, I won't mind (even though the discomfort will make me mind!!!). I pray they're both over 6 lbs and good nursers!!!

I will definitely update after my appointment next week. I'm looking forward to the ultrasound. It's so fun to see them on there, wiggling around and waving at me. :)

Last Trip (for awhile)

We made our last trip of my pregnancy this past week. I am to the point already (at 18 weeks) where riding in the van for extended periods of time is very uncomfortable. Some of our good friends from residency were in Tulsa because of a death in their family. We wanted to be sure to see them while they were in town because it has been a year since we saw them last, and we won't see them for another year and a half or so. They are missionaries in Kenya, and it was GREAT to see them and their children. It is so surreal sometimes to think about them being overseas; someday, I will feel that way about us being overseas!

We were able to visit with a lot of people, but there were still so many that we didn't get to see! It's so hard to not be able to see EVERYONE. But, I trust we saw those that we needed to see this trip. We were so blessed by our hostess, Jan, and by the many families who cooked for us. We are so thankful for the time people made in their schedules for us.

The kids got to swim several times and had a blast. They love going to Tulsa. They always hate to leave. :)

Now that we're back home, we are prepared to settle in and stay put. The babies are coming in Dec/Jan, and I have a feeling it will be months before we're brave enough to attempt a road trip with 5 children (2 of them babies!). So, here's to being a homebody and being content!

So, if you miss us, come visit! :)

I have an ultrasound today as well as my doctor's appt. I am looking forward to seeing the boys (I will be surprised if Baby A is a girl. Very surprised.) I will certainly let you know if it changes!

I must move on with my day. I have too much to do to sit here any longer!

Twins 101: Conversations

"I heard the great news! Twins!"

"Yes. We're very excited."

"Better you than me!"



"Are they fraternal or identical?"

"I don't know yet. We might find out at our ultrasound, but then again, we may have to wait until they're born."

"Does it run in your family?"

"Yes, I have some that are distant cousins."

"What about your husband's family?"

"Well, it actually doesn't matter if they're on his side of the family. For fraternal (genetic) twins, it has to be on my side because it means I released two eggs."

"Oh. Well, congratulations...I guess."


These are a couple of the real conversations I have had multiple times. Not everyone ended on a negative note, but I have had a few end like these. It never ceases to amaze me how negative people's comments can be, and they assume you agree with them so they're not rude at all. Yeah, right.

But I've had some good conversations as well. My favorite was with my friend, Caroline. We were in Tulsa for the weekend, and we went to visit our former church there. She walked straight up to me and said,

"This is the greatest thing you will ever walk into. This is something you will look back on and say that this is when it all began. This is a great blessing, and I am so excited for what God is going to do."

That is a loose translation, but exactly what I heard.

Speak life to people.

If you say you honor life, respect life, and protect life, then SPEAK LIFE.

Speak it over your children, over your home, over your spouse, over your family, over your friends, over the Body of Christ, over the sucky circumstances in your life, over the amazing circumstances.

Always SPEAK LIFE.

Appointment and Disappointment

We had our first appointment with the OB/GYN yesterday. Everything went really smoothly, and I was not required to repeat all the lab work and exams that I had already done at the Health Department for my midwife risk assessment. That was nice.

We really liked our doctor, even if he was a bit chatty. Once they find out your husband is a doctor, the conversation can kind of stray! It was fine, though, and we feel really comfortable with him as our doctor. He is very confident in his own abilities, and he was confident in ME. I really like that kind of support--especially when it comes to birthin' babies. Because really, I am the one who does all the work anyway. :)

The disappointment was that we did not get to have an ultrasound because he doesn't do them in his office, so we have a separate appointment to have that done next week. In the future, I will have ultrasounds every month to check on the babies and make sure they're both getting enough to eat. These appointments will be right before my doctor's appointment, so I won't have to make the trip twice. Thank you!

We got to hear their heartbeats. It really might be one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. To hear two was comforting--I'm glad they're both okay in there. I've felt them flutter around a bit, but at this stage of the game, it isn't regular enough to gauge anything by it. My blood pressure is stellar, and so far, my weight gain is great. I'm right where I should be...hope I can keep it that way. :)

We ate Indian food last night for dinner since we were in the city, and it was delish. But there was this obnoxious woman who came in to do a take-out order. She was talky-talky and passive-aggressive, and it was so sweet because Dave caught my eye and said, "I love you so much." I laughed. I guess he's glad I'm not as neurotic as that lady. :)

Well, stay tuned for a post on Twins 101. The facts, the myths, and the common questions that I get asked almost EVERY day.

Diseases, Books, and My Exciting Life

Not too much has been happening here...well, nothing exciting anyway.

Last week, all three of my kids had hand/foot/mouth--a nasty virus that has sores in those three body parts. Lucy was the worst, and it was miserable. She didn't sleep well (translated: we didn't sleep well), and she was just very fussy. I am so thankful they are all better now.

We had a friend who is a missionary in East Asia come stay the night with us this week. It was nice to visit with her and hear about what God is doing in her part of the world. He is really moving among the church there and is drawing more to Himself.

I read another book by Wayne Jacobsen--So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore? It was really interesting. Too many thoughts to go into here and now, but I will say, I agreed with far more than I disagreed with. It is not a proclaimer of house church or no church or anti-traditional church. It is all about US as THE CHURCH living in community with one another--transparently and honestly--loving people and making Jesus our focus instead of buildings, programs, classes, methods, or men. It was very encouraging, and it is exactly what I needed to read right now. I do recommend it.

I'm reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett right now for book club. I am loving it so far. It is really well-written, and I can tell it is going to be one of those books that I am going to want to own. If you're wondering, it is about some black maids in the 60s who have been raising white children for years as nannies, but they are also discriminated against by their employers. A white woman comes along who wants to see change, and the three of them together embark on a journey of change during the civil rights era.

Lucy starts speech therapy next week. I am glad. However, in the last month since her evaluation, she is already saying new words and trying oh so hard to say many more. I'm very happy for her. We're still trying to decide whether we want to pursue developmental therapy. We really feel like the speech will help her in her weak developmental areas. I am hoping she does really well with speech in the next three months, because once I hit my third trimester, traveling an hour twice a week for therapy just may not be reasonable--it just depends how well my pregnancy is going.

We go to the doctor I found on Monday. We are very excited. We are not expecting to see their genders because I will be almost 15 weeks. It is possible, but I am not getting my hopes up. We are very thankful for the doctor we found. He is so reasonable and kind and supportive. Now we just have to pray all goes well and that the babies stay head down throughout delivery! :)

Well, that's about it for me. I hope your week is going well!!!

Plans and Open Hands

Planning for the birth of a baby is challenging, especially when you already have children. Planning for the birth of TWO babies (at the same time!) is even more challenging and ESPECIALLY when you have three older children.

I have felt every emotion possible this past week: happy, overwhelmed, excited, thankful, scared, nervous, and a little loony.

I have comforted myself with the knowledge that God has chosen this for our family. He has blessed us with this amazing gift of two children at once. He is wise. He also knows how pressure draws us closer to Him. Trusting Him in this will be a lesson all in itself!

Right now, I am trying to decide which doctor I will go with. I am doing my best to research them ahead of time instead of doing several interviews since we live an hour away. It hasn't been really easy, and some offices have been more cooperative than others. I've called hospitals and talked about their policies for multiple births. I am still waiting to hear back from a couple of doctors.

I want what is best for my children. I want them to be healthy, though I know that isn't a guarantee or a proof of God's goodness. He is good no matter how healthy they are. I do want to plan the best possible situation for them to be born in. I feel that if I fail to plan for the best possible situation, then it will certainly NEVER happen. Things may not go the way I plan, and I know that, and I'm okay with that, but if I don't plan for the best, then that reality is not a possibility.

I am daily reminding myself that I am not in control. I don't have to be in control. I don't know how early they'll be born. I don't know how much they'll weigh. I don't know if they'll nurse well. But if I don't take care of myself, then the chances are, they'll be born earlier, weigh less than they should, and probably struggle with nursing. So, wouldn't I be foolish to not prepare for the BEST and take care of myself?

I think the same thing goes for my birth plan. I want to have a vaginal delivery. It is statistically the better option for both mom and baby. I want to work towards that. I realize it may not happen. One of my wiggly children may decide to turn some funny way at the last minute. I know that. I am prepared for that.

I want to have a natural birth if possible. The fewer medications in my body=the fewer medications in their bodies. It is also an amazing experience for all involved. My experience with Lucy was so amazing, and the bond and connection we shared was very different from my other births. Do I love my other children less? No. Absolutely not. But the experience has changed our relationships. I can't deny that. I don't need to defend natural childbirth--there's a plethora of information that shows how much better it is for mom and baby, breastfeeding, and postpartum recovery.

I have already felt the criticism of others for wanting to plan in this direction--as if I would totally disregard my children for what I want. That kind of judgment goes straight to my heart--that I would prefer myself over my kids. I will do what is best, and I trust that the Lord will give me wisdom and discretion for each situation.

In the meantime, I will continue to search for the best doctor and hospital for me and my babies. I am so thankful for a husband who supports me in my decisions and who isn't afraid to tell me if something makes him uncomfortable. We are in this TOGETHER, and we will press forward in this adventure regardless of the criticism.

A Really Uninteresting Post

I don't really have anything interesting to say. I hope to contradict myself, but that would be surprising.

I feel time is flying pretty quickly. My kids are growing. My belly is growing...mostly with fat. No really. It's funny to me that anyone would assume there's a baby in there since it is only the size of a plum. My belly is sure a lot bigger than that! It doesn't really bother me, but I don't want to wear maternity clothes yet. It was exciting to wear them with Sam (which I didn't get to do until I was 20 weeks). I'm wearing maternity stuff today at 10 weeks...I also need to do laundry. I just don't enjoy the looks on people's faces when I tell them I'm still in my first trimester. The cashier at Wal-Mart thought for sure I was four months pregnant. Ha! My abs just aren't what they used to be. :)

I'm considering giving the potty a try with Lucy. She almost peed on it last night. By almost, I mean she stood up from it and peed on the floor. She started crawling out of her bed yesterday. I have never had this issue. Neither of my big kids did that. She is a monkey. She is so tiny too. It amazes me she did it. As a result, we are going to move her to a toddler bed soon and put the big kids in bunk beds. So, this weekend, we will be shopping for bunk beds. I was hoping for a twin/full combo. But DANG, bunk beds are not cheap! I also want sturdy wood ones instead of metal construction. It wouldn't be too bad if we didn't have to buy the mattresses too. I saw a few on Craigslist that looked appealing, but we're not super thrilled with buying used mattresses. Does that gross out anyone else? If you live in my area, do you have any good recommendations on places to buy them? I have looked at several stores online, and I've found a few things that I like, but it looks like the cheapest is going to be about $800 for everything. What I want to buy is about $1200 total, and I just can't stomach that! And it appears, most folks on Craigslist want you to take their mattresses too.

I am thankful my kids have places to sleep. And a roof. And food. And more toys than any of us want them to have. I'm such an American.